442 oracle items tagged as team oracle
January 16, 2015 / submitted by Anonymous, United Kingdom
I am currently suffering with depression. Often when I am going through a tough spot I don't know who to turn to and often wish I had some sort of chat room to access. Could you help me to find a website in which this would be possible? Thank you.

I never read other Team Oracle replies until I have written my answer so I don't know if anyone has suggested any but I'd feel reluctant to recommend forums or online chat rooms that I haven't got first-hand experience of, even if I researched the topic extensively.
I'm sure there are a plethora of online communities that would probably give you what you seek but that's something you'd have to try and see what works for you.
I don't know what your local area is like but where I live, you can find similar information via community notice boards, local libraries and even in shop windows.
Personally, I propose you initially speak with your doctor as they may be able to offer you counselling through the practice. They may also know of support groups. I know speaking face to face is hard but it's another option.
Whatever you do, you got in touch here so I know you can take the next step.
I wish you luck.

I know exactly how you feel because this is the kind of stuff I had to go through before my miraculous recovery, which to this day leaves me baffled (thanks Coldplay). Anyhow, I don't know many chatrooms that are actually beneficial because most of them just depress you more, and I won't even begin to talk about seeking medical attention, because I know how much it used to get on my nerves when someone spoke of this. If you really need to talk to someone, I am always here to offer a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on. You can always email me if you feel like it at (*EDIT: Anon, please contact me for Solaf's email address if you want it). Lots of love, Solaf.

Firstly I would like to say that you should seek for professional help and talk to your family and close people. I hope you did it or you'll do it soon. If you feel depressed you should check if it is serious before it becomes too serious.
I suggest you to do sports to energize and empower your body and mind.
I found some chatrooms, I hope it helps you: here, here and here.
My e-mail is: (*EDIT: Again, please contact me for Kamili's email address) if you want to contact me.
I wish you the best and often remember these lyrics:
"In the darkness, before the dawn, in the darkness, before the dawn, leave a light, a light on, leave a light, a light on."
Love, Kamili.

Depression has gotten a bad rap, and there's no shame if you suffer from it. I also suffer from it, and I have to take medicine for it. Meds have a bad rap and shouldn't because they can and do help.
I've discovered that when I really feel down and depressed, I'm really anxious and worried about something. Anxiety and depression tend to go together.
I'm not fond of chat rooms because you don't know the people in them. This is why I love Twitter and Coldplay. If you follow the nice people on Twitter, they are kind enough to ask about you and protect you from bullies, who are on there. I love to listen to many of Coldplay's songs but O is my go to song when I am stressed out.
I don't chat with my friends all of the time on Twitter which is a sign that I'm down and stressed out. People know me well enough to ask if I'm ok. You can also send direct messages to people that no one else sees. It's not perfect but it works for me. Music also helps me a lot.
There is no reason to feel embarrassed about depression and anxiety. It happens to so many of us. I have talked many people out of suicide. You were put here for a reason, and you matter to many people who would be lost without you. I wish you luck and love because I know how you feel.
Sincerely, Cat

I understand exactly what you are going through. I also suffer from depression and often feel alone and like I have nobody to talk to. I have found some comfort in discussing my issues with friends that I have met through both Twitter and Instagram. I would love to help you out and even make a new friend so please feel free to email me at (*EDIT: Again, please contact me for Tamara's email address). I would love to talk to you and we could try to help each other out. Hope the Oracle replies help you out pal.

I know what you feel and I know how you feel because I'm suffering of depression for like 3 years now.
It's hard to hide it because sometimes you have mask after mask to cover the real you. There are many places where you can find consolation, I often find mine on Instagram or on Tumblr. I think you know about the community that is on Tumblr, people that have no idea who you are or how you look like help you and support you. Sometimes people that you'll probably never see face to face deserve a place in your heart.
And about depression, well it's hard, but I want you to be strong and never give up.
If life would be easy, we wouldn't do it right. Someone, I don't know who, I like to believe it's God, but everyone with his or her beliefs, made us. That person brought us here for a reason, that reason can be a great one, like to be rock stars or maybe just to have a family and live happily ever after.
Life is a gift that was given to you and you have to turn it into the most beautiful and extraordinary experience and to live long and to be happy and to love with all your heart.
I'll make a deal with you, if you promise me to fight, I'll do the same, because together we are stronger than anything!!
Remember that you are not alone and that we are always here for you and we will always be!
Love from Romania! Madalina.

I read your question and could instantly relate to it. When I went through severe depression last spring, I wanted to retreat from everyone and everything I knew loved or cared about. I really feel the need to caution against a chat room. While you may feel more comfortable talking online to a stranger, please consider this, depression messes with our thought process. Everything is huge, nothing is insignificant and in that state of mind, we can easily be driven further and deeper into sorrow by a misguided thought. It is easy to misread tones and inflections in a chat room.
A better choice may be a helpline or a mental health professional who will help you understand what led to this and keep you safe as you come out of it. If a peer chat room is what you are still looking for exercise caution and find one you feel safest in, because there are so many. Maybe look for one associated with a mental health group or professionals. This is not an arena for amateurs. Depression is serious. It has many causes and may need a variety of treatments. You have done the brave first step to admit you have a problem. I wish you every success as you deal with this, take care, Laurie.

First of all - it's a good thing you're trying to reach out, rather than keeping all the difficult stuff to yourself. It shows you want to get through this hard time - which is an important precondition. I can relate to the feeling of wanting to talk to someone, but not knowing who to turn to. The thing is - there are so many amazing, helpful people and organizations in this world, you just have to know where to find them. Which, sadly, often isn't easy. There's a UK-based charity I haven't contacted myself (among other things because I'm from Germany and I don't know if their service is for non-UK-citizens), but a friend of mine told me about them. It is called Samaritans - You can call them 24/7, or write an e-mail, or visit them at one of their branches. They are lending a sympathetic ear to anyone who contacts them, who's struggling with some kind of trouble - including those with mental health issues. The people there are no psychologists, though (most of them are volunteers, I think) - but I hope you already have a therapist anyway?! They 'just' listen and try to help you cope with the situation. As I said, I don't have personal experience with Samaritans, but they helped a friend, and the things they write on their website sound very good, so maybe it's worth giving it a try. All the best & positive vibes :) Katharina.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's milestone 200th question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

January 16, 2015 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 22 January.

