426 oracle items tagged as team oracle
December 27, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
As the end of 2014 draws to a close, who would you like to thank and / or what would you give thanks for over the past year?

As this is in two parts, I have sneakily given two different answers as 2014 draws to a close. I am thankful for the splendid year that it was and look forward to more of the same in 2015. I would like to thank the band and their fans for my job. Wishing everyone peace and love.
Over to you.

There are a lot of people I have to thank this year. I went through a strange period of my life. I was frustrated about what I've done. But, I realised how beautiful life is when you start to enjoy every single thing. So, I have to thank first of all my family, for being there any time I needed them and to show me that anything is possible. Secondly, my friends who share the most wonderful moments and the funniest ones. Thirdly, my colleagues for welcoming me so warm in their lives. Fourthly, Coldplay and the Oracle, who were part of that ray of light that my life needed to overcome my fears. And last but not least, coldplayers who form a great community and they made me feel part of it. Best wishes, Isabel.

I would like to thank the Universe for every single thing I am given every day and for being on this wonderful planet Earth now. We are all so lucky for being there and we don't realise it enough. Life itself is one of our most precious gifts.
This year has been the big, important and most wonderful revelation in my life and I am so grateful for it and for everything I have learnt. I am finally my real self and I wish that for every one. I hope you will find your truth, open up your heart and shine as bright and beautiful as what you are without even knowing it. Everything is wonderful in its own way and so are you.
With great Love, Chloe.

I would like to say a special thankyou to all the 7,000+ supporters of the campaign to honour Chris with the freedom of his home city of Exeter.
Their support has been incredible!
We are all hoping that 2015 will be a great year!!
Also I'd like to give a special mention to my friend Mila Furstova, not only for the incredible artwork she did for the band but also her generosity in sending me a lovely piece of her artwork.
Happy Christmas to you all and a very happy 2015. Mike.

I like to say thank you to the whole organization from Coldplay and Coldplay, every tweet that I read and every news letter we get from you, and the music that you make, it makes me happy, THANK YOU!!
Merry christmas and a happy 2015 lot of love Marianne the Netherlands.

My deepest gratitude this year is for Chris Martin.
The dream of my life has always been to create my own business. And I've never done because my insecurities and fears have not left me develop my potential. I've managed to create a wonderful family, but the fact of not having fulfilled my personal dream did not allow me to be satisfied with my life, although apparently had everything. All that, plus the fact that 2014 was the year I would turn 50 y/o without being the person I wanted to be, made me earlier this year fell into a depression. It was not until I heard Chris on such a personal interview with Zane Lowe, that my mind awakened. "How the ghosts of your past affect your present," "feel paralysed", "not appreciate what you have for your own insecurities", "be afraid of failure, rejection". I felt so identified with what he said that I listened the interview again and again because wanted to find out which was the path he had followed to "heal" his mind. Now I'm working hard on my own issues and I 'm getting to be the person I want to be. Ah!And early 2015 will launch a line of jewellery. DON'T EVER LET GO.
Thanks for inspiring me to look for a new and unknown path for me.
Wishing the best for 2015 to you Oracle, to the band and Coldplay team & all coldplayer family out there. Yolanda, Spain.

My point of view about everything changed a lot in this year. At first, I realized that friendships are how important. We are closer to each other than ever and I'm so thankful for it. They are always by my side when I really need them. At the same time they are my classmates and we have fun together which I never forget.
One of my dreams came true, I got an acoustic guitar. The tunes are so inspiring. I became a music addict.
And of course, a massive thank you to Coldplay. Their music is amazing, their songs bring light into my grey days. The band's activities motivated me to become charitable which is one of the best feelings I've ever experienced. Better idols I could not find.
Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2015 to Coldplay, the crew, the Oracle and every Coldplayer. Love, Emese.

What a question! What a year, I never thought the year would end like this. Since last September, my life got into a spiral which I was not prepared. Now I could not say that I was totally surprised, it's just that I have been ignore all the signs I had been given. I have to thank God for things happened for He is the architect of our lives. No fear, I always have place to hide, under His wing.
Also I want to thank Coldplay for making Ghost Stories. now flowing in the air, etched in metal, tragedy or fairy tale, the story is told beautifully. Comparing to some other cold poundings, GS is heart warming. Although I cried so much when I first listened to it but it comforts me more than anything else. Thank you... God bless you.
Thank you Oracle/Anchorman for giving me this opportunity. Merry Christmas. Chantal. X

Only one per person? Sorry, because there is more than one person or one thing to thank.
I am thankful, for my beautiful son Michi (3.5 years), that we are both healthy, have food, a roof and be able to enjoy beautiful music like Coldplay's. He really loves it, like I do. And without music, my life would be harder to keep going. I want to thank Frank Schriever of Coldplay Freunde Deutschland @ Facebook, without him I wouldn't have met all the beautiful people and been to Cologne, London and Munich gigs this year. And all my supporting friends that guided me through this bitch of a year. Love you!
Tanja and Michi from Cologne.

