415 oracle items tagged as team oracle
October 17, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 23 October.

Well, from all this year I have feel so alone, like literally alone because maybe don't like me or because I am different but I really don't know a main reason of why people around me treat me so in this bad way, including my family.
I feel like the the stupid girl everyone knows and ignores and they make joke on me and insult me and if I do something like for defending myself they over attack and shout at me and make me feel so sad. I have to hold all these feeling until I arrive home and lock on my bathroom and cry, because if I cry in my room my grandma and sister will see me and will make fun of it. Sometimes I talk about that with my grandma who I have live with her since I moved to Ecuador (I born in Brooklyn NY but all my family are from Ecuatorians) and tell her that please don't act that way that she is like a mom but the only thing she reply me is "I am not your mom, your mom is dead, if you don't like it here, the door are all the time open for you to leave." And it is horrible because she was my mom's mom and that is really horrible.
I don't have a close friend to talk about this because every person I have met on school had treat me bad and ignores me and I am always trying to be kind at them. I feel hated and I don't know why.
Thanks God this is my last year of High School and I am going to try to walk away from people who are like that to me but I can't go away from my house and go to another country because I am scared to death that while the time I am in another country my grandma die and I won't be able to be with her. This can be strange because of the way she is to me but anyway I love her and I would consider myself a monster if I am not with her until her last days.
So, I know this is really confusing but I really feel lost. Moving with my dad to NY would be worse. I feel that no one understands me. The only person I kinda trust is my sister but like I said before, she later makes fun of me and that makes me feel so miserable with life.
Karolyn, Ecuador.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

October 10, 2014 / submitted by Teresa, India
Do you have a favourite line of lyrics from any of the Ghost Stories songs? And from any of the other era songs? Is there any particular line that always gets to you?
Thanks in advance if you answer this! Love from India.

This was such a popular question, Teresa.
It's so hard to look back over 16 years and choose one (as you will see below) so I'll go with the most recent.
The first lyric that popped into my head anyway was "Tell me you love me, if you don't then lie, oh lie to me". The first time I heard that, it punched me in an animated Batman KAPOW painful way (True Love from Ghost Stories).
I've mentioned before that I have always loved, "I'd rather be a comma than a full stop" from Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall (MX). It stood out immediately and I can relate to that.
Even though I've had a week to think about it, I'm sure I'll kick myself later when another one comes to mind!
Over to you.
p.s. Teresa herself replied - see further down.

My favourite Lyrics from the GS-Era is from the track Ghost Story, and my favourite line in that song: 'What's the point of feeling love for you when you don't believe I'm here?' Impossible love, a well-known problem.
I think the way Coldplay connects a Ghost to people who are invisible to the person they love, is very cool.
It is my favourite lyrics of all eras, though I also love Viva la Vida's lyrics. It's a lyric about the French Revolution (I think), which is one of my favourite aspects in history. In the French Revolution, the King was dethroned and killed, as well as all the nobility. Most of the stories tell that was good, but Coldplay lyrics shows the 'other side' of the story, in a beautiful way (with some awesome music).
Isabelle, the Netherlands.

Oh dear! Once I laid eyes on this question I couldn't help but think of -not one- but three of the most beautiful Coldplay lines that always get me shivering. One is "I wouldn't change a single thing" in Til Kingdom Come. It reminds me of how I strongly feel about Coldplay. The second line holds a very special place in my heart, since it saved my life from being taken away by myself. This is "I'll start before I can stop, or before I see things the right way up." in Speed of Sound. It made me realise that I hadn't even started living life and already wanted to end it, therefore changing my whole outlook on life. The third and final one, is the short and sweet lyrics to O part 2. "Oh, don't ever let go" I think of it whatever I am stressed or angry and it hits me so hard and makes me feel much stronger. I have so many more tales I can tell, due to Coldplay speaking in such metaphors that explain everything I go through in the journey of life. Due to bounds being put, I can only tell those. Stay lovely! Solaf.

On Ghost Stories, I have so many favourite lines I couldn't possibly list them all. But a few include, Ink, "Just want a way of keeping you inside;" True Love, "Remember once upon a time/ When I was yours and you were blind/ A fire would sparkle in your eyes/ And mine;" A Sky Full of Stars, "I don't care, go on and tear me apart;" and the entire song of Always in my Head.
Sorry I couldn't be more accurate, but it's just that I love Coldplay and every song line that comes with them. Victoria.

Last year was my first year away from home at college, and I was feeling really torn up and homesick about it when I heard Midnight for the first time. 'Millions of miles from home' really summed up how I felt then, but it made me feel so comforted and secure to hear 'Leave a light on' because I know I'll always have a loving home to go back to. Emily.

My favorite line is the one out of Magic. "Call it magic, call it true, when I'm next to you." This is the way I feel when our son Jazz was born. It felt like magic!
Love from the Netherlands, Samantha.

Yes I actually do have a favorite line from Ghost Stories Album. It's "I still believe in Magic, Yes I do, of course I do." Because I do believe that anything is possible and everything can happen if you have Determination and Positivity and all that. But the lyric that always gets to me is from "EVERY TEARDROP IS A WATERFALL" still from Coldplay, and it goes like this. "I feel my heart stop beating to my favorite song". I think you already know the answer why this is my lyric feels. Since I'm a huge fan of Coldplay and a music enthusiast every time I hear them (Coldplay or to "my other" favorite Bands e.g. Coldplay) on radio or see them on MTV or other music channels. I always feel like my heart skips a beat or (exaggerated may it seem) will pop out over my chest. So yep, I hope this answers your question. Wish you the best! :) Love, Shaine from Philippines! x

'Tell me you love me; if you don't, then lie.'
This reminds me of my first relationship and my current one.
I can't begin to describe what emotions are evoked when I listen to True Love: joy, pain, paranoia combined. Orlagh.

The first time I heard Always in my Head, the last lyric stood out to me and made me tear up a little: "This, I guess, is to tell you you're chosen out from the rest." I really love it because I want someone to love me and always think of me like the song says. It just hit close to my heart when I hear it and think that I don't have someone to love me like that yet. But my all-time favorite lyric is from Lovers in Japan because it has been my saving grace on moments where I've felt like there was no hope or happiness: "Dreaming of the Osaka sun... dreaming of when the morning comes." It always reminds me that I have to keep on trying because it will get better.
Love, Jo from the U.S.