I and my creative endeavors have been rejected quite a bit throughout my life and I've had trouble moving on from the rejection. I'm wondering how to keep believing in myself, despite the opposition? How do I stay confident? Amber.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

January 9, 2015 / submitted by Joel, United States of America
I'm in a very difficult position being seniors in high school - we are almost going into the real world. I am honestly scared, I know what I want to do but it's relying on one thing and if I don't make it I'm scared I'm not gonna be able to do anything.
Have you ever felt like this if so how did you deal with it?

Firstly, stop worrying - that won't help you. Secondly, you're not alone - there are thousands of people who share similar thoughts at this milestone junction of your life. Thirdly, the fact you know what you want to do at this stage is a very good thing.

It's understandable that you feel apprehension about moving from the comfort zone of school to the next phase. You probably felt nervous on your first day of school. It's natural for us to feel nervous when we start something new.
I can honestly say I haven't really felt like this. I tend to take risks and believe they will come to fruition. If they don't, so what? If I tried & failed, I would give something else a go. There's no guarantee you'll love the path you have chosen. I had an entirely different career 20 years ago. I decided it wasn't for me and made the change. Life's one big adventure and it'd be dull if predictable.
Embrace the challenges and tackle them head on but only when they present themselves. Remember, there is absolutely no point worrying about something that has happened and may never happen. It's a total waste of time and energy and may attract negative things.
Keep positive and try your hardest in the field you have chosen. It's ok to fail. Failing is usually the start of great success.
Over to you.

I'm a senior in college and I have to admit that I'm scared of entering the real world too. I'm afraid of making mistakes, which is something that will inevitably happen as I'm a human being.
My first advice: Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, and stop being afraid of failure. You have to be aware of your own skills, of your talents, and trust them. Then work hard to achieve your goals. When you start doubting your skills or your own potential, you become an obstacle for yourself. The fear of failure is something that will paralyse you and stop you from developing your potential, from showing the world what you can do and from learning from your own mistakes. That's something I can tell based on my own experience.
My second advice: If things don't turn out the way you wanted, it doesn't mean you are a failure or that you won't eventually get to the place you want to be in. Sometimes things don't turn out the way we want in a specific moment, but most of the time it's just what we need so we can learn some valuable lessons. Don't ever think everything is lost just because you didn't have success at the first try. You have to keep in mind there's not only one way to get to a certain place.
So don't panic. Work hard. Trust yourself (even though you're scared and full of doubts). And always have faith. Noelia, Argentina.

All what I am about to say can be summarised into three words- go for it. But in further detail, I would like to tell you that you are so young and life awaits. You shouldn't be scared to do things because the only thing you will ever be regretting is missed opportunities. Sure you can mess up, once, twice, even several times but that's life's way of teaching you how to do it right. Always go after what you want and put blood and tears into everything you're passionate about because my parents made the mistake of not seizing opportunities given to them and now four have to suffer because of decisions of two. Joel please do not give up, I know you're able and always will be. Love, Solaf.

As a Freshman in college, I know exactly how you feel because I was just there myself. I was worried sick about what would happen after high school. I was terrified of "the real world" and if I'd make it to where I wanted to go. The world outside of high school seemed frightening and I was horrified of what was to come.

The frightening world that I had been told of and had scared myself into believing didn't even exist. The real world and college were not even close to how scary I had imagined, and as a matter of fact, they were better than high school! Yes, there are responsibilities that you aren't used to having and it's not easy, but it's not terrifying. You have more independence and people treat you like an adult. It's wonderful.
As for worrying about if you'll make it, don't burden yourself with the fear of failing. Fight for what you want to achieve, seek help, and do your very best. Picture yourself succeeding. Head to the light. If you truly work at it, you'll make it. Even if you don't, you went down fighting (and it may be a sign that perhaps your true path lies elsewhere). I was scared of losing, too, and now I've been accepted on a research abroad project and I'm doing what I want to do.
Seek opportunities and work hard wherever you go and you will accomplish your dreams. Don't lose hope. Brooke.

Happy New Year, Joel! What a wonderful start!
The fact that you've made the choice to take the step of sharing your fears with us, just goes to show how very brave you truly are.
In taking this step, you've already broken down walls of what tried to fence you in... so, BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVE-O!
You're not alone in experiencing trepidation about growing up and 'making a mark' in the world... but by being the only 'you' on the planet, you will always make indellible marks. Now your email will help others. I'd say that's a beautifully powerful and visual Joel-shaped impression.
Congratulations on identifying an element to fulfilling your dream!
I've learnt (and am still learning) that there are usually lots, and your unique journey actually relies on a combination of them... which is great, because with collaboration, the pressure lessens, and precious lessons unfold.
In my life, fear has been tied up with expectation, especially my own, constructed ideas.
Things changed when I sat down with my dream/s and, literally, mapped as many things associated with the route/s, as possible.
It was fun to do and exhilirating to see what my life could (and continues to) be... I hung it on my wall for focus and inspiration!
So, I encourage you to take that heart, filled with passion, guts and determination for your mission and I'd like to add my faith in you, to the mix.
Yours, in total belief in you, Heart Not Garment. x

My friend Joel I would like to tell you that what you are feeling is every grownup's problem. You know I faced the same problem few years ago, as I have always wanted to be a doctor and I really didn't knew what to do if i couldn't join the Med school. But you know what, I found out it is not the end of the world if I couldn't, You just have to be flexible and keep up with whatever life offers you. Haven't you ever thought that what you want to do may not be the best thing for you and life may carry something much better for you !! You might find yourself to be the most successful guy in another field you have never thought of. Life is frightful and if you didn't feel frightened then you are doing something wrong. Welcome to real life, it is so scary but you are going to love it.
Dalia, Egypt.

"Life is what you make it." It's funny how five words have such a meaning. If it was not for these words, I would be close to dead. It is up to you to change yourself. To become what you desire. I was witness to my best friend trying to commit suicide. As a result, I have suffered from post traumatic stress. I've lost my best friends. A year of my life has been screwed up. Without Coldplay's music, I don't know where I would be. What I'm trying to say is, do not let ANYTHING ruin what YOU want. You are the person standing in the way. You can do whatever you want to. You know why? "Cause you're a Sky Full of Stars."
If it helped me, it will help you. Cliona.

I've had exactly the same situation and what's the worst, my parents were against my choice and my decision. But I was determined to do it and I put in my best effort,so I succeeded. If you work for it 24 hours a day, you'll probably make it, but if you don't, you can wait for it until next year. At least you know what you really want and be happy because of that. Many people don't have their real passion and choice, they just do it by case or because of money. I know people that tried 3-6 times before they got in to some college/profession they like. Give yourself time and patience but do everything you can. For me the most important is to do over my maximum, then I'm less worried about the result because I know I couldn't do more. Also consider similar professions for a case that you don't make it. I'm sure there are a lot of opportunities in USA. I really know how's to want just one thing and nothing else, but now I see that there are also other things that I could do and study. Just try to be open and take wide point of view.
I think that the most important thing is to know what your passion is, you'll always live it in your heart and find a way to do it in your life. Good luck, Kamili.