Wow this was so simple on the surface, yet a question that required much thought. I guess I could give many answers like, my family or good health, but what I am most thankful for is the generosity of spirit I see this time of year. I have to say it really buoys up my faith in the good of humanity and makes me feel hopeful for future generations. It is so good to give to others, to give back to a community, or even a small simple random act of kindness to a stranger. So with my answer comes a challenge, perform a random act of kindness this Christmas and over the holidays. It need not be expensive or grand but let it be from your heart and please let it not end with Christmas. To all who contribute to Team Oracle, I wish you a Happy Christmas and wonderful New Year!!! Laurie.

So I'll start by thanking you for making time to help me when I needed and I would also like to thank the ones that also answered my question.
Second, I would like to thank my parents for loving me, even though they kind of broke my heart in the last few weeks and I would like to thank my friends for not giving up on me when I was in a bad mood.
And last but not least, I would like to thank the band for making such a beautiful music. With their incredibly talent and kindness they succeeded to fix my broken heart.
Merry Christmas to you all!!
Hugs and Kisses from Romania! Madalina.

There are quite a few I would like to thank, but one I truly am thankful for is my friend Kourtney. Without her, I wouldn't have found my passion in film and how I now plan to become an editor after college. She also has become a close friend who I can trust outside my family and have a strong friendship for years on end. Danny.

2014 was a year with changes for me. I thank to my friends for being what they are in times when my family is going to drop away. I am grateful some health issues turned out to be better so far. In a split of a second I escaped from a serious accident - for this I am very thankful, this will remind me how fragile life can be.
Last but not least I am thankful to that lucky moment I caught one of the rare tickets in last minute for a GS show for a second time, indeed both shows never to forget. Especially since I know 2015 will bring more changes to me, I won't be able to attend to any events for some time at all, this experience will remind me not to give up too soon. Happy new year to everyone. L.Q.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts, not just for the final Team Oracle of the year but each week. We welcome new contributions as Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

December 27, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 1 January.

My question for you is:
What do you think is the most important thing in life?? What keeps you going, what is the thing that makes life worth living? I've been depressed since a long time ago and I think I don't have idea of what makes life worth living and I'd like to ask you for some advice. Take care.
Emily, Mexico.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

December 20, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
As the end of 2014 draws to a close, who would you like to thank and / or what would you give thanks for over the past year?

My thank you goes to all you fans who come back here and ask your questions and join Team Oracle to help others. I receive feedback from many who also thank you.
It's funny how things can change so fast. Last week when I was thinking about what I was thankful for, I had a clear idea of one answer I would give but in a turn of events, this week my answer is different. I am thankful for the NHS. It may be over-stretched with waiting times at A&E getting longer but I realise my health is so important & feel privileged to have a service at my disposal that I had the need for.
Wishing everyone a happy & peaceful festive season.
Over to you.

I hope it's ok if my ONE person I would like to thank for is our German Coldplay Facebook Fangroup.
We can share emotions, news, videos, songs, we discuss , we helped each other with the ticket shenenigans during Ghost Stories concerts which were very small... we finally met in Munich, ( about one third of the group ) and I got the feeling I would know them all for a very long time although we once all met online - only a few have visited each other before. It was amazing that so many of us got tickets. And I found good friends there :). So I hope for a wonderful 2015 :). It's wonderful if you find people who understand you and like the same music as you. Maren.

I'd like to thank to all the people that has made my life happier in this ending year. To every person that has helped me on the way (friends, family, some special band). I'd even love to thank those persons that made me go through a rough time, because thanks to them I learnt not to trip over the same rock again. I'd like to thank life for bringing me great experiences. Thank-you 2014 for being better than the last year and thanks health for being good with me and the people I care about. Have yourself a merry little christmas and a big and happy new year.
PS: Thank you Oracle for letting me say thank you. MDLA.

I am thankful for my parents and for the sole fact that they are my best friends. My father lost his father last year and his mother has been in the hospital since September. He was also diagnosed with a rare disorder in which the calcium in his body attacks his spinal cord and no doctor will help him because they don't want to deal with narcotics (he has to take them to be able to function at all). My mentally handicapped brother has been on and off different medications, which has made it difficult on my mother who takes care of him (he's 30 this December and can be a handful for my mother who has health issues herself, but she doesn't want to let him go yet and can't get help because no one will come out to where we live to help her). I suffer from mental health issues (Depression, OCD, Anxiety, etc.) and I know that I can be a hassle to them both, but no matter what they are put through, they are always willing to do anything they can for me and for my family.
I am also thankful that my fiance has been there for me. He is my best friend and my only friend (other than my parents) and if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here right now. He's my rock and my everything and no matter what happens, he is and will always be by my side.
Jennifer, Canada.