Death And All His Friends is the song that pulled me to love Coldplay, and I love the line "no I don't want to battle from beginning to end no I don't want to cycle or recycle revenge no I don't want to follow death and all of his friends"
From Ghost Stories my favorite lyric is "tell me you love me. If you don't then lie. Lie to me" because it has so much emotion. Brooklynn.

My favorite line of lyric of all time has to be "Questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart" from The Scientist. It hits home every time I hear it and is the reason that is my absolute favorite song. Sha.

My favorite lyric from Ghost Stories is probably the chorus (I think) from Fly On (O).
'Fly on, ride through, maybe one day, I can fly with you...'
Overall though, I'd have to say Parachutes is my favorite lyric-wise.
'In the haze, in the stormy haze, I'll be 'round, I'll be loving you always, always...' Taylor.

From Ghost Stories my favourite lines are "My body moves, goes where I will / But though i try, my heart stays still" and "Fly on, ride through / Maybe one day I'll fly next to you". There's just something so simple about the lyrics from Ghost Stories that really gets me.
Other than that, I think X&Y is the best album lyrically - I especially love the lyrics from Square One ("Under the surface trying to break through / Deciphering the codes in you"), White Shadows ("You're part of the human race / All of the stars in the outer space"), Fix You ("When you lose something you can't replace"), and Swallowed In The Sea ("And I could write a song / A hundred miles long"). Rhys.

Where do I begin??? One lyric that spoke to me many years ago and was a catalyst for a huge life change, was a line from Fix You, "If you never try, you'll never know just what you're worth". Those lyrics spoke to me and caused me to embark on a path that led to me finding my wonderful husband.
I could go on for an hour about how lyrics have touched me. Every era had lyrics I have loved but more recently ASFOS really came at an opportune time. I had been going through a depression and it honestly felt like a warm blanket around my troubled soul, even now as I face more challenges the line "cause you get lighter the more it gets dark" and "I think I see you" speak to me in dark moments.
It is wonderful to feel connected to such lovely music. I hope it never ends. Laurie.

Speaking about Coldplay lyrics, I want to name Green Eyes song. It is written purely about my feelings to one wonderful girl. In my time of difficulty she became a light I fell in love in, with her beautiful green eyes. No more words, just that I love her. "The green eyes, you're the one I always wanted to find".
Andy, Odessa.

I have so many favourite lyrics lines from every Coldplay Album, it's very hard to choose.
Entire lyrics of Fix You.
"I know that everything's not lost" - Everything's Not Lost.
"Nobody said it was easy" - The Scientist.
"Do you feel like a puzzle?
You can't find your missing piece" - Talk.
"Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost" - Lost!
"When she was just a girl,
She expected the world,
But it flew away from her reach,
So she ran away in her sleep." - Paradise.
"I'd rather be a comma than a full stop " - ETIAW.
"A simple plot but I know one day
Good things are coming our way " - Up with the birds.
"And I call it magic
And I call it true" - Magic.
"Every time I try to walk through walls
More walls appear
What's the point of feeling love for you
When you don't believe I'm here?
What's the point of trying to raise your voice
If no one ever hears?
Every time I try to pull you close
You disappear" - Ghost Story.
"You want to stop before you begin
You want to sink when you know you could swim
You want to stop just before you begin
Never give in; never give in" - Crests of Waves.
"So fly on, ride through,
maybe one day I'll fly next to you" - O.
But one line means soo much to me from Ghost Stories hidden track... DON'T EVER LET GO. When I listened to Chris during Zane Lowe interview, it was very clear to me.
I got a tattoo of these lyrics. Maren, Germany.

I really like the way the line, "Tell me you love me, if you don't then lie" was delivered in True Love, both for what it says and the melody with which it is sung. It really does sting you when you hear that, doesn't it?
My favourite line from all the albums so far though, would definitely have to be:
"Bullets fly, split the sky. But that's alright, sometimes sunlight comes streaming through the holes."
I've easily listened to this song at least 70 times and it still gives me goosebumps whenever I listen to that part. What an incredible line!
Having said that, I think X & Y and Viva la Vida were the two albums where I saw Coldplay's lyrical best. Suhit.

"Every one of is scared, everyone of us is hurt. Everyone of us has hope, for you."
For You, Parachutes era.
"Here I am and I'll wait in line, always..."
Parachutes, Parachutes era.
"So I crawl back into your open arms."
Warning Sign, A Rush of Blood to the Head era.
"Give me strength; reserve control..."
Politik, A Rush of Blood to the Head era.
"I tried to sing but I couldn't think of anything."
The Hardest Part, X&Y era. Haya.

"Tell me you love me, come back and hunt me" always gets me because it's so deep and beautiful, and I love it
Bye, Rui.

I threw this question up because one of the big reasons I've always loved Coldplay is their lyrics. Chris consistently manages to come up with the most beautiful metaphors and imagery that somehow describe exactly what someone is going through. You can't help but be moved when the words are so powerful and heartfelt.
Parachutes holds a special place in my heart for the simple and strong message it carries. I also turn to Coldplay's music whenever I want to feel uplifted, or to be filled with hope, and the lyrics do just that: "...I came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now I met you..." from Green Eyes, and this line from Amsterdam: "...stood on the edge, tied to the noose, you came along and you cut me loose..." That one is like a gut-punch every time I hear it.
My all-time favourite lyrics, however, are from Moving to Mars. It's just one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.
"Somewhere up above the stars
The wreckage of a universe floats past
Somewhere up above my heart
A tiny little seed is sown, a government is overthrown,
Who knows when we'll be coming home at last..."
Thanks to everyone who shared their favourite lyrics!
Love from India, Teresa.

My most favourite line of lyrics from a Coldplay song are the last lines from Amsterdam:
"Stood on the edge, tied to the noose.
You came along, and you cut me loose."
Two years ago I felt really depressed, I lost my mom due to cancer, and I just didn't know what to do with myself.
Until I met the love of my life, my girlfriend. She managed to pull me through it, and I think this song really describe that
feeling that I felt. And she's from Amsterdam so that's really cool!
I want to thank Saja, my girlfriend, for being there for me, and Coldplay, for making such beautiful music!
Greetings from the Netherlands! Bram.

