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378 oracle items tagged as team oracle
August 15, 2014 / submitted by Jojo, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #180
I'm a full-time college student but I'm feeling more and more guilty and anxious about not having a job to help my family. My parents work extremely hard and I feel like they are earning just enough to pay their bills. I'm scared that they're never going to be free of their debt and me not working is not helping. They've assured me that they'd rather have me continue studying hard and getting As in school, but I still feel guilty. Coldplay's music helps me when I start to panic but sometimes it's not enough. Do you have any advice?

It's commendable you want to help your parents but, to put it bluntly, it's not your role to. That said, I don't know how old you are but if you're living rent free, perhaps you could get a part-time job and contribute towards your keep.
Your parents seem happy to support your studying and given you've stayed locally, it's saving you all money by not having the expense of living away from home.
You're entitled to have fun but it might be nice to respect the value of money while your family are going through this struggle.
If you're mindful of what you spend maybe pay them in a different way. You could contribute by helping around the house or buying things you all need such as supplies, food or any other household necessities. I'm sure that gesture will be appreciated.
Concentrating on your education will help - your parents have enough to worry about and it won't help you to worry too.
I bet they appreciate your concern but it's tough out there and many, many people are in the same boat. Who knows, you may end up in a position to help when you've graduated and are in employment. Until then, do what little you can but try not to feel guilty.
Over to you.

I felt guilty about this as well during my studies, especially when I saw that some of my friends didn't even have the choice - they just had to work to pay for college. The guilt is only a proof of how good your parents raised you Jojo, how they passed you their responsibility values, which are both the cause and, in my opinion, the solution to your problem.
I assume from what you say that you have already offered them to work and help with the bills, and that they refused. You are going to have to accept their choice and that their hard work is not only for money - it's also to be able to give you the life they want you to have : study in a comfortable and serious way (it's already a full-time job), do what you love, and enjoy life. Your good grades will be their rewards, because they are most likely to guide you to happiness and to the real, stable job that comes with it, which will help you get really autonomous. If you earn enough money then, you might even be able to help them back or cover them with gifts - this could all happen sooner than you think. Please trust them on this one, and prove that they are right by trying to be successful. Would you want your children to have a tough life to pay for something they are in no way responsible for? Good luck!
Lucas, France


I know this feeling very well but I am sure, there will once come a time, when your parents are older and will need YOUR help. For example
when they might become in need of care, aren't anymore able to do their household alone. Then YOU might have a good job and you can give them back what they did for you. This is the circle of life and love.
Coldplay music always is a good help btw.
Maren, Germany.

I believe there are things that happen that are completely out of your control. I understand how guilty it must make you feel to know that there's nothing you can do. But these things happen for a reason. When these things happen, it's so you can learn something, so you can help yourself even if you can't help others. Hope this helps. Victoria.

You don't need to feel guilty, keep studying hard because one day when you are successfully thanks to your parents you can return all the money they invested in you. But that is not the important thing here, the important thing is that your parents love you more than anything and they don't care how much money they are spending on your education, when you get to graduation they are going to feel so happy about you and the are going to think all the sacrifice that they did was for a good reason, and if you still want to work or make some money you can do it, you can sell thing that you don't need, clothes, furniture, books, etc. And there are many works where you can work a few hours. You can do it and remember your parents love you more than anything. Good night. Lizzie.

This is a time in your life when your focus and time are your greatest advantages. If your parents are encouraging you to focus on your studies so you can continue to shine at school, you should do just that. Doing fantastic in college will open up doors for you as you continue your education, and also when you graduate. While they are not everything, great college marks are persuasive and attractive to potential internship hirers and employers because they demonstrate that you have the qualities they look for in a candidate: perseverance, time management, attention to detail, commitment, etc. If you continue to harness your focus in college now, you will equip yourself with the potential to do very well for yourself when you graduate, at which point I think you may be more likely be in a financial position to help out your parents in a substantial way. For now, if it would put your mind at ease, you could see if your school has any work-study positions that would fit well with your classes, but not appropriate the time you need to study. You could also look into paid internships for the summer, through which you could make a monetary contribution to your family while cultivating a great experience to put on your resume. You are a very kind and caring person to think of your parents and empathize with their hard work, and I wish you all the success in the world. Allie.

My advice: music is one of the main things that helps people through stress and worry, Coldplay are one of those bands that do help. Listen to the lyrics they put in there songs, feel the emotion they put into it! It might help you understand that not everything you do has to involve your family. If college makes them happy it's enough, after your education you can get a well paying job that will help your parents. Study hard and listen to music (especially Coldplay) they will help you through it. Try writing lyrics and putting your feelings into it to help you, think of the positives NOT the negatives. Thanks, Sarah.

When it comes right down to it, a parent's true job is to grow a human being. Wow, what a daunting task - arriving with no instructions, speaking a foreign language, and dripping from every possible crack and crevice. Parents have to take this gift (you are the gift) and make sure that it can take care of itself, make good choices, and build some solid character along the way.