It's so difficult for me to have to choose one person from the abundance of people that have supported me this year, but out of all the people stands a special person that wasn't necessarily physically present with me, but has done so much for me. He's done a lot for me without really knowing that he was there for me, but I never got the opportunity to thank him personally mainly because not only is he really busy, but I never even got to meet him. That man, is Jonny Buckland. Yes, Coldplay's guitarist. I hope he reads this and knows how much he has made me feel elated. I would love to thank him from the bottom of my heart for making my year a blessed one. Thank you, Jonny. Solaf.

Last Christmas I got married so it's time to thank to my husband. One great gift for our anniversary is the movie Unbroken because my husband has also survived war by believing and forgiving. His story is almost like Louis'. I thank him for being my support more than I expect. He never judges anyone, he's so peaceful, positive and hardworking,he never complains. I thank him for travelling together, enjoying small things like they were miracles and being dance partners for 4 years. Thank you for so many days and nights we spent dancing and practicing sports together!
I also thank to Coldplay for singing from above right into my heart. Our connection started 13 years ago when I was 15 and I am endlessly thankful to them and all their crew. Including our Oracle: Thank you for being my window into world of Coldplay and letting me advice people on Friday's problems. THANK YOU. I thank to God for having love, Coldplay, Team Oracle, music, dance, family,sea and each others. Wish you blessings, joy and Miracles this Christmas! Become and stay Unbroken. Forever. Love, Kamili.

This year has been the most hurtful year I've ever known and in my heart, I think the people I would thank most for helping me through it are my coworkers. They created a place of reprieve for me to come everyday by simply accepting from me whichever self showed up that day. No questions, no pushing, no drama, just kindness and caring and appreciation for who I am and what I was going through. And love. They truly make me feel loved everyday, and I needed that this year more than ever. In all honesty, I'm just glad the year is nearly over so I can put it all behind me.
Much love to you all, Miranda.

There's always a lot to be thankful for. I guess the most important thing is that me, my family and friends are all in good health and that even though there were some bumps along the way, 2014 was a great year! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all! Amanda.

Andrew - who left my life as quickly as he entered it, who taught me so much in so little time, who has been so much to me even before we met, who still is even though we won't really meet for a while, who has no idea exactly how much he helped me. Even though I met him last September, I think he became even more important as this year began. Victoria.

Seriously, and this may sound biased, but I never knew being a fan could be so exciting! Managed to see Coldplay 2.5 times live this year (the third time I couldn't see properly) and had other CP related stuff happen too! It has genuinely made this a memorable year for me, and I'd just like to thank the guys and the CP team for being so damn spiffing. ;)

I am thankful for the "Lists of things that need to be done" that keep me organized when I am pulling my hair out to get Christmas Day ready. Thankful for the presents that need to be wrapped to see the smiles on my family & friends faces around me who open them. Thankful for that extra person my cousin brings on Christmas (oops forgot to tell ya I was bringing someone) because I will have given that person a warm place to celebrate with laughter. Thankful I am healthy because there are sick people that need to be made better. Thankful for my job because there are many who are in need of an income who cannot find one. Thankful for the sun, the water & the stars. All of which is such a big part of my life here. Thankful for the food & wine we serve on Christmas because I know there are people who are hungry. Thankful for my kids avoiding doing the Christmas dinner dishes as I hear them giggle with their cousins upstairs. Thankful for the music & art in my life that makes me whole, brings me joy & lets me be me. Above all, I am thankful for my family and friends. Without them, I would have nothing at all.
Merry Christmas Oracle, Christa.

I'd like to thank LIFE for this year because I am grateful of everything that has happened in 2014.
I'd also like to thank all those amazing people who appeared in my life this year. Thanks to them I've changed, learnt and improved a lot. I wish the same to everyone on this Earth : find a way and peace...
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone, may 2015 be better and all your wishes granted!
Love, Sarah.

There is still time to send your answer to these questions. Click HERE for details. Look forward to hearing more answers.
Merry Christmas!

December 12, 2014 / submitted by Kris, India
My life has been in a tailspin for a couple years now. My dad passed away in 2012 at an early age, after an 8 month battle with cancer. I was only 15 at the time, and seeing him trying to fight the disease was more that I could bear. I hid my depression though, since I had to be strong for him and my mom. Losing the most important person in your life can be hard. It has been two years and I still cry myself to sleep, missing him. I have not been able to open up to anyone and still keep my emotions hidden under a veil of humour. Is there any way I will be able to share my feelings with anyone again? I feel trapped.