That's a great question you asked, it's interesting to see what words move several people living in separate places. But it's hard to choose though.
I can't have a favourite Coldplay song or line because they all have a special meaning to me, but here are three that always make me stop and (re)think:
"Lovers keep on the road you're on, runners until the race is run" - Lovers in Japan.
"All you ever wanted was love but you never looked hard enough"- Low.
"Still I always look up to the sky, pray before the dawn" - O.
Although they come from different eras they can kinda be connected through the same idea (at least for me):
If you want to achieve something, never lose trust or faith, and keep in mind that everything worth having requires time and work, nothing is free and God-given. Sometimes you can be sad and lost, and you may think that everyone is against you, but it's you who's creating your life and your path. And if you choose a path, if you have a dream, then stick to it and do anything to make it possible ("until the race is run") because there is no greater feeling than accomplishing something you've worked on hard and creating something that didn't exist before. The line from O is to wrap it all up with freedom-live and let live, let go, have hope and remember: "Suffering teaches sweet understanding".
Sajra, Bosnia and Herzegovina.

Oh absolutely there are so many Coldplay lyrics that hold special meaning to me. Here are just a few...
Ink's "Just wanted a way of keeping you inside."
Speed of Sound's "How long do I have to climb up on the side of this mountain of mine."
White Shadow's "Maybe you get what you wanted. Maybe you'll stumble upon it. Everything you've ever wanted in a permanent state. Maybe you'll know it when you see it. Maybe if you say it you'll mean it and when you find it, you'll keep it in a permanent state."
Gravity's "And then I looked up at the sun and I could see, oh the way that gravity pulls on you and me. And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun, and the way that gravity pushes on everyone... on everyone."
Shiver's "I know you don't listen to me cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?"
Hurts Like Heaven's "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like heaven."
Clock's "Confusion that never stops. The closing walls and the ticking clocks are gonna come back and take you home and I couldn't stop that and you now know.."
Much love, Miranda.

My all time favourite lyrics are "Is there anybody out there who is lost and hurt and lonely too, are they bleeding all your colours into one?"
When I'm feeling wrecked and useless and unwanted they remind me that I'm not alone in how I feel and that there are always people out there who understand, I just need to reach out to the right people. Sam.

Always In My Head's first few lines somehow seemed to work with how I was feeling when I first heard it...
"I think of you, I haven't slept, I think I do but, I don't forget".
Thanks, Marcus.

My favourite still is and always will be: "If you never try, you'll never know just what you're worth" from Fix You(X&Y). It reminds me that sometimes you have to dare to take risks in order to grow or move forward in your life. It's a bit similar to "start as you mean to go on" from A Rush of Blood to the Head, which reminds me that if I want to achieve a certain goal, I'll succeed if I put all my effort in it and try my very best from the beginning. I know that doesn't always make sense, cause some goals you do achieve and others you don't, but I like to think positive everytime I start something new. There are a lot of great quotes in Coldplay songs, my favourite from Ghost Stories is probably: "In the darkness before the dawn, leave a light on" from Midnight. Amanda.

One song that has always struck a chord with me is "In My Place," as it perfectly describes a time in my life where things were not going okay. Basically, I was in a job situation where I was treated unfairly and somewhat persecuted for reasons that I still am not sure about. Then, in my desperation I found that I was indeed "scared, tired and under prepared," and indeed, "lost." I was trying to hold onto something that was slipping out of my hands. Eventually, despite harassment complaint and having a lot of colleagues speak on my behalf I was released. I exited with grace but I was lost for a long time. I went for a walk one day when I first discovered Coldplay and "In My Place," came on and it really resonated with me. That was me and how I felt. The words fit the situation perfectly for me and the way the music intertwined with my emotions was amazing. I used to listen to the song and walk on shores of Lake Superior and it was then I felt like I was able to identify my feelings, my situation and the song provided me with reassurance. This is why I still to this day love and listen to Coldplay. There are many other songs by Coldplay that hit me the same way. But there will always be a "place" for me in that song, even though I have moved on. By Marcia in Duluth, MN.

I'll choose two lines of lyrics one from Ghost Stories and the other from Mylo Xyloto. The first one is taken from O. 'Don't ever let go' is the kind of message everyone should take into account in their lives. It reminds me I have to work hard to make my wishes come true because it doesn't matter how difficult it seems as long as I fight for it I'll get what I want. The second one is from Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall. The first two songs I listen to by Coldplay being aware of who they are, were Paradise and ETIAW. There were other songs I listened to but I wasn't that real music fan who paid attention to radio songs and their singers as I'm now. So when I listened to ETIAW it made me think about what I wanted to achieve in my life. Specially, the line 'I rather be a comma than a full stop' had a big impact in the way I was setting my goals. It seems we're leaving in a world where power, money and intolerance are the most important things to succeed. That's something I don't want around me; I believe love and happiness will be near as long as you give it without asking for it. I'm not sure about the meaning of the lyrics as I'm not an English speaker but every time I listen to it I know I want to be more than a girl who wants to succeed. I want to be someone who shows that happiness can be found in the simplest things and that brings hope and peace for everything we do.
Be a comma and don't ever let go, Isabel.

"I'd rather be a comma than a full stop" - Every Teardrop is a Waterfall / Mylo Xyloto. Ozlem.

Always In My Head feels so personal, like Chris sings it right to me and no one else. "This, I guess, is to tell you you're chosen out from the rest..."
Lyrics from O makes me think of my father. He died in a drowning accident in 1996. I miss him very much but I am sure that we will meet again when it is time for me to say good bye to this world.
"So fly on
Ride through
Maybe one day I'll fly next to you
Fly on, ride through
Maybe one day I can fly with you"
Paradise reminds me of my childhood when I used to fly away in my thoughts and dreams.
"When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Dreamed of para- para- paradise
Every time she closed her eyes"
Talk has followed me a long time. Especially when I was younger and felt insecure.
"Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well, I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me"
And finally, the brilliant lyrics from Fix You's 1st verse & chorus.
Love, Ann-Sofie, Sweden.