For right now, going to school is your job. Recognizing your parent's sacrifice, coupled with the fact you are concerned about their finances, makes you a pretty awesome human being. Write them a thank you note telling them that they have done a great job! Clean up after yourself, and help out when you can.
My advice to you, Jojo, is this - do your best in all things - "Do, or do not, there is no try"- Master Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back. When you do your best it minimizes regret and you'll never curse missed opportunities.
I'll let you in on a secret - you're only borrowing their wallets, you own their hearts. Graduate from college and they'll have no regret.
Be Well-Be Blessed-Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
Cheers, Dani USA.


My advice would be to get a job. If your parents are in debt try to help them out a little. Talk to them about it and agree on the amount of money you will give them every month or week(I don't think you should give all the money you earn to them, you should save up for your own future as well). Maybe it's a good idea for your parents to write down everything they spend in a month to see if they can save money on something? I'm a full-time student too and I work nights and sometimes on the weekends. It's not always easy, but lots of students do it. But if you really feel like it's becoming too much for you, listen to your parents advice and finish your school first. Education is very important. Good luck! Amanda.

I think you don't have to feel guilty. Most of the parents believe that the only valuable thing they'll give to their children is education. That's why they don't want you to be distracted. But it doesn't mean that you can't help them with some tasks. There are some options you can do.
1. Find a part time job.
2. Help them with the house work chores. You won't earn money but they'll get time to rest.
3. Remember that when you finish your studies, you'll have the opportunity to get a job which will give you the economic resources to help your family. That'll make them be so proud of you.
Best wishes Isabel, Mexico.


I think it's admirable of you to see the bigger picture with your family. I'm proud of you knowing that you are sensitive to how your parents are struggling, even though they tell you "things are okay".
Don't feel guilty. Feel empowered to help in any way that you can! Can you find a part time job, still go to classes and maintain your GPA? If you can, then go for it. Any little bit could help, maybe you could buy groceries for the week, or treat your family to something, contribute to the phone bill? Your thoughtfulness and gestures would certainly mean the world to your parents and working while attending college does look good on your resume.
You should be proud to have learned empathy and compassion. Some people never get it.
Take care of you and your family.
Wishing you continued success in your studies,
Best, Julie.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 15, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 21 August.

Currently in tears, I came out of a 9 year relationship a year a go were the other person thought it was good to purposely hurt me for their own gratification, It took over a year to get over this. I have since meet someone who is really nice and an inspiration, we are in a no commitment relationship, but when he says that he is going to come over he does not. Should I continue with this. I have know him for over 2 years and liked him from the first time I meet him. If you say your going to come over then do so, I am a pretty simple easy going person and my mum calls me a Big softy, cause all I do is help people. Should I continue with this no commitment's relationship, even though I have deep feelings for this person now, or should I just push everything down toughen up and get on with life? Miranda, Australia.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 8, 2014 / submitted by Olivia, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #179
My mom once told me that once in a person's lifetime they have this one short moment that they remember for the rest of their lives. Do you think this is true? How could one small fragment of time be so important? Olivia. USA.

I hate to disagree with your Mum, Olivia but I cannot pinpoint just one. I have SO many of those moments that I honestly wouldn't know where to start.
I do believe that one fragment of time can be so important - whether it be a life changing decision or a transient occurrence.
It could be a vow made, an achievement gained, a dream fulfilled - something ordinary or something spectacular.
I think the point is that it will mean different things to different people.
Personally I'd find it hard to single one out over another but most of my important / memorable moments do involve the band so let's say that the first time I ever saw them definitely had a life lasting impact on me.
Over to you.

Once in a while there is a special moment in time that you just can't forget. Usually, it's a different situation that includes someone that is important to you or someone that behaves different from usual. Moments like those you remember for a long time just because they aren't normal. It can be something that make you excited too. For example: I wrote for my dad's birthday that I wish my kids will adore me like I adore him and then he started to cry. This moment was just a few seconds but I'm sure that I'll remember it for the rest of my life because my dad never cries. Yuval.

I get why you're questioning what your mother told you. I consider myself to still be fairly young, so I don't have to many of those memorable moments. You can't really create them and they come out of nowhere when you least expect it. Sometimes there good, and sometimes there bad, but either way, they can be a big game changer in your life. This doesn't mean that they have to be complex either. One of my best memories (so far) was meeting one of my dearest and best friends by a chance encounter. Back in eighth grade, I had decorated my math binder with a picture of Coldplay and this girl who I didn't even know just walked up to me and said "You love Coldplay? I do to!" We talked forever and have since bonded over our passion of all things Coldplay. A very simple and short memory, yes, but an important one. I'm sure that when I'm old and grey and surrounded by grandchildren, those short fragments of time will be the ones I treasure most.
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.

In a way this is true and in a way it is not because I believe that people will have several small moments throughout their lives that will always stick with them. A lot of the time you can't see these moments coming, and they may not be the most obvious things like a first kiss or holding your first child. But sometimes you will suddenly find yourself wrapped up in a quilt of color, shapes, smells, sounds, textures, timing, people, and emotions that are somehow so perfectly knit together that it leaves a permanent impression on your soul. For me, one moment I will never be able to forget was one seemingly insignificant day that I was sat out in my grandparents backyard with my pop doing word puzzles. It probably doesn't sound like much but for some reason when I close my eyes I can relive this moment in its entirety, from the sound of his laughter to the way the warm wind tickled my cheek. Revisiting this ordinary day always warms my heart, especially now that my pop has passed because he lives on in this tiny moment. So what I have realized is that often times it really is the little things that are the most important to us as humans. As cliche as it sounds, it is the truth.
Wishing you a lifetime filled with extraordinary ordinary moments.
Alex, Canada.