You are about to find out that life can be very interesting when you become an adult. I thought that I had everything figured out when I started college, and little did I know how different my life would be. I met and married the love of my life when I was in the college band. I was quite young. Luckily, he was graduating as an engineer.
I was able to go back to college and eventually got a nursing degree that I really didn't use because I had a set of twins. I stayed at home with them; however, my degree wasn't wasted because I used it to take care of them and other sick family members.
I would say that the most important thing that I learned about life is that you have to be flexible and change with each situation. I have had other jobs that I loved more than I did nursing. I have to be flexible with twins because they come first. Life is a journey, and you just have to follow it. Sometimes, you end up on paths that take you to totally different places than you thought that you'd be.
So, quit worrying and follow the path that you are supposed to take. You can do it.
Sincerely, Cat.

I hope the one thing you're counting on for plans, isn't measured by the moment. People start post high school dreams throughout their life. AmeriCorps volunteering caregiving or blogging can give you respite, and time to prepare further recommendations of your qualities and work habits. These usually lead to grant opportunities, including new outlooks of opportunity. Following work time or volunteering you might want to look into an Outward Bound program or Sierra club expedition. When you narrow down your passions, you may may find that there will be more supporters than ever realized. Please calm your anxiety and know there are people who need to be cared for as well, and some caring for others like you is what they do best! Susan

I know you're scared, I am too. I have one year and a half til I finish highschool and I've already started to freak out.
Yes, I am scared of what comes next, I'm scared of being grown up, I am scared of this world.
But I'll tell you a secret, fear makes us all superheroes. Yes, it's true, fear is not only a weakness, it is also a superpower that can make you run faster, that can make you smarter and impossible, but impossible not in a bad way, but in a good way. Life is hard and complicated and twisted, trust me I know from my experience even though I'm only 17, but when something ends, like highschool in our cases, it is not the end, it's the start of something new, something complicated as life itself, something impossibly impossible.
Please remember these words when you'll feel that fear again and turn yourself into a superhero, because a superhero is the one that can change the world for real and forever.
I hope my answer helped. Love from Romania!!

Everyone goes through rough patches in which they are confused about the future and where life will take them. As a current freshman in college, I was in your same predicament a year ago, and I can tell you firsthand that although it may seem like there is no hope, it gets so much better.
I applied to college as a pre-med student; however after taking science classes, I realized that I simply was not designed to become a doctor. We all have a calling in life and by exploring different subject areas, we can find our true passion. For example, by simply enrolling in an introductory psychology class on a whim, I was able to discover my fate.
There are billions of job opportunities in the world and there is something for everyone. You may have your heart set on one specific thing now, but think about all the opportunities you are losing out on by not even trying to explore other options. Don't let anyone tell you what or who you should be. Follow your own path and do what you truly love.
Being nervous about approaching 'the real world" is not only normal, but also healthy. It shows that you have drive, a determination that will make you successful, no matter where life takes you. Adulthood is a roller coaster, but everything always works out the way it should be. Keep your head up, think positively, and don't let anything get in the way of your goals.
Much love, Ashley from New York.

My mom always told me to 'never bet on just one horse' it's a Dutch saying which doesn't really translate well into English (* It does! The Oracle). But what it means is that you should not let important events in your life depend on just one thing. Have faith in yourself and trust that you will achieve your goal/dream, but also make sure you have other options available to you in case you don't. A back-up plan of sorts. I'm sure that if you really think about it and stop focusing on telling yourself that you won't be able to do anything if you don't 'make' whatever 'it' is, you'll find new things you haven't thought of before that you are good at and will make you equally happy. I always wanted to become an event manager, but it turned out I couldn't pass the obligatory mathematics assessment. For a while I was devastated of course. I was lost and decided to ask help from a career advisor. It turned out it was way easier than I thought to find other things I'm good at and enjoy doing. After only 3 meetings I found a completely different study that I wanted to follow. I'm in my final year now and I'm still happy with my decision, no regrets whatsoever. Many ways lead to Rome, don't be scared just wait and see were life leads you. Amanda.

I do know that feeling. The leap from the home nest of youth to actually having to participate as an autonomous adult is a big one. Trepidation is normal - plan on encountering it many more times in your life. Best thing to do is not let the daunting prospect of what lays ahead cripple you. Let it motivate you to action. I'm pretty sure I recall Chris saying in an interview that he was taught it helps to take the butterflies before a performance and imagine it as a fire burning in your belly. That's good advice. It changes the energy from chaotic to grounded, channeled & incorporated. Take the "Whoa!" with the 'What ifs?" and channel it into "Let's do this." Though in the end one's life will have taken a singular long and winding road, each step is made up of one decision plucked out of a set of options at one point in time while traveling the Path of Life. Life is a Labyrinth and the destination is always the Center. It's impossible to have the future sorted now, or any time. I recommend you learn everything you can about a subject that intrigues you, in or out of school. It won't bore you; quite the opposite. Your research will inspire ideas which you can then bring into reality. Do it well & eventually you will be a well-seasoned person of specialized interests that people will seek out for your skills.
Fly, Branwen.

I feel your pain Joel, I just finished high school in October and it really is scary going out into the real world! Just keep in mind that your dreams don't have an expiration date, you have your whole life to achieve them! You might have to start out small, and sometimes it may feel like you're getting no where, but you'll get there in the end. You just have to work hard for it, and remember opportunities won't fall into your lap! Thinking about the future that way, makes it a whole lot less terrifying for me anyway! Sam.

You have to believe in yourself, you have to believe in your dreams. If this is what you want to do, just go for it and have faith in it and in the fact that it is possible, because it is. Anything is possible - this is really true. If you believe that it will happen, then it will happen. Never doubt it. Be positive no matter what and if some people try to discourage you, believe in that even more. If you think positive, positive things will get to you. Always keep that in mind. Anything is possible, you just have to believe.
Sending you Love. You'll get through that, don't worry.