All of Viva La Vida. #inspired

I have a special feeling for Amsterdam because the melody is so beautiful and mean a lot to me. The line "Come on, oh my star is fading and I swerve out of control" reminds me when I was about 11 years old and those years I had so many family problems including my parents yelling to each other every single day and then getting separated (they got together again later) and as a child I always felt so lonely and helpless. I don't remember how many times I lock myself in the bathroom to cry and the only thing that made me feel better was listening to this song. The piano and Chris voice was so relaxing that somehow it's like the song was telling me "calm down, it's going to be okay". I love it so much, it really means everything to me and I hope one day I could see them live playing it. This is why I love this band so much! Please tell them to never stop doing such beautiful songs as Amsterdam. Daniela, Chile.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

October 10, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 16 October.

In the last months my life seems to be a bit flat. I often feel sad, weak, empty. It's like something's missing, maybe happiness.
I really need to change the situation because I don't think I would stand it any longer. What can I do?
Ivana, Italy.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

October 3, 2014 / submitted by Gabby, United Kingdom
Lately I've been feeling something strange. I haven't told anyone out of fear of sounding weird or dumb. Seeing people my age (I'm 18) who are famous and very successful (such as Lorde or Harry Styles) makes me wish I could have the success or happiness that they have. I've been feeling like because I am not famous, my life won't feel as significant or awesome, and I won't be able to do all of the cool things they get to do. Have you ever felt this? I'm curious to see your answer. Thank you.

I have never felt this way but will try to offer some help.
Some people achieve and succeed through talent, determination, hard work but usually a little luck thrown in.
I can understand a desire to be able to do cool stuff but I don't equate it with being famous.
If there is something you want to buy, save for it. If there's something you want to do, learn how to do it. You can make it happen for you just as they did if you REALLY want it - once you work out what your "it" is.
If you do have a talent (in any field), there's no reason you can't get to the same level as Lorde, Harry et al.
If not, why not find a project to work on. You could be raising awareness for a great cause or finding funding for a scheme or giving your time to a charity. That's worthwhile in my book.
Celebrity does bring opportunities but it's not unattainable for us mere civilians. I wouldn't want to be famous for any amount of money in the world!
Rather than feel envious about wealthy celebrities your age, why not take some motivation from it to achieve whatever your goal is? Just be the best you can be. Money does not necessarily bring happiness. Perhaps you should concentrate on what makes you happy and if it's money, maybe you need to find something more worthwhile to focus on.
Only you can make your life significant so don't waste it - go out and do amazing things. Every small thing you do can be significant. You can make changes and make it count but please try not to get fixated on the transience of fame and its trappings. There is more to life than celebrity. Find what makes you happy and let go of the comparisons.
Over to you.

Yes.. I thought of it and felt it too sometimes. Like why other people my age are seems to be more successful than me. Like.. why are they like this and why I'm not like that. But even though they seem to be more successful (like Lorde or Harry Styles) than I am. I don't feel less significant or awesome. Why? Because I have with me the people that makes me feel significant and awesome. The people who you love and loves you back. It doesn't mean that you cant do awesome stuff because your not famous. You just have to work hard for it to achieve it you know.. Like what other always say "Work hard, Play harder". You're 18, you're still young and probably studying. You can still be able to get the cool things if you focus on setting your goals. You can have the success in life if you have goals. and I think it'll be best if you don't compare yourself to other people's achievements because we all have the ability to do what they can do. You just have to have your dreams faith eagerness to achieve that.
Hope this answer you question. Wish you the best! Love, Shaine from Philippines.

Yes Gabby everyone has thought of fame at least once in their lifetime. Some have thought of it for the fun, some for the money, others just for pure curiosity. I have gone through that phase, but coming to think of it, fame isn't all about people loving you and tonnes of cash, fame has a dark, dark side to it. When one is at this stage in life (teenage phase) and becomes famous, they tend to become frustrated and act somewhat unlike themselves, due to this phase being the most delicate and sensitive phase in one's life. Yes you can use fame in good ways (such as the charitable Coldplay) but that's not how most teenagers think. I would love to be famous, as I am very much inspired by Coldplay. I know it's hard and that it comes with so many cons, but being able to do what I love and at the same time help people means the entire world to me. Solaf.

Anyone who pays attention to the history of music or show business in general knows that fame doesn't guarantee happiness or fulfilment. Look at how many artists have become addicts or killed themselves despite their success.
Instead of seeking fame, seek a path that will fulfil you. Ask yourself, what makes me delighted? What fascinates me so much that time disappears when I'm engaged in that activity? What do you like to share with people you care about?
Fame is a by-product of being fabulous at what you do (hopefully) and not a goal. Find your own happiness and follow it, if fame follows, you'll need to deal with a laundry list of other issues. If it doesn't, maybe you'll just be really happy. Jamie.

I understand what you're talking about. I'm 24 and I've read about the campaign Emma Watson is supporting. So here I have a huge example of success. But the point is not feeling sad because you don't have what others have. Every one on their fields have achieved their goals; it doesn't matter how much impact it has in the society. I believe every single human being has given a mission or a talent (either you believe in God or the universe, etc). We're here for a reason, it could be to become a singer, an actor, a teacher or it could be to make people happy, to give advice (thanks Oracle), to support everyone in the hardest times. Sometimes all we have to do is to follow our hearts. If you think you can become a famous singer or actress look for it. Nothing comes for itself. We have to work hard to make our dreams come true. And remember this envy is one of the most horrible feelings. Happiness could be find in the simplest things, but if you start to wish what other people have you won't see it. All you need to make cool things is to enjoy what you have because even those who have suffered have found the way to live and enjoy life. Never give up, Isabel.

I've felt this way before. In fact, I've gone into some deep-ish depression because of that among other things. You gotta keep in mind that everything you do, good or bad, big or small, affects others. For instance, one of my sister's old friends, who I haven't seen or talked to in a long time, has a little brother. His family went to one of my ice hockey games (when I still played hockey). He soon started to play it and became very good. Recently, I went on Twitter and stumbled upon my sister's friend's account. She had posted something about her little brother winning a hockey tournament, and I thought to myself, "I had a major part in this role." I might not have known it, but something I did, not even directly, played a big role in his life. Taylor.