It's sad how many times I hear young people say things such as, "I had to be strong for...". You actually didn't have to be strong for your Mum & Dad - or anyone - but it's so admirable that you tried to be. Sadly, as everyone else was too overcome with their own sadness, they probably didn't notice what you were trying to do and because of that, it feels like your feelings and needs were overlooked.
I don't think any good comes from hiding feelings. Bottling them up doesn't make them go away and you can end up with more pain to deal with in the long run.
I think it's time to open up (as you have here). Don't be scared to let people know how you really feel.
If you feel safe, find a friend to confide in or a sibling / family member. I personally think you should start with your Mum though. You both lost the same man that you both love. Maybe she just thinks you're ok or don't want to talk about it. Maybe she doesn't know what to say either.
Your grief shared will help. Talking about it / him, will help. Opening up will help. The first step may be scary, but once done, it's done.
You can't set yourself free from your trap until you open it.
Bereavement is a hard process but you're not alone. It could be your Mum needs to open up too - you could help each other if you start to talk about it. If it's too difficult, investigate talking therapies. You could always ask a doctor if you can be referred to a therapist / counsellor.
Help & support is there for you but it looks like you're going to have to ask for it. You've been strong for others for long enough, now it's time to focus on you. I wish you peace.
Over to you.

Yes, you can! Try talking to a close friend or relative about it. It'll make you feel better. I too, had two members of my family leave from cancer. Trust me, this will make you feel better about everything. Nathan B.

Of course there is. Sharing your feelings with someone is an act that requires courage and trust in the person you are sharing them with. These two things are something that you need to keep very near and dear to your heart. Losing someone you're close to is one of the most painful things we can go through, and you need to take as much time as you can to let yourself recover from it. You will find someone you can pour your heart into and share these painful memories with fragile thoughts with, and it might not come so clearly to you, but keep your eyes open and you will find so many people who will catch you in these dark times.
I wish you all the best.
Bradley H.

I'm sorry for your loss. I know what it feels like to lose the most important person in life, I hope my words helps you I believe there's a reason behind everything that happens, especially concerning loved ones. We should make out the best we can of any situation and the way is through LOVE. I suggest you don't focus on your dad's past suffering, on his death, or on your pain. Rather focus on how much your dad loved you, how much he would love to watch you pursue your dreams and never doubt yourself, how proud he would be of you for being so brave. Remember all the things he teached you. Focus on how much you love your dad and how you will make him proud, wherever he is. Look inside your heart and feel all this love for him. It's still there... and so is the love your dad feels for you. Love is eternal, it never dies. Your dad is always with you, don't doubt that. Live your life the happiest you can be. That's the best gift you could give yourself and your dad :) It's ok to cry sometimes... it will always be hard to not be with the most important person. But life has still so much to offer and you're still young. Let your loss become your greatest strength. Be true to yourself, always, and inspire others to be as well. Good luck. Believe in yourself. Be the son of your dad!
Congratulations for the big step of sharing your story. Best regards from Carina.

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, losing a close relative is so hard but more so when you're so young - I can't even imagine what you must have gone through. It may be easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you, someone who can remain impartial and just listen. Sometimes just having someone to listen and not judge, not advise, but just let you talk from the heart is the best medicine.
Is there any kind of counsellor available to you? Specialist bereavement counsellors can help you come to terms with what has happened. The pain will always be there, will always be raw, but with the help of a counsellor you can learn to deal with it over time, recognise what you're going through and get your life back on an even keel.
Be kind to yourself and good luck. Ruth, UK.

I suggest you to read the posts about coping with death of a parent that we wrote about 4 Fridays ago. Now it sounds like you ask about action and changing; that's good, seems like you've decided to go on after years of griefing. Don't blame yourself for that because that's what your father wants,I'm sure. He would also like to open to your mother; tell your pain,cry, don't act like her husband or father of a family, be the son-young,vulnerable,weak. Talk to teacher, therapist or priest. Be with friends, volunteer with homeless people or orphan kids. Their pain will heal your pain. Choose some sport and practice often-your body will be like a medicine to your soul. I suggest you to read any book of great life teacher and writer from India, Anthony de Mello. I know you can do it, there's so much waiting for you, be strong and believe! "Life is for living!" With love, Kamili from Croatia.

You have come to a critical point in your life; you are in the shadow of adversity. Now adversity is part of life it hurts, I know. But to overcome it, you need to adapt. Find someone you love and trust dearly and try to talk to them. Or if you're not ready for that, try writing how you feel down through music, poetry or just a story. And you might feel like you can't but you can, you just have to get out of your comfort zone and anyone who believes in you will feel empathy with you and help you feel better and support you. And write down your memories of him, cherish his memory and think about how much he loved you. He wants you to be happy even in tragedy. And when you express yourself to another person or even in writing, you'll find the dark storm clouds clearing and the clarity will be more beautiful than you remember. Remember; everything's not lost. Good luck and remember; people love you and want to make you feel better. Madi.