I really do get where you're coming from, Joel. I, too, have absolutely no idea what I want to do in the future, and you can feel pressurised to decide before you feel like you're ready. But, the thing is, you don't have to decide. As long as go down the route of something you enjoy, everything will fall into place. I also believe in having faith in your future self. As Chris himself once said, everything that is happening to you is supposed to be happening to you, so just relax. Amanda.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

January 9, 2015 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 15 January.

I am currently suffering with depression. Often when I am going through a tough spot I don't know who to turn to and often wish I had some sort of chat room to access. Could you help me to find a website in which this would be possible? Thank you. Anonymous, UK.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

January 2, 2015 / submitted by Emily, Mexico
What do you think is the most important thing in life?? What keeps you going, what is the thing that makes life worth living? I've been depressed since a long time ago and I think I don't have idea of what makes life worth living and I'd like to ask you for some advice. Take care.

Happiness. For me, being happy is the most important thing. That's not to say it's an easy thing to come by but once you work out what and who makes you happy, chase that.
Life IS worth living because it's a wonderful adventure even if there are terrible times - some that cannot be avoided - but those times make you appreciate the good even more.
I'd also like to say that health, love (not necessarily being in love) and friendship are very important to me.
I set myself new challenges and fill my life with goals & plans. I spend time doing what I like with people I like. As you get older, you realise you can cut the driftwood and surround yourself with the things and people that matter.
I do think that it's vital to be charitable and kind to people too. Whether volunteering time or money to a cause or to speak out / up for those that need a voice - it's good for the soul.
There is a big difference between feeling low or lost and depression. I advise you to get a diagnosis if you are indeed depressed.
If you're feeling blue, I suggest you get motivated by finding something you believe in - campaigning, education, eating healthily, getting fit, a new hobby or learn a new skill - whatever it is, the start of a new year is always a good time to look forward. Time is precious so spend it wisely.
Over to you.

This question really hits hard. It takes me back, a year back to be exact. As everyone who frequently reads Team Oracle threads knows, I used to struggle with depression, and it wasn't easy getting back up. To cut this short, there are two main reasons I am still soldiering on. One is the mere existence of Coldplay. They always know what to say, its like they are always around as-I don't know-spirits or something. There's always a Coldplay song that beautifully captures every moment of my life. The second thing is that I have a dream I am chasing. I am hoping to become a singer/musician when I grow older because, well, my passion for music is big as I would categorise myself under the "poetic altrusit" type. I know anything is possible, and Coldplay will always be living proof of that. Solaf.

There are many things worth living for. Maybe family or friends or even the love of your life. I know how you feel because I feel the same. But trust me when I tell you, it is not the end of the world, it will never be even if the sky is falling and you think all hope is gone. I'll tell you a secret, a secret a wise man once told me: "We are made of star dust, we are unique in this universe and there will never be someone like us, not even in a billion billion years."
So, even if you feel unloved and unappreciated, remember that you are so special and important and nothing should stop your life from being extraordinary, nothing should stop your beauty from existing.
Live long and make yourself proud. I try to live by this motto because why should I do what someone else says when I can choose to do what I want to do?
Be always proud of yourself and love yourself, cause your opinion is the most important.
I hope my answer helped. Take care!!
Love from Romania <3 Madalina.

Life holds meaning to everyone in their own way. What I find to be the most important thing in life is purpose. Finding the one thing, or possibly more, that you are good at and finding a way to have it benefit others. Coldplay does this with their music and I'm a firm believer that everyone has a talent and that that talent can be used to help someone else. When you can feel that you are making a contribution to the lives of others then your life is given even more value and happiness and joy are just pleasant side effects. Chin up!
Ashley A. Raleigh, NC USA.

I don't think life is all survival, living for yourself, etc. In other words, you don't live for you. You are supposed to change someone's life. You are supposed to live for someone else, if that makes sense at all. For instance, in a book, there is always more than one character. In life, there's always going to be somebody. You are supposed to be in that person's life the same way someone's meant to be in yours. If you think that's odd, try picturing someone who you're close to. Then picture their life if you weren't around. It might not seem like it, but you are very important, even if just to one person. I often forget it, but it's true. I feel so alone sometimes, but this fact is a good motivation for me, so I hope this helps you. Victoria.

Sorry to hear you feel low. As soon as I read your question, I immediately thought that the most important thing in life, is you. You are precious, even if you don't feel it. Although it may sound selfish, if you love yourself to the proper degree, you can reach your full potential (in many different areas) and find happiness in who you are.
If you are happy within yourself, this can help you to share your love fully with others, which is a wonderful thing to be able to do and definitely worth living for.
I was depressed when I was younger, and now I realise it was because I hadn't been living. I went on to meet some amazing people and visit some great places in my own country and others. Life is not perfect and I still sometimes get down, but I realise this is not a permanent feeling, it can change for the better. Take care, dc.

I think the most important thing in life is to have a goal. Once you stop dreaming, wishing or don't have a reason to get up in the morning, you've stopped living. So what keeps me going and what makes life worth living for me can always be something different. Right now I have the dream to travel to Australia next year, that's one of my goals. I get up early every morning and work my butt off to earn money. Some days I don't feel like working and want call in sick, but then I think about what I'm working for and go to work anyway. Yesterday my goal was to take my dog out for a walk in the forest. Maybe you should try to keep a journal and write down goals for yourself every week. They don't have to be big, long term goals, they can be small. Like Thursday I want to go ice skating or tomorrow I want bake an apple pie. Write down what you would need to be able to achieve those goals. Like I don't want to go ice skating alone, so I'll call a friend or relative and ask if they want to come with me. Afterwards review whether you've achieved your goals or not with some explanation as to why and how it made you feel. I hope it helps! Good luck. Amanda.

I think I can understand how you feel because I have been where you are (depressed) few times.
What I've learned is that the most important (and the most difficult) thing in life is to love yourself.
The same way that we strive to nurture the relationships with our loved ones and at work, we have to work hard in nurturing our inner self to became the person that we want to be. Not an easy path, but it worth the invest.
Once you get that, you will be able to enjoy every little thing that happen in your life or transform into good (by learning the lessons) the negatives... So you won't have to ask what makes life worth living because you will find the value in every step...
What keeps me going is my desire to get the better version of me to achieve the things I want to do in my life, and for my loved ones to be happy by my side
Hope you find the way. Yolanda.

"Be a bright red rose come bursting the concrete."
This line from Charlie Brown is the secret of life to me.
Always try to be as lovely as you can. Always show your best side. Love the world and everyone in it from all your heart. Give as much as you can. Smile often.
People will love you back. And this love is the greatest gift. It's worth living for - it's priceless.
Wish you all the best for the year 2015!
Love from Germany, Heidi.