Well-known feeling here, too.
But think about this: they pay a price for being famous.
They have less private life than "normal " persons. Who does really know if they are REALLY happy when they are out of the spotlights ?
I guess everyone in the world has his own part in the world and a life-task and you have to find it..maybe you will search all your life for it.
But I don't think that your life will be less significant. You can have fun with your family & friends and for someone you love and who loves you back you will always be ( one of ) the most important person (s). Success has many faces .
Search for little luck instead of waiting for big luck, my Grandma always told me.
All the best. Maren.

First of all what I wanna say to you is be your self and try to get things out of your life for the best. You are already amazing without being famous, and being jealous is the worst thing. It looks like you aren't happy with your self. Try to find your own luck, you can do it.
I think it's not everything to being famous it's really hard work. Got one more thing to say, live your own life, take it with your both hands because there's only one you! Take care and good luck! Greetzz Marianne.

First of all, you don't sound weird or dumb Gabby no worries. I think almost everyone has a period in their lives where they wish they were famous. Keep in mind though that fame doesn't necessarily equal happiness. On TV and in front of the cameras Lorde and Harry Styles may seem very happy and awesome, but that doesn't mean everything is always going well for them. Take Robin Williams for example. On TV he was always funny and seemed to be doing great, but in real life he was depressed and not happy with his life at all. Maybe you can't do the exact same things they do, but that doesn't mean your life can't be significant or awesome. Life is what you make of it. We can't all be famous, but we can definitely all be awesome and enjoy what we do have! Good luck! Amanda.
Ps: It's never to late to have a go at stardom if you really want to.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

October 3, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply. This week, I have chosen a broader Q which may - or may not - have an emotional attachment.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 9 October.

Do you have a favourite line of lyrics from any of the Ghost Stories songs? And from any of the other era songs? Is there any particular line that always gets to you? Thanks in advance if you answer this! Love from India. Teresa. x

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
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September 26, 2014 / submitted by Francis, Germany
I've been going through a beautiful but also rather tough time this summer. My little sister developed a depression and hasn't been the same lately and although I'm positive about it and know it'll be alright again I sometimes feel guilty for departing from her because it affects me so much and it's hard finding energy every day to help her. I'm scared of being selfish! To which extent is it okay to think of my own well-being?
Thank you in advance.

What a tricky situation, Francis. As your sister didn't write to me, I'm afraid I can't advise her through you; I can only address your issue.
She's lucky to have you. How can you be selfish when you have written to me about your concern?
I don't think it's as easy as having a yardstick to measure an acceptable level of thinking of your own well-being. It's your life and it'd be pointless to be dragged down by someone else's troubles.
That said, it's natural to worry about your sister.
Unfortunately, unless your positivity transfers to her, it's not going to do much good because I'm sorry to say, you can't know it's going to be alright. I am a positive person too and believe that it can possibly be alright but she needs to work that out for herself. You can only try to help her if she is willing to accept it. There's not a lot you can do if she isn't.
You haven't mentioned your parents but it's their job to look after her so if they aren't aware of her depression, now might be the time to discuss it with them.
Your sister first needs a diagnosis from a doctor to establish whether she is depressed or just feeling down in a slump. It sounds like it's not been going on for long so maybe she's just going through a sad time.
If it's the latter without sounding harsh, try not to be an enabler. Sometimes people in this situation stay stuck there because of the attention and sympathy.
If I assume your sister wants to get better, she will need your love, understanding and encouragement. You may not be able to be with her physically every day but in today's world of technology, you'll never be that far away. Let her know you're there for her.
You can talk with her and your parents about her options and support her if she gets the help she needs but you can't fix it so there may be more tough times ahead before it can get better.
In the meantime, live your life without guilt and you can still be a great sister.
Over to you.

I have a friend that has a mental condition and often faces depressive periods. It breaks my heart every time I look at him and see in his eyes he is going through a depressive period again. But I know there's not much I can do, because he has a medical condition: I cannot prevent him to feel the way he does and I cannot make it stop.
The only thing you can do for your sister is letting her know you are there for her and doing small things (maybe something she asks you, maybe preparing some food: small but nice things). Since she has a medical condition, there is nothing you can do to avoid her suffering.

The fact that someone you love is going through such a terrible situation must be overwhelming. But it sounds like it affects you a lot and it's not selfish at all to take care of yourself too. Depression is not a battle that you can win for your sister. You cannot prevent her to feel the way she does. So taking some time apart is not bad; it doesn't mean that you are not there for her. It just means you took a minute to take a breath, to get some fresh air. You won't be able to be helpful in case your sister or your family needed something if you are not fine. And it wouldn't be helpful if your sister saw you feeling bad and associated it with her condition.
Hope it all goes well. Noelia, Argentina.

I have been through this and still go through it every single day. I don't know when exactly it's right to stop thinking about people and start thinking about myself. All I know is that you should try to divide your thoughts between you and others. Don't only think about people but also try not to make yourself all what you think about. As for your sister, I am glad you know its all going to be fine eventually. The only thing you need to know is that it will take some time so don't give up on her. If you're going through something like GCSEs or college, try to give yourself a little more time since this period of time can be very stressing. All in all, take care of yourself and make it one of (but not all) your priorities. I hope you'll be able to figure this puzzle called life out. Solaf.

I think that it's very important for you to think about your own well being. If you're a mess too, how are you going help her? I believe that depression is a very hard to go through and deal with, not only for the person that suffers it, but for those who are around as well. That angst can be kind of contagious and that it's not good for you or your sister. Allow yourself to take a breath of fresh air and disconnect. I'm going through the same thing actually, and I know it's not easy, I'm having a hard time following my own advice. I feel so useless sometimes, and I can even get so angry at my sister. I wish I could just shake it off her, but it doesn't work like that. Try to find a good balance, take care of yourself so you can be there for her as well. And as a last piece of advice, find someone you can talk to about it outside your own family, it helped me. I hope it gets better. Best, Caro.

I feel I can relate to your question, I have been on both sides of this coin. What I can tell you is it is really draining to be the person who cares for someone suffering from depression, you need to remember to care for yourself and do fun things that are just for you. Feeling guilty is a byproduct of depression, likely your sister feels guilty too and really may not want lot of attention. You may feel helpless and like you just want to make it go away but you can't. She is best helped by your support and by a trained professional counselor or mental health professional. You need to be on the look out for any sign she may bring harm to herself, be attentive and listen to what she says. Sometimes just being with someone who cares is enough support. It sounds like she is getting better but be aware it can resurface again, in fact once we have a depressive episode, chances are good it won't be our last. Be there for her, help her to look for help if she needs it. She will have good days and bad days, celebrate the good ones and ride out the bad ones. I wish you and her all the best as you deal with it, take care, Laurie.