I'm really sorry for your loss Kris, no one should have to go through something like that at such an early age. I'm going to be blunt here, I think you should seek professional help. I'm not sure how these things work in India, but go to your doctor and tell him you want to see a psychologist. I know a lot of people think that in order to seek professional help you have to be completely insane and suicidal, but thats just not true. Psychologist are there for everyone who is experiencing difficulties in life, like you are right now. Talking to someone who doesn't know the first think about you can really help you feel better and they are trained to support and help you. With a little help and time, I'm sure you'll be able to open up to others again. Stay strong. Amanda.

I would say that if you can write about what you're feeling (even if you're doing it to the Oracle) is a sign that you do need and can open to others. There is no magic trick to solve your problems and you will probably need a lot of time to overcome your pain, but seriously Kris, our lives can be amazing and it really depends on us what we do with it. Live YOUR life to the fullest, sing, dance (preferably to Coldplay's sound), smile, laugh, be true, trust, get hurt, make a fool out of yourself and dedicate yourself to others everyday, one day at the time... trust me is a great way to live and things will get better!
Kiss, Carine, Portugal.

I am not sure if anything I say can ease your pain. But if we don't try, we'll never know. I lost my mom 11 years back and the feeling of loss has never left me even after all these years. Time may heal but memories never die. What helps is having a chosen few people to talk to.
I have always been close to my sister. That night we talked at length and cried together; we even laughed recalling some of mom's funny moments. It was healing in some way.
Over the years I have become more silent and reserved. But I have also learned that losing someone close makes you realise that people matter in life: the ones we have lost and the ones we still have.
We still talk about mom, how she liked to do certain things or the way she cooked a certain dish. There are years of illness and all other details. But restricting our memories to only those details, limit their whole existence to just pain. She was more than that.
You need to communicate your grief; whether you write it down in a notepad or in a blog or share it with the few close friends and family you have, especially your mom. She needs to truly know how you are doing and you need to understand how she is coping.
We all need our space but remember, isolating ourselves in grief only makes us lonely and depressed.
Regards, Rex, India.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

December 12, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following week, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply. At this time of the year, we usually have a more general question. I decided that perhaps we could use the space to give thanks to someone or for something.
There are two deadlines as I will split the answers over two weeks.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Friday 19 & 26 December.

As the end of 2014 draws to a close, who would you like to thank or what would you give thanks for over the past year? Only one per person, please.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

Replies will be posted on Saturdays 20 & 27 December.

December 10, 2014 / submitted by Zara, Italy
Q.  Dear Oracle,

how many problems do you recieve for Team Oracle every Friday? And how many answer do you get on average? Just curious, you must be very busy about that, but thanks for doing it! Zara

Team Oracle isn't a separate entity. People send in their Oracle questions in the usual way and then I decide which one to choose each week. I do let the question asker know that it's going to appear in the Team Oracle feature.
Therefore, I ask & answer one question per week.

December 5, 2014 / submitted by Gavin, Isle of Man
If you could ask your younger self one question, what would it be?

And (added by The Oracle):
If you could give one piece of advice at the same time, what would it be?

This was interesting because I've never thought about it before. Quite a few questions pop into my mind:
'Are you sure you want to do that?'
'Do you really think that's a good idea?'
'You're not going out wearing that are you?'
'Where did you put that shoe box of memories?'
'Who did you lend your FGTH vinyl of Liverpool to?'
In all seriousness, I am struggling to find one profound one as I'm sure I would ask myself a lot of questions.
I consider myself both young, (though more than half way through my life) and older & wiser. Even all the mistakes I've made along the way have helped shape me so I'm not sure I'd go back and undo them, well, not all of them. I'd certainly tell myself not to beat myself up about them.
One Q I sort of ask myself periodically is, are you happy? The answer is yes. I live life to the full and there's not much point having regrets. I've learned from my mistakes and hopefully I am making a difference.

The advice I would give my younger self is "trust your gut instinct".
Over to you.

I would ask my younger self this question: Are you satisfied with what I've become and have I made your wishes and dreams come true?

I would say not to worry 'cause "In a haze, a stormy haze, I'll be round, I'll be loving you always, always..." I think I've proved it even more than I've had expected, almost to say that "everything's possible", so there's no need of being afraid for myself in the future. I'll do my best to make my older self happy as I did to my younger self. I've never thought about it so much but it's very interesting question about our younger self. It's good to see that I did a lot for myself, especially about realizing dreams that seemed impossible but I promised to my younger self to go for it and I really went.
With love, Kamili.

I see a therapist, so I asked myself A LOT of questions regarding my habits, the way I see the world, the way I react to certain things.