Yes, it's true! Such memorable moments are usually the ones that change our lives in some way and make a huge difference to us, and that's why they're so important. People often never forget the moment when they first fall in love for real, or hold a baby for the first time. Sometimes memorable moments happen when we realize something key about ourselves. For example, I'll never forget the moment when I realized I was in a bad personal situation and had the power to get out of it. And I'll never forget seeing Coldplay for the first time! Try keeping a journal where you record important happenings or realizations each day; that will help make them easier to remember. Love, Jill in New York USA

Your mom was absolutely true! People do remember some special things when they've changed their lives or in order to learn a lesson from that event. It happens when they've been hurt badly or they've been really excited, it deals with a strong feeling anyway. It is quite rare, but it really impress them so much they just can't delete that moment from their mind anymore. They can't remove it because they find it important for some reasons, as I said previously. Everybody has its own "important fragment" to keep in its mind forever; sooner or later, it comes to anyone, and it becomes part of one's personality. It may also influence one's future actions and decisions, that's why that fragment is so relevant. Francesca.

I believe that there is one moment that is more important than the rest, but that doesn't mean that every other moment in your life is unimportant. I'm still young, but I've seen many, many important moments in my life. There is still one that sticks out more than the rest, but I believe that the most important in my life is yet to come. Until then, I'm just living the other important moments. Isaiah, USA.

The loud sound and smell of sweat at my first Coldplay concert in 2005 non stop dance and my last one at 2014 non stop dance!
Cheers to Coldplay and more great shows!
M.


If it's significant or out of the ordinary, you will tend to remember it. This doesn't happen once in a lifetime. There are many memorable moments. One memorable moment: Christmas Day 2005 - playing the card game Uno with unknown Aussie and Kiwi tourists whilst sitting on beach chairs, eating cheese and salad sandwiches and listening to Coldplay's X&Y album in the middle of the Great Rift Valley, Kenya. A true story.
Big fan, Trace.

The moment you move closer to understanding your own mortality, you suddenly realize there are many moments over your life etched into your memory as you look back in retrospection.
Some may be defining moments of picking one path over another. Other moments may be opportunities seized, remembrance for losses, and regrets for opportunities you let slip away. As I reflect over my own life, I realized that I spent way too much time living in future tense instead of the present.
If it all possible, don't wait for the moments in your life to happen instead seek them out. See something breathtakingly beautiful, conquer something you are afraid of, eat something that taste really really good why you are doing it, and don't forget to smell the roses along the way. The reason why this is so important is because your memories are your pathway to peace not your assets. Be Well, DH.


For me, it's true. I had this moment in my life that I would never ever forget. It's this moment that I shared with my childhood friend. It was summer, when we went to their place, his aunt is a friend of my aunt. When we met, I don't know but there's just this "spark" between us, it's just like a "click". And then we played together, walked alongside the river, gone fishing (he was the one who taught me how to fish) and shared what we would want to be when we grow up. Evening comes and then morning, he's the one who would wake me up every morning and tell me to play. (I'm a sleepyhead) Everything we did was like a routine in that summer that we've been together. 'Til the day comes when it's time for us to leave (me and my aunt) We bid our goodbyes and that's it. But still, we pass on messages, Yu-Gi-Oh cards (that's what we play) via our aunts. And at those times that we're not together, I realized and felt something for him. And then as days passes by,
summer came again, I'm so excited to meet him again, but when we meet, things we're different, things we're not the same again. I can't look at him directly and he too the same. And we spend the whole summer, avoiding each other. Maybe at that moment, it's that feeling that causes us to act that way towards each other. And as years passes by, we grew up and grew older. And unexpectedly we met again, I thought this time we'll greet each other knowing we're older and that we're mature. But still, it didn't turned that way, we still couldn't look directly at each other, like we did when we were kids, we're still avoiding each other. And now, when I have these times in my life when I reminisce, I kept asking myself a lot of "What Ifs?" for the two of us. But, right now, that moment we had, that short moment we had, I will forever cherish, for once in my life, I experienced that moment - that magic, that I know that only happens once. Maybe someday, somehow, it would happen again, but it would never be the same as it was at that moment. And that would always be the kind of moment that I had that I will always be nostalgic about. Zairah.

I would say without a doubt that your Mum is right, although I never had my 'moment' until I was in my early 30's.
Prior to this, I had amazing moments, such as when my two children were born, and memories that stick with me regardless of how much time passes. But the moment that seems to stay with me, not just in memory but in presence, is going to sound really soppy.. but here goes.
It's a very long and complicated story, but I got to this point when I was standing opposite my one and only (so far) soulmate. He makes eye contact, but I shyly look away. However, our eyes meet, and we look into one another's. I am lost within his soul, and he mine. This was a few years ago now (about 7), but I am still there, whenever I choose to be. Unfortunately, we are not together, and so this memory is very precious to me. Who knows, it may happen again, but if not, I have that with me, and always will.
Anon.