Thinking of your own well-being should always be your first instinct, although I can understand how that can go in a different direction when dealing with a loved one's emotional problems. It is normal to feel you are not doing enough or being selfish, especially if you hold on to the belief that it is somehow in your power to get your sister out of the depression. She will walk on her journey, and you are there to accompany her - but you cannot walk this journey in her place... I don't have any advice for you, but I hope I was able to clarify the source of some of the feelings you're experiencing. Remember, you are there to help your sister (because you want to) but you must find where it is that your are 'not' in her story - and rejoice in finding out where the line is drawn between her depression and your life: you might find that your freedom lies in this. Also, keep in mind the depression hasn't taken over your sister's power, it is only a crisis and hopefully it will pass in its own time whilst making her stronger. Be happy you can be there for her in as much as you can - that you can be there for her is already a gift and I am sure she feels your presence is enough.
Lovingly, Irina from Montreal!

Of course it's ok to think of your own well-being! It's very sweet of you to be there for your sister and to support her through this difficult time. But you can't just drop everything that's going on in your own life. You must find a way to be there for her at certain times, but also continue with your own life or you'll end up getting depressed too. I'm sure your sister wouldn't want you to give up everything to be with her all day. Ask other relatives or friends to look out for her as well. You're not being selfish at all, time apart from her also gives you the chance to clear your mind. You can't really be of any help to her unless you help yourself first and keep your own life in order. Be there for her when she truly needs you, but make sure you get enough personal "me" time as well. Good luck! Amanda.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

September 26, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 2 October.

Lately I've been feeling something strange. I haven't told anyone out of fear of sounding weird or dumb. Seeing people my age (I'm 18) who are famous and very successful (such as Lorde or Harry Styles) makes me wish I could have the success or happiness that they have. I've been feeling like because I am not famous, my life won't feel as significant or awesome, and I won't be able to do all of the cool things they get to do. Have you ever felt this? I'm curious to see your answer. Thank you. Gabby, USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
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September 19, 2014 / submitted by Aubrey, Australia
I have been through a lot of depressing stuff lately, a lot has been going wrong in my life. I don't know who I am anymore, and my personality has changed for the worse. I've been really depressed. My school life is terrible, my grades are going downhill rapidly, and I don't get on with my family, I'm the odd one out. All my friends have said they hate me now, after a false rumor was spread about me. I only ever let my feelings out in my writing and drawing, as well as when I play my guitar. I love all of Coldplay's songs, they really express how I feel a lot of the time. You see, I had a boyfriend, secretly, but my parents found out about it and are preventing me from seeing him again. I didn't get to say goodbye, or even explain why I'm not talking to him, it was all so sudden. I'm scared of what he thinks of me, but I couldn't help it. I miss him a lot in my life, he was the only person who understood me. Do you have any encouraging thoughts for me? Thank you.

Growing up can be tough. There are a lot of changes to navigate through. You sometimes have to make decisions that you don't feel ready for and life can be overwhelming. Whether it's academic or personal, when you're going through puberty, you may not be aware that your hormones are also raging. They don't help matters!
The good news is it doesn't last and that almost everyone your age will be experiencing similar things.
Kids can be cruel (oh, there's bad news - so can adults) but you don't have to put up with bullying.
Your creativity serves as an excellent outlet to expel your frustrations and unhappiness. Keep on expressing your feelings in this way but I think you need to talk to people too.
Speak to a teacher about the rumours - they should be able to help in some way. Maybe there's a school counsellor you can also make an appointment with.
Talk to your 'friends' and put your side of the story across. If they don't listen, get new friends, as they're not worth your time.
You also need to speak with your parents. They were your age once and maybe they forget that sometimes as they try to do what they think is best for you. They may find it hard to accept you're growing up. If you feel unable to discuss how you feel, write them a letter.
I think you should also write your boyfriend a letter to explain what happened but at this point, respect your parents' decision to not see him until a time you have had a conversation with them.
Tell them he's your closest friend and you'd like them to meet him. Try to appeal to their younger selves that hopefully still lie within them somewhere.
Remember, they are trying to protect you, not punish you. Talking to them about how you feel in a calm, mature manner may help them see things from your view.
If you're ever a Mum, you may understand their side one day too.
It's hard work to keep up good grades when there's other stuff going on but try hard to focus on your studies.
Sometimes when bad things happen, we see everything through negative eyes and suddenly it feels like the world is against us and everything is going wrong when in fact, it can all be fixed.
One step at a time, deal with each problem. Write a list and go through it systematically.
Things can get better but it will take effort. Don't give up.
Over to you.

I understand when you say music, writing and drawing are the things that allow you to express your feelings. I used to have a lot of problems and music was one of the things that kept me sane.

I really think it would be helpful if you considered seeking some professional help. In my case, it wasn't until I started therapy that I got to understand many of my problems, their causes, and that I was finally able to learn how to deal with them and even solve them. It takes a lot of work, because you are confronted with many things of your past, but along the way, you learn a lot about yourself: why you act in a certain way, why you see the world the way you do, why you react in a certain way sometimes. Changing for better is possible if you are committed to it and work hard for it. I also have a friend that struggles with depression (he has a medical condition), so it's very important for you to seek for help sooner than later, so you can start taking back the control of your life.
As for your parents, the only thing I can tell you is there are some periods in life when we don't understand them and they don't understand us, but that doesn't mean you don't care about each other and that your relationship is never gonna be good. I can make you sure of that. So try to understand their point of view and to objectively see what reasons they could have not to accept your boyfriend.
Hope it all goes well. Noelia, Argentina.