The piece of advice I would give today to my younger version is: Don't be upset for small things that don't matter. Understand that nobody's perfect.Try to think considering other people's point of view. Don't be angry for stupid things.
Noelia, Argentina.

WOW, good question!
I would ask my younger self : Why do you are afraid to say NO?

My advice at the same time would be: if you say NO, when you mean NO, no one will be angry and hate you. You should respect your own feelings. You are beloved whatever you do and if you do a wrong decision is not the end of the world.
Love from Germany, Maren.

Question: What are you so afraid of?

Advice: Don't be so afraid to be vulnerable, make a mistake or **** up. You won't be less worthy of love if you do so. Carola.

If I could ask my younger self a question, it would be 'why didn't you listen to yourself?'.

And my advice would be to listen to myself! Sometimes we are swayed by outside influences and pressure, but if you are not true to yourself, it may have bad repercussions later on. Don't get me wrong, some advice is for our good and protection. But some decisions can and should be made by us and us alone, especially ones that will affect you long term. I would tell myself to realise my self worth and not to settle for second best with regards to close relationships and other important things. DP.

I'm not sure what question I would ask my younger self, but I would tell her this:
Wisdom does not come without life experience. Time travels faster the older you get. People cannot be for you the emotional love you need to have for yourself. Like yourself, love yourself. Life gets better! You will find tools to heal yourself and others and find more strength and skill than you know you have. Strength and victory does not come from strolling through a park and having an easy life, it comes from wrestling through adversity. Also, the Universe takes the path of least resistance. Let go when the Universe lets something crumble. Life can be smooth sailing or stormy seas and sometimes everything is simply just not about us. Know it's all for the best. Sail on. Happiness awaits!!! Be kind to yourself and love yourself, think positively and envision good things for your future and they will come. Work hard, never give up. Be curious. Your heart is the most powerful organ of perception. Use it. Travel the world when you can. Write. Create. Breathe. Repeat. You have the strength and will to be the victor. Live with the intention to create a world that cherishes Love. Trust your intuition. Be well, be blessed, Branwen.

Thanks first of all for a thought-provoking question! I had to mull this one over for awhile. I would ask "What is the one thing you do that always makes you truly happy? Don't describe something that someone else does for you, but tell me something that YOU do that brings you joy every single time you do it. Something that you lose yourself in, something that makes the time fly by when you're doing it."

Once I learned that one thing that brought happiness to my younger self, I would advise "Hold on to that thing forever and figure out how to incorporate it into your life. If you can figure out how to do it as a job to earn your living, do it. If you can't do it as your vocation, then do it as an avocation. Do it as a hobby or a pastime, but do it. Keep on doing it until the day you die. Because if you can continue that single thing that makes you happy, happiness will be within your grasp always. You won't have to depend on someone or something else to bring you joy. It will always be within the realm of your possibility." Peace and love to you. Jill, Rochester, NY

My question would be "Why are you so afraid of life? What stops you to talk, and reach your dreams?"

The advice would to always keep going and make other people respect you. Respect is something really important you will need in life. Being afraid of making someone to respect you is the worst fear someone can have, because if you don't make other to respect you, you will see the consequence in a couple of years. If they hit you, hit them twice. If they bully you, never let them see you cry, because that is what they want. Never get tired of what you are. Everything happens for a reason.
Study harder than you think you are able to, it may serve you to win a scholarship in another country. Insist in entering in course you love to be in, like ballet, sing, volleyball, etc. Don't be afraid of someone else opinion. Karolyn.

This is a very emotional question, I am very touched and ready to open up.
I would ask myself this; Why? Why did you hurt yourself You are beautiful, please don't let anyone make you think otherwise, even if that'd be yourself. I love you so much and you know you're worth it. Solaf.

This was an amazing and very thought provoking question and it's taken a few days to come up with an answer. Now being in my fifties I am rather content with my life, so nothing screamed at me at first... but I thought of all the advantages that youth gives a person, so the one question I would ask my younger self is "Why not?" Why not further education?? Why not accept an opportunity when it arises?? Why not question the status quo??? Why not embrace another's viewpoint??? Why not travel?? Why not experience new things and take risks in life??? Why not fall in love???

I have learned that life is not a spectator sport, not a dress rehearsal, it's a gift, unwrap it, open it up, and live it like it will end tomorrow. Laurie.

I think I'd ask myself: Why haven't you called your grandpa yet?! He's been on my mind a lot lately, ever since my grandma passed away a few months ago. I never met my grandpa because he and my grandma got divorced before I was born and he said he didn't want to have anything to do with my family anymore. When I was 13 I tracked down his phone number, but my grandma and dad found out and got really upset with me. I felt so bad I never tried to contact him ever again. Now I'm 25 and it's too late to reach out to him because I heard he's suffering from dementia. I just keep wondering if I did the right thing not calling him when I got the chance.