I think I understand how you feel. I've been looking for the same answers for a long time. Until I started reading ghost stories. I mean the ghosts of my past, my life, who I am. You need to find your roots to be able to find your purpose. All of us have roots of sadness, happiness, anxiety, desires, personality. Go and find it. Your family and your past are your mirror. Find who and what caused you troubles. Forgive and cut the root of disappointment and sadness. Find who and what inspired and motivated you in childhood, what you've been hiding from the world and secretly desired. Cut that root of loneliness and incomprehension. Go for your dream. Live your true self being aware of how your past affected your present. Be conscious of every move and breath of life,don't concentrate only on your ego and your feelings but help those who need you, volunteer. I did all of that and still do it as much as I can. It keeps me going on. What have always motivated me the most are miracles. In a fact, people who suffer so much but overcome it. Like Paralympians, Nick Vujicic or Unbroken and many other examples that I find and learn from them how to win yourself and obstacles. "And every time I thought I'd walk through walls, it's all becoming clear..." I wish you that clearness and unbrokeness in New Year! Love, Kamili.

In my point of view the most important thing in life and what keeps me going is faith. This may seem lame, but I truly believe that having faith that the future carries something so good for you that will make your tears fall out of joy will make your depression vanish, then you will remember these days and you will wonder why even you were sad one day. Just have faith and the future will carry wonders for you. Dalia.

When people say "happiness is the most important thing in our lives" believe them. So, it's worth searching what makes us feel happy; remembering that along the way we may find different challenges. But that's part of living. We have to learn that enjoying every single thing we have around us will bring us the most precious moments of our lives. That's what my father taught me: enjoy everything, even the strangest or most difficult moments of your life 'cause otherwise you'll suffer and this isn't our goal. Don't worry too much. Establish what goals you want to reach. Fight for your dreams. Enjoy the colorful days and learn from the darker ones. Appreciate the moments when you're on top of the world keeping in mind the steps you take to get there. It takes time to understand life and all we have to do is enjoy the road. In my opinion, life is worth living with its ups and downs, in the dark side and in the light one, 'cause I always look at the positive memories of it. Best wishes, Isabel :-)

This is a very interesting question to ponder. I think many people will give many different answers. Some may desire fame fortune or wish to leave a legacy. For others it may be spend their life in service to others. For myself I have never felt a deeper more fulfilling experience than being in the role of a caregiver. To give back to people or a community is a gift. Since I view my life as a gift, I open it and use it to the full in helping others. I also use my life to the full by travelling and experiencing new things, people and environments. I also enjoy photography especially landscapes and nature and when I am walking and shooting it fulfils me. You need to find out what gives you joy and embrace it, May you have success in finding your way out of depression, and in finding fulfilment in your life, Happy New Year to you and to all who contribute to Team Oracle! Laurie

In life we tend to only see the bad things happening to us or around us - that's basically what the society we are living in is teaching us. Part of the secret is to start seeing the beauty hiden in everything that's happening. Everything that's happening is here to teach us something and to make us grow. Everything is about learning and experiencing. You'd have to see the world as a big school, maybe the toughest school you could find but just think about how great and grateful you would feel by knowing you are allowed to get to that school and how you would feel after having been through all those amazingly crazy experiences, like "God I've done it!". This is unique and how grown up and enriched you would be after that!
Life is like a big journey where different challenges are put on your path and you have to go through them and face them and you will get out the other way feeling bigger, stronger and happier.
My advice would be: Try and start seeing all the good things you have in your life, everything, even the smallest or less significal ones - make a list. What makes you feel grateful having. And every day ask yourself "what am I grateful for today?". Find the lesson and the beauty in every experience and be grateful. Also, uplift yourself by doing the things that makes you feel good and happy, feed your soul.
With great Love, Chloe.

For me the most important thing in life is LOVE. Love that I share with my husband, children, family and friends. Love to life, love to nature, love to music, love to art etc.
It is also important to have dreams and to believe that they can come true. Think positive and be grateful and miracles can happen.
Love, Ann-Sofie from Sweden.

In my opinion, what keeps you going and makes life worth living are love and passion.
The passion you might feel for your job, music, a hobby or a specific activity; that something that fills you with joy, and that you can find if you didn't yet.
And the love of your family, your friends, your significant other, as well as the love you feel for them. Most of the moments you will treasure forever involve the people you love. You have to hold on to those little moments of happiness and lean on your loved ones. You can be sure that they will help you go through this, but they have to know what happens first. You have to tell them (or at least, someone close to you) about the way you feel, so you can start making a change in your life.
Hold on to your loved ones and the moments of happiness. It's gonna take some hard work, but you can do it.
Wish you the best. Noelia, Argentina.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

January 2, 2015 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 8 January.

I'm in a very difficult position being seniors in high school - we are almost going into the real world. I am honestly scared, I know what I want to do but it's relying on one thing and if I don't make it I'm scared I'm not gonna be able to do anything.
Have you ever felt like this if so how did you deal with it? Joel, USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

December 27, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
As the end of 2014 draws to a close, who would you like to thank and / or what would you give thanks for over the past year?

As this is in two parts, I have sneakily given two different answers as 2014 draws to a close. I am thankful for the splendid year that it was and look forward to more of the same in 2015. I would like to thank the band and their fans for my job. Wishing everyone peace and love.
Over to you.

There are a lot of people I have to thank this year. I went through a strange period of my life. I was frustrated about what I've done. But, I realised how beautiful life is when you start to enjoy every single thing. So, I have to thank first of all my family, for being there any time I needed them and to show me that anything is possible. Secondly, my friends who share the most wonderful moments and the funniest ones. Thirdly, my colleagues for welcoming me so warm in their lives. Fourthly, Coldplay and the Oracle, who were part of that ray of light that my life needed to overcome my fears. And last but not least, coldplayers who form a great community and they made me feel part of it. Best wishes, Isabel.

I would like to thank the Universe for every single thing I am given every day and for being on this wonderful planet Earth now. We are all so lucky for being there and we don't realise it enough. Life itself is one of our most precious gifts.
This year has been the big, important and most wonderful revelation in my life and I am so grateful for it and for everything I have learnt. I am finally my real self and I wish that for every one. I hope you will find your truth, open up your heart and shine as bright and beautiful as what you are without even knowing it. Everything is wonderful in its own way and so are you.
With great Love, Chloe.