The moment that I'll always remember is linked to Coldplay.
I'll never forget when I saw them at the Royal Albert Hall in London!
I don't really believe that I was there with them. I think that it was a great idea makes concerts in theaters because we could see them up close and we did't feel the distance between us and them, like happens in stadiums.
We seems like a little group of friends that stay together, it was magical!
It was particularly important for me because I'm Italian and I've always dreamed to visit London and also see one of their concerts.
So I succeeded to realise a little dream!
When I saw them appeared onstage I feel unforgettable emotions that I'll take with me for the rests of my life.
Love, Eleonora.

I think a person's lifetime is made of many memories. Your life is a compilation of stories and memories. There are going to be moments that you will remember for the rest of your life because they have touched and impacted your heart and soul. For each person, it's something quite unique and personal. I think it happens at least once, if not more.
Think back on your life so far, what moments have you remembering something so wonderful that you will never forget how it made you feel.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."- Maya Angelou
Our lives are made up of those small fragments of time. Some are just more meaningful than others. At the end of our road in life, we remember those special moments while everything else just fades away.
Find your moments of greatness,
Enjoy your journey, Julie.


I think that's a very hard question because sometimes you don't know which is your memorable moment but that moment could be a worst moment too, I think is true because everybody, everyone have that moment, even the babies, I think that moment in a baby is when they born. That unique moment when you feel infinite when the only that exit is you and that important moment, just imagine, a young boy who has never seen his mother but one day fate unites them and in that moment they see each other for first time and they can't believe it, they are crying of happiness and they a feeling infinite cause they love them each other that could long less than 3 minutes, a small fragment of time but that small fragment of time is so important because you love that person, you love your mother and that moment could mean the whole world for you and that's an example of a small fragment of time when you feel infinite and unique and remember it for the rest of your life.
Thanks,
Tiara.

I'd say you accumulate many uniquely memorable short "moments" that impact you for the rest of your life. For me, there's the moment I gave birth to my daughter and met her face to face for the first time. There are no words for the awe you feel in that moment. The realization of the true power you hold in the ability to create a life renders you entirely speechless.
Branwen.


One single moment can direct our life to a new path or lead it to destruction. In an instant a trigger can be pulled, or a life saved, a kind word encourages, or a cutting remark stings.
An awakening moment, big or small- a time in our life where we make a choice or our reality is profoundly changed by an ordinary or extraordinary experience. You took a chance and never looked back or you regret the day.
A defining moment, when your character is built, when you sweep the streets you used to own. You conquered a fear or surrendered to one.
Yes, one small fragment of time can be remembered for the rest of your life.
"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us." Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Be Well - Be Blessed - Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
Cheers, Dani USA.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 8, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 14 August.

I'm a full-time college student but I'm feeling more and more guilty and anxious about not having a job to help my family. My parents work extremely hard and I feel like they are earning just enough to pay their bills. I'm scared that they're never going to be free of their debt and me not working is not helping. They've assured me that they'd rather have me continue studying hard and getting As in school, but I still feel guilty. Coldplay's music helps me when I start to panic but sometimes it's not enough. Do you have any advice? Jojo. USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line.
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 1, 2014 / submitted by Isabel, Mexico
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #178
I have this optimistic feeling around me, where everything is possible even in the darker, difficult, uncomfortable moments of life. I'm telling you this because suddenly I realized that my family is awesome even when my parents aren't the best example of a couple. They had horrible arguments in front of us; my siblings were more affected on their behaviour than me.
Now, my brother, sister and myself are in a stage where we can say we have succeeded.
I'm so proud of them, the three of us have a degree or are about to get it, so I wanted to share with the whole world their achievements as I've heard stories of children that because of their loneliness they tend to forget their dreams. My siblings are a clear example of 'being hardworking brings you hope'.
That's why I want to ask, do you have a wonderful story which makes you be proud of everyone who is around you?
Maybe my story and my question could sound silly or not enough interesting but I believe the world needs to hear or read more hopeful stories rather than harmful ones.

I chose this question because there is so much happening in the world right now that I cannot comprehend. I felt it right to pick something positive.
With that in mind, there are so many people I am proud of - some I know, some I don't - that I can't list them all.
To (not) name a few, I am proud of anyone who has:
Faced adversity and overcome it.
Ignored prejudice and judgement.
Stood up for their beliefs.
Stood up for the rights of others.
Campaigned for the greater good.
Raised awareness for something that needs to be known.
Tried their best - that's all any of us can do.
Pursued their dreams.
Lived life to the full.
If I have to name one person, I am proud of myself.
Over to you.

There needs to be more people like you in this world! I to have parents who tend to fight a lot and they do it in front of me and my siblings. Although it is not a good thing, and I strongly oppose it, I truly believe that it has made myself and my siblings stronger people and advocates for (in my personal opinion) this kind of mental abuse. I can share my experiences with other people and learn from theirs. You can either be apart of the problem or apart of the solution. So I became apart of the solution by not letting the emotional turmoil swallow me up and spit me back out into society as someone who couldn't contribute to it in a positive way. I plan on going to school to become an art teacher and my siblings are both volunteer firefighters who pour their heart and soul into doing what they love. You could say that we're doing we'll for ourself despite our setbacks and all it takes is a little determination and hard work. From the bottom of my heart, I can say that I'm so proud of everyone around me.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful success story. It feels great to be able to share mine.
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.