My advice to myself would be to get guitar and singing lessons, I've always regretted that I didn't do those things sooner. They are the highlights of my week and the singing lessons really helped to build my self-confidence which I had very little of when I was younger. Amanda.

The question I would ask to my young me is why didn't you listen to Coldplay before? Haha I'm joking :-)
I would ask myself why were you afraid of saying what you think and believe?

And the advice I would give is: expressing what you think helps you to overcome fears. That allows you to have inner peace, to feel less anxious and to achieve your goals. What you say might be wrong, but you'll learn through making mistakes. Or it might be right, but you'll never know until you say it.
Best wishes, Isabel.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

December 5, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 11 December.

My life has been in a tailspin for a couple years now. My dad passed away in 2012 at an early age, after an 8 month battle with cancer. I was only 15 at the time, and seeing him trying to fight the disease was more that I could bear. I hid my depression though, since I had to be strong for him and my mom. Losing the most important person in your life can be hard. It has been two years and I still cry myself to sleep, missing him. I have not been able to open up to anyone and still keep my emotions hidden under a veil of humour. Is there any way I will be able to share my feelings with anyone again? I feel trapped.
Kris, India.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

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November 28, 2014 / submitted by Margarette, France
It's been a long that I keep it in my head, but it's time to come up. I have just graduated and moved back home but one big mystery still remained unsolved. It's about my so-called best friend with whom I spent 5 years of everyday life being "just friends", but being "more than friends". Nothing ever happened but everyone around us considered us as a couple, specially those who didn't know us. There's been many situations that almost led to something more clearly, but being a woman I thought that it was up to man to do something. None of us have ever had relationship during that time. He has some unsolved problems in his family which affected his childhood. and it maybe a reason for being blocked to do something. He is partially aware of that problems and trying to solve them. Although now, after my graduation we live in different towns, he keeps calling, and when I come to visit, we spend most of the time together and it is his initiative. I tried to talk about it directly and he has told that he wasn't able to do anything about us because of his problems. His father killed himself in friend's early childhood and his mother had never talked about it. He has pretty much normal life, a lot of friends and job, everything's ok but there are troubles with love and may be with me. I don't know what to do, I feel like trapped in this relationship not knowing who we are and what's going to happen. Please write your opinion and advice,any word will be helpful. Thank you.

Friendships with friends of the opposite gender can be very confusing if there are feelings that cross the line of "just friends" from one or both parties.
This is not a conventional relationship, in fact it's still a friendship - albeit a confused one.
I know there may be people who will disagree but the days of it being all down to a male to make the first move is almost antiquated - it's 2014! Make a move if you like him or at least have that conversation.
You will continue to feel trapped unless you find out the answers to your questions. If you don't feel you can do that, you could write him a letter during your time apart. You can have a chat about your feelings when you next get together.
You have a close bond with your best friend who has been through such a lot. Even though it's been 5 years, it still may take time because he probably still has some healing to do.
It may be that as friends you have been his rock, his strength and he wants your safety blanket presence around him. It may be that he feels the same way as you but doesn't know how move forward. I'm not here to tell him what to do but he may benefit from counselling if he has nobody other than you to speak to.
Continue to support him but don't ignore your feelings in favour of his. Find out where you stand and whether you have a chance of a future. If he wants to be more than friends, you need to take it slowly. 5 years is a long time to feel this way and you don't need to stay in this situation. It sounds like it's going to be down to you to make a change or a break. It may require more patience but I hope it all works out for you both.
Over to you.

Reading your story I can only imagine how you are feeling with so many unanswered questions, with the emotions that come with it being harder still. The best way I can think to describe what you are going through would be feeling 'trapped in suspense' regarding your relationship. If you feel frustration or anger at the situation, it will be easy to feel guilty or blame yourself for having such thoughts. It's not your fault. Having only read your story I think that you are a good person with a caring, sensitive soul.
For me to give advice on the relationship with your friend would be clumsy. I will offer my opinion instead (you might have thought this yourself). His past might answer for the present; emotional pain such as his runs deep and recovery can take a long time.
The relationship you two share is unique, you have lived with each other for 5 years it really is a beautiful thing. This unfortunately, may be the reason for him wanting to keep things as they are. The risk of the relationship changing might be too much for him.
I hope my words have helped but more so I hope you find a way to overcome this situation. You can do it. The pain will pass and when it does, it will be because you knew the answers when you thought you didn't. I send you my love and support.

You opened up and were honest with him about what you feel. You made the right move. Telling you that he doesn't do anything about your relationship because of his problems sounds like an excuse. Usually, if someone wants a romantic relationship with you and you tell them that you have feelings for them, the result is very different.
Even if he loved you back romantically, he seems to be trapped in the middle of his problems, and it doesn't look like he's solving them soon. He's partially aware of them and getting over that kind of traumas takes time.
I think you should move on from this situation and give other boys a chance. Boys that are ready RIGHT NOW to have something with you.You might be missing some great opportunities by staying "trapped in this relationship". That doesn't mean you should stop talking to your friend, but limiting the time you spend together could help you clear your mind.
Wish you the best. Noelia, Argentina.