I would like to say a special thankyou to all the 7,000+ supporters of the campaign to honour Chris with the freedom of his home city of Exeter.
Their support has been incredible!
We are all hoping that 2015 will be a great year!!
Also I'd like to give a special mention to my friend Mila Furstova, not only for the incredible artwork she did for the band but also her generosity in sending me a lovely piece of her artwork.
Happy Christmas to you all and a very happy 2015. Mike.

I like to say thank you to the whole organization from Coldplay and Coldplay, every tweet that I read and every news letter we get from you, and the music that you make, it makes me happy, THANK YOU!!
Merry christmas and a happy 2015 lot of love Marianne the Netherlands.

My deepest gratitude this year is for Chris Martin.
The dream of my life has always been to create my own business. And I've never done because my insecurities and fears have not left me develop my potential. I've managed to create a wonderful family, but the fact of not having fulfilled my personal dream did not allow me to be satisfied with my life, although apparently had everything. All that, plus the fact that 2014 was the year I would turn 50 y/o without being the person I wanted to be, made me earlier this year fell into a depression. It was not until I heard Chris on such a personal interview with Zane Lowe, that my mind awakened. "How the ghosts of your past affect your present," "feel paralysed", "not appreciate what you have for your own insecurities", "be afraid of failure, rejection". I felt so identified with what he said that I listened the interview again and again because wanted to find out which was the path he had followed to "heal" his mind. Now I'm working hard on my own issues and I 'm getting to be the person I want to be. Ah!And early 2015 will launch a line of jewellery. DON'T EVER LET GO.
Thanks for inspiring me to look for a new and unknown path for me.
Wishing the best for 2015 to you Oracle, to the band and Coldplay team & all coldplayer family out there. Yolanda, Spain.

My point of view about everything changed a lot in this year. At first, I realized that friendships are how important. We are closer to each other than ever and I'm so thankful for it. They are always by my side when I really need them. At the same time they are my classmates and we have fun together which I never forget.
One of my dreams came true, I got an acoustic guitar. The tunes are so inspiring. I became a music addict.
And of course, a massive thank you to Coldplay. Their music is amazing, their songs bring light into my grey days. The band's activities motivated me to become charitable which is one of the best feelings I've ever experienced. Better idols I could not find.
Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2015 to Coldplay, the crew, the Oracle and every Coldplayer. Love, Emese.

What a question! What a year, I never thought the year would end like this. Since last September, my life got into a spiral which I was not prepared. Now I could not say that I was totally surprised, it's just that I have been ignore all the signs I had been given. I have to thank God for things happened for He is the architect of our lives. No fear, I always have place to hide, under His wing.
Also I want to thank Coldplay for making Ghost Stories. now flowing in the air, etched in metal, tragedy or fairy tale, the story is told beautifully. Comparing to some other cold poundings, GS is heart warming. Although I cried so much when I first listened to it but it comforts me more than anything else. Thank you... God bless you.
Thank you Oracle/Anchorman for giving me this opportunity. Merry Christmas. Chantal. X

Only one per person? Sorry, because there is more than one person or one thing to thank.
I am thankful, for my beautiful son Michi (3.5 years), that we are both healthy, have food, a roof and be able to enjoy beautiful music like Coldplay's. He really loves it, like I do. And without music, my life would be harder to keep going. I want to thank Frank Schriever of Coldplay Freunde Deutschland @ Facebook, without him I wouldn't have met all the beautiful people and been to Cologne, London and Munich gigs this year. And all my supporting friends that guided me through this bitch of a year. Love you!
Tanja and Michi from Cologne.

Wow this was so simple on the surface, yet a question that required much thought. I guess I could give many answers like, my family or good health, but what I am most thankful for is the generosity of spirit I see this time of year. I have to say it really buoys up my faith in the good of humanity and makes me feel hopeful for future generations. It is so good to give to others, to give back to a community, or even a small simple random act of kindness to a stranger. So with my answer comes a challenge, perform a random act of kindness this Christmas and over the holidays. It need not be expensive or grand but let it be from your heart and please let it not end with Christmas. To all who contribute to Team Oracle, I wish you a Happy Christmas and wonderful New Year!!! Laurie.

So I'll start by thanking you for making time to help me when I needed and I would also like to thank the ones that also answered my question.
Second, I would like to thank my parents for loving me, even though they kind of broke my heart in the last few weeks and I would like to thank my friends for not giving up on me when I was in a bad mood.
And last but not least, I would like to thank the band for making such a beautiful music. With their incredibly talent and kindness they succeeded to fix my broken heart.
Merry Christmas to you all!!
Hugs and Kisses from Romania! Madalina.

There are quite a few I would like to thank, but one I truly am thankful for is my friend Kourtney. Without her, I wouldn't have found my passion in film and how I now plan to become an editor after college. She also has become a close friend who I can trust outside my family and have a strong friendship for years on end. Danny.

2014 was a year with changes for me. I thank to my friends for being what they are in times when my family is going to drop away. I am grateful some health issues turned out to be better so far. In a split of a second I escaped from a serious accident - for this I am very thankful, this will remind me how fragile life can be.
Last but not least I am thankful to that lucky moment I caught one of the rare tickets in last minute for a GS show for a second time, indeed both shows never to forget. Especially since I know 2015 will bring more changes to me, I won't be able to attend to any events for some time at all, this experience will remind me not to give up too soon. Happy new year to everyone. L.Q.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts, not just for the final Team Oracle of the year but each week. We welcome new contributions as Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

December 27, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 1 January.

My question for you is:
What do you think is the most important thing in life?? What keeps you going, what is the thing that makes life worth living? I've been depressed since a long time ago and I think I don't have idea of what makes life worth living and I'd like to ask you for some advice. Take care.
Emily, Mexico.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

December 20, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
As the end of 2014 draws to a close, who would you like to thank and / or what would you give thanks for over the past year?

My thank you goes to all you fans who come back here and ask your questions and join Team Oracle to help others. I receive feedback from many who also thank you.
It's funny how things can change so fast. Last week when I was thinking about what I was thankful for, I had a clear idea of one answer I would give but in a turn of events, this week my answer is different. I am thankful for the NHS. It may be over-stretched with waiting times at A&E getting longer but I realise my health is so important & feel privileged to have a service at my disposal that I had the need for.
Wishing everyone a happy & peaceful festive season.
Over to you.

I hope it's ok if my ONE person I would like to thank for is our German Coldplay Facebook Fangroup.
We can share emotions, news, videos, songs, we discuss , we helped each other with the ticket shenenigans during Ghost Stories concerts which were very small... we finally met in Munich, ( about one third of the group ) and I got the feeling I would know them all for a very long time although we once all met online - only a few have visited each other before. It was amazing that so many of us got tickets. And I found good friends there :). So I hope for a wonderful 2015 :). It's wonderful if you find people who understand you and like the same music as you. Maren.