That is such a horrible experience to go through Aubrey, and unfortunately I understand what you are going through. Through my struggles with loneliness, isolation, family issues, and others, I have learned through it all that if you are able to keep going through pain and keep marching on, it gives you character and courage, and those things will help you through anything in life. Keep playing your guitar and drawing and writing. If you are able to find a way to turn your depression into something beautiful, it is a gift and it is a wonderful one. In my opinion, if your ex-boyfriend meant that much to you, your parents should let you two be together. Just tell them all he has done for you and a good person should understand and let love prevail. Love and happiness in your life outside of school will hopefully change your life in school for the better. So keep making beautiful things, fight for your love and just keep going on with life, and it is ok to be depressed sometimes because it shows you don't bottle up your emotions (which is really bad to do) so feel what you feel but don't let it destroy your own life. Happiness, Love, and Healing, three words to think about at the end of this. I hope you take my advice into consideration Aubrey and I wish you love, happiness, and luck in this world
Catherine, Connecticut.

The best thing you can do now since you are suffering from depression is to seek professional help. That's the best thing you have to do right now.. You see, being depressed is really not healthy for someone it may cause harmful effects to your body, and that's the first thing that I want to advice to you. About your friends, if they believed with all the fake rumors that spreading about you, then they are not your real friends. Because, real friends don't believed in other people's words they'll believe in your words. And about your parents have you asked them why they are so against with your boyfriend? If not then asked them, I believed that parents wants only the best for their kids. And to your boyfriend, I think it's best if you'll tell him why you're not seeing him anymore so he'll know your current situation and what your parents think of him. And when he knew about it, maybe he can man up and tell your parents that he has good intentions towards you. Hope this helps. I wish you nothing but the best in the world! Love, Shaine from Philippines. Xxo

I'm sorry that you feel this way but keep your head up! At some point everyone feels lost one way or another. You are not alone even though it might seem that way. If you feel like you can't talk to anybody you know about this, I would suggest you seek counsel with a professional. It could be a psychologist or a counsellor at your school, just know that there is no shame in seeking help, it only means you are strong. Stouie.

This sounds very hard. I am not going through the same but can relate to you. Last week it seems everything came at once, very stressful and I have been very depressed too. I listened to much Coldplay during these weeks.
Please don't be too shy to ask for help. Maybe in school a teacher to trust.
If you don't feel comfort in your family anymore, ask if you can go to a boarding school or something like this.
Changing your school might be helpful.
Well I don't know your age but you could search help at a psychologist.
You play guitar and play Coldplay songs on it. Go for it, get better and better and maybe this is your chance to break out of this life you live now. If you could play in public for example.
Or in writing, maybe you could write a book.
Nothing lasts forever - neither the worse days in your life. It's hard to believe it, I know cause of self-experience.
Wish you all the best. Maren.

I understand that it is very difficult to get away from the people you love because it also happened to me, my sister also had a boyfriend in secret and when my parents knew it it punished a long time I guess it's almost the same thing that happens to you but don't let that affect you too at school advise of demonstrate you to your parents with your grades that you deserve to have more freedom in your life and maybe so they understand because you want to be with your boyfriend. If you worry that he does not know the reason why you drifted from it I think it means as happened all things and when everything had all it will be as before. Best of luck in all Aubrey a hug from Argentina on the part of Daniela.

The positive part of your story is that you realize your having some problems with your attitude, so try to make some changes. My first suggestion is to remember every good thing you have done. I'm sure you have succeed in many aspects what it means you are not a complete failure. In the case of your relationship with your family, keep in mind that they'll be there for you anytime you need them. Don't get frustrated if they don't agree with you. Just listen to them patiently, what they say might be true because parents are more experienced than we are. As we get older, we realize how true their advices and comments were. In the case of your friends, I believe that sometimes it is better to stay alone than to be with someone who doesn't trust in you. It hurts I know, it happened to me. My friends started to believe in others rather than in me. I didn't explain them anything. I just treated them like anyone else with respect. They realized by themselves that I wasn't the kind of person they thought I was and they changed their attitude. My last suggestion is to keep writing your thoughts, the good ones and the bad ones. That help you to express what you feel. Talk is a good song to listen to. It encourages me to express what I keep on my mind. Best wishes, Isabel.

I'm sorry to hear things haven't been working out the way you'd hoped lately. You're going to a rough time right now and nothing I say will make you instantly feel better, because everyone experiences moments in their lives where they feel like things are going downhill for a while. But I do know one thing though, things will get better! Trust me they will. Talk to your parents about how your boyfriend made you happy, be open and honest with them and ask them to give him a fair chance. Find the time to talk to your boyfriend and let him know what happened. Tell your friends the rumor was false, talk things out with them. There's lots of forums on the internet filled with people who also love to draw, write and play the guitar, maybe you could try talking to them and share your creativity with them. It feels good to share you're passions with others in that way and it might make you feel better too. And don't forget, you're not alone in this. Good luck! Amanda

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

September 19, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 25 September.

I've been going through a beautiful but also rather tough time this summer. My little sister developed a depression and hasn't been the same lately and although I'm positive about it and know it'll be alright again I sometimes feel guilty for departing from her because it affects me so much and it's hard finding energy every day to help her. I'm scared of being selfish! To which extent is it okay to think of my own well-being?
Thank you in advance,
Francis, Germany.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

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September 12, 2014 / submitted by Benny, United States of America
How can I help my older brother stop smoking? He has been smoking for about 3 years and does it moderately at home. I've told my parents and they have tried to make him stop but since he is in his twenties they can't make him do anything. I find lighters and stuff when I go into his room, but I'm too scared to do anything or confront him about it. And whenever I see those commercials with lung cancer patients...
I just want to help him.

It's a simple answer, you can't. I'm afraid that as an adult he can make his choices - good or bad for his health, notwithstanding what his family think.
As he still lives at home with your parents, I do think that what they say should count as house rules, but he could still smoke outside so it won't solve your problem.
Don't be scared to confront your brother because it's great that you care so much. Be gentle with your approach because he could likely tell you to mind your own business and be defensive about the concern mistaking it for intrusion.
I don't see anything wrong with explaining what you're worried about but don't expect any changes. Maybe in time you brother will cone to his own conclusion that smoking is bad for your health - as well as your wallet. As an ex smoker, I'm amazed anyone can afford to smoke! Finances aside, I can also tell you that like most addictions, smoking is a hard habit to break.
If he wanted to stop my answer would be very different. I truly believe the key to stopping is wanting to stop. It has to come from your brother, as I doubt he'd stop just because someone asked / told him to but hey, you never know. Better to try to talk to him and fail than not try at all.
Over to you.