Yes, I have wonderful stories about many people- those who are close to me and some who are strangers. I'm thrilled to hear that you are so proud and optimistic.
You did not succeed by your own actions. Your parents did not have a parenting manual in how to raise their children. Chances are, if you ask them, they wanted to provide for you what your grandparents would or could not provide for them. Parents are not perfect people, nor should they be placed on pedestals. They do the best that they can, they make mistakes, they have feelings of doubt, sadness and anger. They make huge sacrifices on behalf of their children. Think back on your life so far and of your siblings, what sacrifices did your parents make so your lives would be better. Those sacrifices were chosen because of the unconditional love they have for all of you.
I hope your parents have shown you their open hearts -even with the tough times, they still love you and would do anything for you. Don't judge them harshly. Open your heart and give them compassion, empathy and unconditional love in return.
Your success is their success as well.
Please be mindful, thoughtful, compassionate, empathetic and unconditional in loving.
Enjoy the fruits of your labors, and remember to pay it forward.
Best to you, and your family. Julie.

As the saying goes, "Life is what you make it out to be." Even some of the most frightening or sad moments can change someone for the best. While the darker times aren't negotiable, optimism is a choice. Of course, sometimes it is harder said than done. I am proud of those around me every moment of the day. Sounds corny, but it's true. As long as I can remember I have had anxiety. Not only have my family encouraged me to conquer my fears and live my life, but they have helped me deal with the utter disappointment I have felt over missing out on opportunities. From something as simple as going to see bands live, (like Coldplay and Nickelback in Melbourne a few years ago!) to acting, I even gave up my swimming and competitions! I was unable to convince myself to go, no matter how much of my body and soul was willing me to go. I am proud of those around me for helping me through these times, not being frustrated with me and over all, for giving me new opportunities to overcome my fears. While things might be tough, family and friends to support you is all you need. I'm now starting acting and will be swimming in summer, all thanks to my amazing family! I feel I should share a quote too, so here is a quote from the late, yet immortal in our hearts, Christopher Reeve: "Once you choose hope, anything's possible."
Shannen, Australia.


My story isn't a lot different from yours actually. My parents almost divorced close to a year ago. My brother and I got closer than ever at that point because we knew that if our parents got a divorce we were the only ones there for each other to comfort one another. My mum and I didn't have the best relationship ever and I didn't want her to stress out more than she already did, so I kind of set it aside. The family was torn apart, I don't think that we even had a family to be brutally honest. I was depressed, my brother was out all night, my mother was always angry and my father alone. I didn't have any hope for the family and I lost my spark, and my dreams were destroyed. One day, the family got together to convince my mother to travel back to the KSA with us (since we stay the summer holiday in Egypt) and it went unexpectedly well. My mother and father slowly learnt to live together as I slowly recovered from depression (thanks Coldplay) and my brother spent more time with the family. I was very proud of the family because we grew together and learnt that we all have flaws. Despite the fact that my mother and father aren't the cutest and loveliest of couples (just like your parents), they are doing pretty good I'd say compared to a couple of years back. I am proud of everything we've accomplished because if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have been the person I am today. Cheers! Solaf.

" Life throws those colourful challenges on you "
Love this sentence so much and the Zane Lowe interview. I am proud I found Coldplay for the band of my life cause they are writing the soundtrack of my life and I cannot imagine a world without them.
My life wasn't and is not that easy. I got a disease when I was 11 and I was more than one time at the brink of life.
So I love the Ghost Stories message " Don't ever let go" so much that I got a tattoo.
I am also and most proud of my mum who teached me this as well. "Never give up". She is the most important person in the word to me and Julia , a wonderful friend, too. They are always there for me and SURPRISE, they are Coldplayers as well. I infected my mum. :D
Kind regards. Much love from Germany!! Maren.


They say that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift and that is true, today I am thankful for so many things, I truly believe that things happen for a reason and every mistake that I've made have been for a greater meaning,a lesson, so I'd like to tell everyone that I'm happy and proud for my family especially my sisters, we are five really hardworking women with empowerment for facing every problem in the best way, we take care of each other, we share dreams and goals. We've overcome dreadful illness... We also have a degree or are about to get it and that full me of joy! A lawyer, a fashion designer, a teacher, a doctor, and a P.R.!
Mary, Bella, Isabel, Budy and my mother Isabel are my life and I love them no matter what, I am here to remind everyone that true love exist because I feel it for my sisters! Stephanie.

Experiencing the 2nd time in a very short time, someone will die of cancer. I am grateful for all I have and I wish everybody that suffers and their family and friends to regain strength from the beauty of life. Coldplay's music makes me cry today, but tomorrow it might again make me smile. Be grateful for your life. Stay positive. Live in the now. Love. Give. Share. Tanja.