I had a situation just like yours many months ago. I used to meet this "friend" of mine almost everyday and we used to be in love. He never told me the truth , but I understood his feelings while we were spending some time together, he also told his cousin, one of my best friends, that he was truly in love with me. The problem was this, he had a very bad drugs addiction. I cried a lot for him, I tried to help him in every single way but he didn't listen to any single word I said. I became addicted to him as well as he was addicted to drugs. He was ruining my life. In my case, it was all his fault because he didn't want any help, but in your case you can do a lot of things for this person. Show him that you really care, show him that life could be beautiful. Let him feel the best person on this world. When you have the possibility invite him to a long walk, look at the stars (look how they shine for you hahahaha) together. Make him understand how little things could change his life. Does he know Coldplay? Well, if he doesn't introduce him to this wonderful band, their music is like a cure to every illness! I also think that the easiest way to make him feel better is talking. Talk to him about everything, he will do the same and maybe he will start feeling a little lighter !! Don't worry if he doesn't want to tell you about his fears in the end he will surely do it, because you've gained his trust.
Bonne Chance !! Ivana , Italy

It's clear to see that you have loved him all these years. From what you say, it seems he feels the same way too. Problem in this case is the circumstances, not the present but the past.
It's not easy to deal with our past, especially our childhood because although we are aware of things, we are incapable of understanding the effects it has on us. As years go by, we begin to feel its impact.
We are all damaged in some way or the other. We learn to live and grow and love while we try to fix ourselves somehow. Sometimes we need a helping hand, whether in the form of our family, a stranger, a friend or a lover.
And perhaps you are still in touch and still together because you see something worthwhile in this friendship you share. If you decide to take the step and commit, please remember that it's going to demand a lot from both of you.
He will need to get some professional help to come to terms with his past to fully live in the present. The memory will always be there but at least he can move on.
You will need to be patient. You will need to give him time and space. He will need time to cope and time when he will want to be alone.
Think long and hard. If you feel your life may be worthless without this love, then it's worth it.
Rex, India.

Childhood traumas leave traces that shape and mark person, so his traumatic background is obviously behind many of his acts and relationships, including that one with you. You both know it and the good thing is that he is also aware of it, trying to solve it. If you are still friends and nobody has appeared on your road through years, it seems like you've been together for long. Sometimes things don't have to be answered and defined to be realized. The most important thing is to focus on your feelings and wishes about him. If you feel any emotions and you can imagine you as a couple even a little bit, then it's clear. If you can't, then why is this bothering you? It seems like you've been waiting for him to solve the situation, but first you should make clear your feelings and accept them. When you admit that you like him like a man or don't like him, I think that something will change.If you love him the way he is and could be with him, that truth will somehow move him on. If you don't love him like a man, then your heart will send those signals and you'll be able to meet other men. "Lift off this blindhold, let me see again..." You're very young, look forward to life and loves!
With love, Kamili.

First of all, as a woman, you shouldn't have to feel as if the male has to make the first move. The roles of gender have changed in today's society. Maybe your more traditional, I can't say, but if you really feel that it's right then go for it. You shouldn't have to feel frightened or hindered by opening up with him, especially since both of you are very close. On the other hand, it may be that he himself is scared or is not sure whether to let you in closer. He has had a traumatic childhood and hasn't seem to have found peace. Maybe you're the one that helps him cope with his everyday struggles, the ones people don't see. Either way, you are absolutely an important part of his life, a foundation. I'd suggest waiting for him until he's rid his "demons" and can accept you without his heavy burdens.
Much love,

I used to be in a relationship like that. We were just friends for many years, but then it started to evolve into something more. He'd been through a lot in his youth as well and even though he was seeing a therapist to work through his issues, he kept breaking it off with me. He couldn't be with someone because of those issues and traumas. We had an on again off again relationship after that for some time, but in the end I was the one that decided to end things and never see him again. It was a very tough decision but I'm glad I made it. I understand you care a lot for this person and want to be with him, but it's hard to be with someone who's still working through unsolved issues from the past. You can try and be there for him as a friend, but before you can start a relationship I think he should learn to live with what he's been through. Give him some space and who knows things might turn out for the better, but if things take a turn for the worst, be sure to end things before it takes a toll on you. Good luck! Amanda.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

November 28, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 4 December.

If you could ask your younger self one question, what would it be? Gavin, Isle of Man.
I'm adding a Q to this:
If you could give one piece of advice at the same time, what would it be? The Oracle.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to
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