I'd like to thank to all the people that has made my life happier in this ending year. To every person that has helped me on the way (friends, family, some special band). I'd even love to thank those persons that made me go through a rough time, because thanks to them I learnt not to trip over the same rock again. I'd like to thank life for bringing me great experiences. Thank-you 2014 for being better than the last year and thanks health for being good with me and the people I care about. Have yourself a merry little christmas and a big and happy new year.
PS: Thank you Oracle for letting me say thank you. MDLA.

I am thankful for my parents and for the sole fact that they are my best friends. My father lost his father last year and his mother has been in the hospital since September. He was also diagnosed with a rare disorder in which the calcium in his body attacks his spinal cord and no doctor will help him because they don't want to deal with narcotics (he has to take them to be able to function at all). My mentally handicapped brother has been on and off different medications, which has made it difficult on my mother who takes care of him (he's 30 this December and can be a handful for my mother who has health issues herself, but she doesn't want to let him go yet and can't get help because no one will come out to where we live to help her). I suffer from mental health issues (Depression, OCD, Anxiety, etc.) and I know that I can be a hassle to them both, but no matter what they are put through, they are always willing to do anything they can for me and for my family.
I am also thankful that my fiance has been there for me. He is my best friend and my only friend (other than my parents) and if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here right now. He's my rock and my everything and no matter what happens, he is and will always be by my side.
Jennifer, Canada.

It's so difficult for me to have to choose one person from the abundance of people that have supported me this year, but out of all the people stands a special person that wasn't necessarily physically present with me, but has done so much for me. He's done a lot for me without really knowing that he was there for me, but I never got the opportunity to thank him personally mainly because not only is he really busy, but I never even got to meet him. That man, is Jonny Buckland. Yes, Coldplay's guitarist. I hope he reads this and knows how much he has made me feel elated. I would love to thank him from the bottom of my heart for making my year a blessed one. Thank you, Jonny. Solaf.

Last Christmas I got married so it's time to thank to my husband. One great gift for our anniversary is the movie Unbroken because my husband has also survived war by believing and forgiving. His story is almost like Louis'. I thank him for being my support more than I expect. He never judges anyone, he's so peaceful, positive and hardworking,he never complains. I thank him for travelling together, enjoying small things like they were miracles and being dance partners for 4 years. Thank you for so many days and nights we spent dancing and practicing sports together!
I also thank to Coldplay for singing from above right into my heart. Our connection started 13 years ago when I was 15 and I am endlessly thankful to them and all their crew. Including our Oracle: Thank you for being my window into world of Coldplay and letting me advice people on Friday's problems. THANK YOU. I thank to God for having love, Coldplay, Team Oracle, music, dance, family,sea and each others. Wish you blessings, joy and Miracles this Christmas! Become and stay Unbroken. Forever. Love, Kamili.

This year has been the most hurtful year I've ever known and in my heart, I think the people I would thank most for helping me through it are my coworkers. They created a place of reprieve for me to come everyday by simply accepting from me whichever self showed up that day. No questions, no pushing, no drama, just kindness and caring and appreciation for who I am and what I was going through. And love. They truly make me feel loved everyday, and I needed that this year more than ever. In all honesty, I'm just glad the year is nearly over so I can put it all behind me.
Much love to you all, Miranda.

There's always a lot to be thankful for. I guess the most important thing is that me, my family and friends are all in good health and that even though there were some bumps along the way, 2014 was a great year! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all! Amanda.

Andrew - who left my life as quickly as he entered it, who taught me so much in so little time, who has been so much to me even before we met, who still is even though we won't really meet for a while, who has no idea exactly how much he helped me. Even though I met him last September, I think he became even more important as this year began. Victoria.

Seriously, and this may sound biased, but I never knew being a fan could be so exciting! Managed to see Coldplay 2.5 times live this year (the third time I couldn't see properly) and had other CP related stuff happen too! It has genuinely made this a memorable year for me, and I'd just like to thank the guys and the CP team for being so damn spiffing. ;)

I am thankful for the "Lists of things that need to be done" that keep me organized when I am pulling my hair out to get Christmas Day ready. Thankful for the presents that need to be wrapped to see the smiles on my family & friends faces around me who open them. Thankful for that extra person my cousin brings on Christmas (oops forgot to tell ya I was bringing someone) because I will have given that person a warm place to celebrate with laughter. Thankful I am healthy because there are sick people that need to be made better. Thankful for my job because there are many who are in need of an income who cannot find one. Thankful for the sun, the water & the stars. All of which is such a big part of my life here. Thankful for the food & wine we serve on Christmas because I know there are people who are hungry. Thankful for my kids avoiding doing the Christmas dinner dishes as I hear them giggle with their cousins upstairs. Thankful for the music & art in my life that makes me whole, brings me joy & lets me be me. Above all, I am thankful for my family and friends. Without them, I would have nothing at all.
Merry Christmas Oracle, Christa.

I'd like to thank LIFE for this year because I am grateful of everything that has happened in 2014.
I'd also like to thank all those amazing people who appeared in my life this year. Thanks to them I've changed, learnt and improved a lot. I wish the same to everyone on this Earth : find a way and peace...
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone, may 2015 be better and all your wishes granted!
Love, Sarah.

There is still time to send your answer to these questions. Click HERE for details. Look forward to hearing more answers.
Merry Christmas!

December 12, 2014 / submitted by Kris, India
My life has been in a tailspin for a couple years now. My dad passed away in 2012 at an early age, after an 8 month battle with cancer. I was only 15 at the time, and seeing him trying to fight the disease was more that I could bear. I hid my depression though, since I had to be strong for him and my mom. Losing the most important person in your life can be hard. It has been two years and I still cry myself to sleep, missing him. I have not been able to open up to anyone and still keep my emotions hidden under a veil of humour. Is there any way I will be able to share my feelings with anyone again? I feel trapped.