You are absolutely right! The world could definitely do with some more hopeful and happy stories. I'm glad you took the time to share yours with us:-) My wonderful story goes like this: When I was little I used to struggle with mathematics and grammar at school. So when all the other kids were playing outside, I had to stay in and make extra assignments in order to keep up. My teachers said there was no other solution to my 'problems', but I was miserable and hated going to school. My parents decided to sent me to a school for children with learning disabilities, despite all the criticism they got from the people around them. I had the time of my life there and my parents always supported and believed in me. Now, 15 years later, I'm about to graduate from university and my learning disabilities are nowhere in sight. My parents have always worked hard to achieve things in life and I'm proud to be their daughter. My favourite phrase comes from a brilliant(in my opinion) author named Douglas Adams: "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be". Amanda.

A young single mother of two girls makes the decision to lift herself away from familiar, but bad influences, leaving behind friends and bad choices. Using her strength to make conscious choices rather than just letting life happen to her. Purposefully moving herself and her daughters to a place of stability along with surrounding herself with gentleness in her home, boundaries in relationships, and no compromise in self-respect transformed her reality in a wonderful way. I find myself in awe of the way my little sister has orchestrated her life by the tough choices she has made- she is nothing short of bold and brave.
The little girl, that threatened to "tell mom" if I did not let her tag along, now is the woman that encourages me to speak my truth, to honor my sensitivity, and laughs at all my jokes. Her strength makes me fearless.
Over the years my sister has taught me that sometimes you make choices and sometimes choices make you. You can choose to rise above situations, be courageous and choose the life path you were born for. Count your demons, even if you call them friend or lover, then look them straight in the eye and tell them "I choose Me!"
Be Well - Be Blessed - Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
I am Me and I choose to Shine!
Dani USA.


I am pleased that this is such a positive assignment. I can only think of one thing that sticks in my mind. A few years back my daughter was trying to help a friend who was wrestling with a decision. She was pregnant and her boyfriend was pressuring her to abort her baby. She really did not want to abort, my daughter talked to her about other options. Since she is adopted, this led to her telling this girl her child could have a great life, she said, like hers was. As a struggling single parent back then this was music to my ears. My child was happy despite all our setbacks and obstacles. I was so proud of her that day and still am today. I have no way of knowing what this girl did but I am happy knowing my child felt her life was so worthwhile. Laurie.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 1, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 7 August.

My mom once told me that once in a person's lifetime they have this one short moment that they remember for the rest of their lives. Do you think this is true? How could one small fragment of time be so important? Olivia. USA.

Look forward to reading your views and hearing about your memorable moments.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line.
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



July 25, 2014 / submitted by Danna, United Kingdom
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #177
I would like to share a problem I have with myself. Right now I'm a school drop out, but I'm going back to school in January and after that I will go to law school. Despite that, I feel quite lost. I don't feel I'm good at something, I don't think I have a talent. I have nobody to talk about this and I was wondering if you can help me with this. Maybe some wise words or a pious lie to make me feel better. Thank you in advance.

I'll let you into a secret. With one year to go, after my O'levels but before my A'levels, I dropped out of school. I didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life but felt that school wouldn't get me there.
I spent the next two years in college to get a qualification. While waiting for my results I got a job. I then spent the next few years in that chosen career.
When I was in my mid 20s, I changed my mind. A totally new direction down a new path. I wanted to get into the music industry. I didn't know if I would be good at it, but because I had an interest in it the motivation was there - and determination.
It was hard but my passion helped drive me.
It turned out I was good at it and I guess that's what you could call my talent.
I also ended up going to night classes to get my A'levels. It felt better to go on my terms and there was no pressure on me to achieve as I was already working.
What I'm trying to say is, it's never too late. It can take time to find your path and work out what strengths you have. You won't know until you're at law school so in the meantime, don't worry. You may find law is your calling but if it isn't, you can always change.
Good luck!
Over to you.

For years I felt like I had no talent, nothing I was really good at. Years. Now that years have passed I can see why I thought that. When I thought about talent it was always something I saw other people do, like painting, designing, playing the piano, sports, music, photography, etc. We end up defining talent by what we see other people do well. (Pinterest is NOT reality!) A talent can be something as simple as making people around you smile just because you are smiling or being a good listener when someone needs it. I use to wish I could play the piano as well as my best friend or swim as awesome as my other friend but you know what, now I look at the people around me and realize there are so many other things that are waaaay more important in life and I am surrounded by people who can't play the piano or paint or sing or cook or play sports but they amaze me at all the other things they do! Things that can't be shown at a talent show or performed on a stage or displayed in a display case.??� And I bet they think they have zero talent, too. You'll figure things out. Give yourself some credit! Don't measure your self worth according to what talents you think you don't have. Always try new things and you will eventually find something you love (maybe that will be yourself!) Good luck! Carrie.