I also have my experiences with smokers. Smokers smoke because of stress or because they're addicted to it (or both). There is 1 thing you can take away: the stress. When you talk to him, stay calm. This will make it easier for both of you.
The first time you talk to him he'll probably refuse to stop. You have to accept that. Wait a while, and then confront him again. You can repeat this, but not too much. If he simply can't stop, help him search to an alternative. There are lot's of things to help people quit or to replace smoking. Cigarettes on electricity, for example, or chewing gum. Both of them are free of poison, CO, etc.
I hope this answer will hep your brother to quit.

My daughter smoked so I know how you feel. I also smoked until I found ecigs. I stopped smoking cigarettes completely and since then have been dropping the nicotine level in my eliquid. I am now down to almost zero. I've introduced my daughter to ecigs and she has also stopped cigarettes. I mix my own liquids so I have complete control over the nicotine level, I mix for her too and she doesn't know yet I've been dropping her levels, she hasn't noticed the difference! My advice to you would be to maybe buy your brother one as a present and see what he thinks. He has to be ready to change though, so don't be too disappointed if he doesn't show much interest to start with, just planting the idea in his head may have to be sufficient for now. Don't pressure him, that will just annoy him, tell him how much less ecigs cost too, that might help... Good luck
Tanya UK.

First thing, can I just say you're such a loving and very sweet kind of sibling to your brother. I know you're really concern about your brother but I think cigarettes is one of the bad habits that adults/young adults that can't be avoided at this moment. Well... I think the best thing you can do is you yourself tell your brother how you feel every time you see him smoke, (since you said that he won't listen to your parents) maybe this is now the right time for you to have courage to say that you are really concern for him smoking. Maybe this time to you as a younger bro. he'll listen. You could ask him out for a brother-to-brother bonding and little by little you can open up to him that you really are concern and scared for his health and tell him how much you love him and you don't want him to lose early that's why you want him to quit from smoking. Or you could just tell him every day the bad effects of cigarettes in the body even if he gets mad for convincing him real hard. Until he finally decides to give it up. I'm pretty sure your brother will soon understand and will stop from smoking. Hope this helps! Best of Luck! Love, Shaine from Philippines.

I understand you care about your brother and want the best for him, but, as you already know, he is an adult: he's old enough to make his own decisions. Even though sometimes they might not be the best ones - from your point of view - that's up to him.
But the most important thing here is that you're worrying too much about a remote possibility. You said it yourself: your brother smokes moderately. Although it may be harmful, smoking doesn't necessarily imply developing cancer. There are a lot of people who smoke for years and, though their physical condition may not be the best, they are fine. My mum is an example of that: she was a smoker for 20 years. She really used to smoke A LOT and she's just fine.
The only thing you can ask your brother is not to smoke indoors or while you are nearby. Cigarette smoke is annoying, not to mention the smell that sticks to your hair and clothes. I'm sure he will respect that request. Don't worry about him smoking a lot outside your home. People who smoke a lot, smoke a lot everywhere. They are never moderate.
Love from Argentina. Noelia.

Have a peaceful and loving attitude, tell him how you feel and how it is hurting not only him but the loved ones around him. tell him how there are so many better things in life and help him to find something he enjoys more than smoking. Malachi.

Here's the thing you can't make him stop.
He is the one that has to make the decision.
The only thing you can do is to say that your really worried about him.
And that you want to help him. Don't be scared to tell him how you feel when you see those commercials.
Maybe even show him that you made this email to The Oracle. Because you just want to help him.
I don't think he will ignore you, at certain points he will think about what you said.
And he might realise how unhealthy it is and you are worried about him.
Greetings, Luc.

So, your brother can't stop smoking and you're troubled in looking for a way out? If it comes about cigarettes, then progress is the answer.
People mostly chose to smoke with a reason. It's not about that he's in his 20s or anything, there is a high probability that he's having a major problem and he decided to keep it. Try to talk more with him, share stories and thoughts about it. Then, ask him to stop. This can be the hardest part but like I said above, progress is the main solution here. Slowly but surely I'm very certain that he'll stop smoking!
Now, regarding your brother's age, the longer your brother stays with his habit the aftermath will be even more painful in the future.
Wish everything the best for you, your family, and especially your brother!
Cheers, Josh.

I happen to have a friend who smokes. I talked to him about it and asked him what made him start, and tried to understand what makes him so attached to it. Some people are attached to cigarettes because of the physical moves they make when smoking, (i.e, holding the cigarette, blowing out the smoke, etc.), for others it's, of course, the nicotine. Try to talk to him and don't be afraid, fear is 50% of failure all the time. Approach him gently and in a friendly manner. Sit him down and talk about it as much as he likes. Don't lead the conversation, make him do that. Just try to understand what it is that's making him this way. You also have to get the help of someone he is really close to, like his girlfriend or best friend. Make them also talk to him. I'm sure with all your effort you will get him to at least cut down. Remember, its a journey of patience and support. You're an amazing sibling. Solaf.

As a previous smoker myself, I recently quit a year ago, it makes it MUCH harder when you have family harassing you about quitting. My mom harassed me every time she saw me. I know that family only does it because they care, but from personal experience, it only makes it worse for the person who is smoking. The best thing that a family member can do is bet there to support them. The only time that quitting smoking will be successful is if the person really wants to quit. This is my FOURTH attempt to quit, and the longest time I have gone without going back to it. I smoked from the time I was 15 to 32. It's not easy so when that day comes that your brother does want to quit smoking he will need lots of support and understanding, especially if he has a bump and goes back to smoking. It may not happen the first time or the second. What people don't get is that it's not as easy as you think it is. Just please try to support your brother as much as you can. Rosalie.

First off, I think it's nice that you want to help your brother out and I understand you want him to do the healthy thing and stop smoking. But in the end it's his own decision. As you said he's in his twenties, so you can't make him stop or help him stop if he doesn't want to. My dad used to smoke a lot too, until we took him to the 'Body Worlds Exhibition' one day. Where, amongst other things, they show you the difference between a smokers and non-smokers lung. It scared the living daylights out of him and he stopped smoking the next day. Maybe you could take your brother there sometime? Good luck! Amanda.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.