It's sad how many times I hear young people say things such as, "I had to be strong for...". You actually didn't have to be strong for your Mum & Dad - or anyone - but it's so admirable that you tried to be. Sadly, as everyone else was too overcome with their own sadness, they probably didn't notice what you were trying to do and because of that, it feels like your feelings and needs were overlooked.
I don't think any good comes from hiding feelings. Bottling them up doesn't make them go away and you can end up with more pain to deal with in the long run.
I think it's time to open up (as you have here). Don't be scared to let people know how you really feel.
If you feel safe, find a friend to confide in or a sibling / family member. I personally think you should start with your Mum though. You both lost the same man that you both love. Maybe she just thinks you're ok or don't want to talk about it. Maybe she doesn't know what to say either.
Your grief shared will help. Talking about it / him, will help. Opening up will help. The first step may be scary, but once done, it's done.
You can't set yourself free from your trap until you open it.
Bereavement is a hard process but you're not alone. It could be your Mum needs to open up too - you could help each other if you start to talk about it. If it's too difficult, investigate talking therapies. You could always ask a doctor if you can be referred to a therapist / counsellor.
Help & support is there for you but it looks like you're going to have to ask for it. You've been strong for others for long enough, now it's time to focus on you. I wish you peace.
Over to you.

Yes, you can! Try talking to a close friend or relative about it. It'll make you feel better. I too, had two members of my family leave from cancer. Trust me, this will make you feel better about everything. Nathan B.

Of course there is. Sharing your feelings with someone is an act that requires courage and trust in the person you are sharing them with. These two things are something that you need to keep very near and dear to your heart. Losing someone you're close to is one of the most painful things we can go through, and you need to take as much time as you can to let yourself recover from it. You will find someone you can pour your heart into and share these painful memories with fragile thoughts with, and it might not come so clearly to you, but keep your eyes open and you will find so many people who will catch you in these dark times.
I wish you all the best.
Bradley H.

I'm sorry for your loss. I know what it feels like to lose the most important person in life, I hope my words helps you I believe there's a reason behind everything that happens, especially concerning loved ones. We should make out the best we can of any situation and the way is through LOVE. I suggest you don't focus on your dad's past suffering, on his death, or on your pain. Rather focus on how much your dad loved you, how much he would love to watch you pursue your dreams and never doubt yourself, how proud he would be of you for being so brave. Remember all the things he teached you. Focus on how much you love your dad and how you will make him proud, wherever he is. Look inside your heart and feel all this love for him. It's still there... and so is the love your dad feels for you. Love is eternal, it never dies. Your dad is always with you, don't doubt that. Live your life the happiest you can be. That's the best gift you could give yourself and your dad :) It's ok to cry sometimes... it will always be hard to not be with the most important person. But life has still so much to offer and you're still young. Let your loss become your greatest strength. Be true to yourself, always, and inspire others to be as well. Good luck. Believe in yourself. Be the son of your dad!
Congratulations for the big step of sharing your story. Best regards from Carina.

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, losing a close relative is so hard but more so when you're so young - I can't even imagine what you must have gone through. It may be easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you, someone who can remain impartial and just listen. Sometimes just having someone to listen and not judge, not advise, but just let you talk from the heart is the best medicine.
Is there any kind of counsellor available to you? Specialist bereavement counsellors can help you come to terms with what has happened. The pain will always be there, will always be raw, but with the help of a counsellor you can learn to deal with it over time, recognise what you're going through and get your life back on an even keel.
Be kind to yourself and good luck. Ruth, UK.

I suggest you to read the posts about coping with death of a parent that we wrote about 4 Fridays ago. Now it sounds like you ask about action and changing; that's good, seems like you've decided to go on after years of griefing. Don't blame yourself for that because that's what your father wants,I'm sure. He would also like to open to your mother; tell your pain,cry, don't act like her husband or father of a family, be the son-young,vulnerable,weak. Talk to teacher, therapist or priest. Be with friends, volunteer with homeless people or orphan kids. Their pain will heal your pain. Choose some sport and practice often-your body will be like a medicine to your soul. I suggest you to read any book of great life teacher and writer from India, Anthony de Mello. I know you can do it, there's so much waiting for you, be strong and believe! "Life is for living!" With love, Kamili from Croatia.

You have come to a critical point in your life; you are in the shadow of adversity. Now adversity is part of life it hurts, I know. But to overcome it, you need to adapt. Find someone you love and trust dearly and try to talk to them. Or if you're not ready for that, try writing how you feel down through music, poetry or just a story. And you might feel like you can't but you can, you just have to get out of your comfort zone and anyone who believes in you will feel empathy with you and help you feel better and support you. And write down your memories of him, cherish his memory and think about how much he loved you. He wants you to be happy even in tragedy. And when you express yourself to another person or even in writing, you'll find the dark storm clouds clearing and the clarity will be more beautiful than you remember. Remember; everything's not lost. Good luck and remember; people love you and want to make you feel better. Madi.

I'm really sorry for your loss Kris, no one should have to go through something like that at such an early age. I'm going to be blunt here, I think you should seek professional help. I'm not sure how these things work in India, but go to your doctor and tell him you want to see a psychologist. I know a lot of people think that in order to seek professional help you have to be completely insane and suicidal, but thats just not true. Psychologist are there for everyone who is experiencing difficulties in life, like you are right now. Talking to someone who doesn't know the first think about you can really help you feel better and they are trained to support and help you. With a little help and time, I'm sure you'll be able to open up to others again. Stay strong. Amanda.

I would say that if you can write about what you're feeling (even if you're doing it to the Oracle) is a sign that you do need and can open to others. There is no magic trick to solve your problems and you will probably need a lot of time to overcome your pain, but seriously Kris, our lives can be amazing and it really depends on us what we do with it. Live YOUR life to the fullest, sing, dance (preferably to Coldplay's sound), smile, laugh, be true, trust, get hurt, make a fool out of yourself and dedicate yourself to others everyday, one day at the time... trust me is a great way to live and things will get better!
Kiss, Carine, Portugal.

I am not sure if anything I say can ease your pain. But if we don't try, we'll never know. I lost my mom 11 years back and the feeling of loss has never left me even after all these years. Time may heal but memories never die. What helps is having a chosen few people to talk to.
I have always been close to my sister. That night we talked at length and cried together; we even laughed recalling some of mom's funny moments. It was healing in some way.
Over the years I have become more silent and reserved. But I have also learned that losing someone close makes you realise that people matter in life: the ones we have lost and the ones we still have.
We still talk about mom, how she liked to do certain things or the way she cooked a certain dish. There are years of illness and all other details. But restricting our memories to only those details, limit their whole existence to just pain. She was more than that.
You need to communicate your grief; whether you write it down in a notepad or in a blog or share it with the few close friends and family you have, especially your mom. She needs to truly know how you are doing and you need to understand how she is coping.
We all need our space but remember, isolating ourselves in grief only makes us lonely and depressed.
Regards, Rex, India.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.