Listen dear, first thing's first, don't ever ever leave school again, whatever you do, just don't. Anyways, I know how you feel since my older brother has the exact same issue. Like I always say, don't do something if you don't feel fully indulged in it, because if you don't like it and you're stuck with it, you're going to be extremely miserable. There's always a subject of interest in any person's life and you may not know what it is but trust me, it's there! You're just going to have to look for it, and strive to find it. It's all a matter of patience and effort. Don't like something? Change it! Don't stick with it if it makes you uncomfortable, because even if you're really successful but actually depressed, it's like you've gained absolutely nothing. Each and every individual has that one thing that makes them feel passionate and euphoric, for some its sculpting, for some its drawing, for some its hunting, whatever it is it's always there, and all you've got to do is take a little break and go on a little adventure to find yours. I used to always feel talentless, but when I confronted myself I knew that I never looked hard enough. After I took my time and searched for it, I actually found it! All in all, look for that passion that will drive and motivate you, you will find it, it's lurking out there somewhere. I hope you feel better. Cheers! Solaf.

Danna, the feeling you have is quite understandable, and natural. The
road you are on is unfamiliar. That comes with feelings of uncertainty, feeling lost, like sailing without a compass. Going down the road you have travelled before is the familiar, easy way. An unknown territory or road always feels uncomfortable. But you can do it. It's quite brave what you've done so far. You have found the guts to finish school and in doing so, you acknowledged for yourself that you can do this, even if life happened to you a few years back. Well done! Next step is to trust that whatever will happen, that it will all work out right. And if not, at least you tried. Who knows, this decision might be the life experience you will look back on in a few years as being the best decision you made, in many ways. Good luck!
Another D.


You seem like you've found a new sense of control with your decision to go back to school. (Trust me, anyone who is going to law school has to have a good grip on life.) Although you've hit a bump in the road, you've just got to keep pushing through. Focus on the positive and push out the negative. You can't find yourself or your talents when that bump in the road is holding you back! School Is and always will be a very stressful place, and if you don't have a good head on your shoulders going into it, then it becomes extremely overwhelming. Who knows, maybe at law school you'll discover whether practicing law is your thing or not and if it isn't then that's okay. You have to be wiling to try and take chances or you won't even learn what you're good at and what your not good at. I'm sure that you are a wonderful, smart, beautiful human being who hasn't realized her potential but when you do, oh boy, look out, because there will be nothing to stop you!
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.

Everyone has something they're good at, so do you. Not everyone is born with natural talents, like being able to sing really well or the brains to become the next Da Vinci, but if you find something you enjoy and you put a lot of time and effort (and with a bit of luck) in it, you could make it your talent. Maybe you just haven't found your talent yet. Or maybe it's there, but you fail to notice it. Talent doesn't always have to be something big or noticeable. Maybe people find it easy to talk to you and trust you with their problems or maybe you are good at writing reports and essays, they might not be the 'talents' you were hoping for and they are more common then some other talents, but like I said just find something you enjoy, which is mostly something you're already good at, and find a way to make it your talent(i.e.: if you're good at writing, why not try to write a short story or a book?). Good luck!� Amanda.

Drifting in the emptiness is where we find ourselves. It is a time of powerful creation and change and it's never easy. Of course you have talents! You should develop and identify your interests. Here is what I've found helpful: Get a notebook. Keep it with you. Every time you wonder about something, write it down and research later. Your mind will expand: "Okay, so now I know this... that seems erroneous... where's the truth... what if this other scenario occurred?" Keep recording your musings and ideas.
This becomes a Map of Your Creative Mind. Watch it grow and expand. It's silly to think you have to have it all figured out now, as life is a journey and you never know where it will take you. You don't know who you will meet, what opportunities will come your way and what obstacles you will overcome. Maturity and mastery does not come in a day. Also, don't look so much for praise from others, or affirmation of your talents from them because most people are just as lost inside as you feel and their opinion is often a bunch of muddled rubbish anyway. People who offer lots of praise to those desperately seeking it often are manipulators and users, so best to just toss that desire off the cart. When you stop looking for the praise, a truly heartfelt and selfless affirmation given to you will be easy to identify and can be accepted quietly and humbly by your own heart.
Blessings, Branwen.

Nobody is perfect; not even the idols we believe are perfect creations of god and can do no wrong. Nothing is set in stone; there is no limitation to what we can dream and achieve. All it takes is accepting who we are, understanding our strengths and weaknesses and to try and work it towards our advantage. Surely we will make mistakes. Without them no journey is worthwhile. Learn from them and be all the wiser for it.
Talent is not always something big. It can be the smallest of things like making a baby smile. Talent is not just innate. It is also something we can develop over time. You may like something but without you persevering in that particular thing for long, till you become really good at it, no matter how many times you fail, you will never know if that is your talent or not. So, list the things you like to do and keep going at it till you find your 'talent'.
You are already on your way and doing better than most. You dropped out of school but now you are starting again. Accepting you failed and rising up again despite that failure is a sign of what true human spirit is all about. Doubt is a good thing for it tests the strength of our beliefs. But don't let it override your decisions. Continue on your journey and stop second guessing yourself.
Best wishes, Rex, India


Thank you for being brave and sharing. Sounds like you are bit stressed and overwhelmed with things that are happening and not happening in your life. Congratulations on choosing to go back to school-that's a huge step and knowing that you will be continuing onto law school? Another leap of faith by you!
As for feeling lost, not everything and everyone has a plan. Sometimes the best things in life happen when you least expect it "without" a plan. You stress more about things that might happen and create expectations for a future that you have no control over.
Don't feel lost. You may not even realise the things you are good at. You may be a great listener. Are there people and friends in your life who rely on you for that? You may be a great organizer, how else would you have gotten it all together to return to school? You must be a great debater to choose law school. Perhaps you are a great visionary with the ability to see a myriad of perspectives, certainly an asset in the law field.
Find your closest friends, family or your mentor, if you have one. Ask them honestly (and be prepared to listen) what you're really good at. Tell them that you can't see the trees from the forest right now and could really use their help. There's no harm in asking, just emotionally prepare yourself to listen with your open and vulnerable heart.
"Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure." - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Wishing you all the best, no lies... feel better soon! xx Julie

I guess that you still are young and to be honest I am a little bit jealous because you have so much in front of you.
Everyone has something they are good at and it don't have to be something "traditional", try to think "outside the box" and without limits. Maybe you have not find out your unique talent/talents yet. Write down a list of things you like and are good at, ask friends or family for help. If you feel unsure about your studies for example, you can change direction and study something else or take a year off. It is not written in stone. Try to focus on the positive things in your life and do what you want to do. Travel if you have the possibility and spend time with friends and family that makes you feel good. Trust your intuition and follow your heart. I wish you the best and good luck with everything. Love, Ann-Sofie from Sweden.


I have found that often the feeling of being lost is your Soul's way to be found. Meditation may help to guide you to the realization of all the talent that you truly do possess. As an aside, your gifts are many and you will be successful in an avenue that you have not considered. You are planning to attend law school, is this to please someone else? Remember that recognition from others has little value when you don't harbor a strong belief in your capabilities and self-worth.
When we find our path, we also find things run smoothly and easily. When we are singing our song, living life according to the flow of our path, we find happiness, joy and love. However, when we try to please others, or when our song has been thwarted or misdirected, life's waters can be harsh. It is important to be guided by your inner intuition and to honor yourself and your truth. In order to discern what is best for us, we must always choose the place of light within us that honors our true calling, and empowers our self-worth. "Do what you love and the money will follow" - Marsha Sinetar
Be Well-Be Blessed-Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken) Cheers, Dani USA.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



July 25, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 31 July.

I have this optimistic feeling around me, where everything is possible even in the darker, difficult, uncomfortable moments of life. I'm telling you this because suddenly I realized that my family is awesome even when my parents aren't the best example of a couple. They had horrible arguments in front of us; my siblings were more affected on their behaviour than me. Now, my brother, sister and myself are in a stage where we can say we have succeeded.
I'm so proud of them, the three of us have a degree or are about to get it, so I wanted to share with the whole world their achievements as I've heard stories of children that because of their loneliness they tend to forget their dreams. My siblings are a clear example of 'being hardworking brings you hope'. That's why I want to ask, do you have a wonderful story which makes you be proud of everyone who is around you?
Maybe my story and my question could sound silly or not enough interesting but I believe the world needs to hear or read more hopeful stories rather than harmful ones.
Thanks in advance, you're such a lovely person!
PS. And the last thing I want to share is my favourite phrase at the moment 'Life gives us colourful challenges' mentioned by one member of my favourite band Coldplay! Isabel, Mexico.


Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



July 11, 2014 / submitted by Tyler, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #176
I've been having a problem lately saying what I have been wanting to say for a very long time. I will get close to saying what I need to say to certain people in my life (friends, family, past flames, etc.) but at the last moment my mind stops me, like it's the wrong thing to do. I've been wanting to spill all of my thoughts into the open about how I have been miserable without certain people there as friends in my life and how maybe I need more help with sorting out my feelings, but when I get close to writing it all down or leaving messages on their phones, I see how happy they are without me in their lives and I just, I don't want to feel like I am ruining that. What do I do? Do I spill the beans to stop being miserable or do I let them be happy and go on with their lives? I wish I could let all of this go but it's just a difficult concept. Thank-you for taking the time to read this because I really appreciate it.

Let me start by wishing you a very happy birthday, Tyler! I happen to know it's your birthday so let's hope the advice below will help get the next year off to a good start.
I feel as individuals we have the right to voice our feelings and opinions without retribution. There are sayings such as 'honesty is the best policy' that I do subscribe to. Mind you, they also say 'ignorance is bliss'. The people around you don't know how you feel & it sounds like you don't want to ruin their bliss. It's not healthy to harbour these feelings inside. You need to get them out. I think the key to expressing yourself freely might be to consider the effect your words may have on someone and deliver them accordingly.
Your negative feelings may evoke another's negatives feelings and perhaps that's why you have steered clear of showing them but there are ways of saying things that could avoid any unpleasantries.
It may sound like I am contradicting myself here but what someone else thinks or feels about what you say, is their issue to deal with (and vice versa of course). The most important thing is that you put your point across and are heard.
I think you should unburden yourself but tread gently. Letters can be re-read and taken in uninterrupted but the written word can easily be misinterpreted. I suggest you talk to people face to face. It won't be easy but hopefully you will feel a huge weight has been lifted and continue to speak freely in the future.
Plan what you're going to say (write notes if it helps). Explain that you have something important to convey and if you feel it necessary, warn them that may not like what they hear. Speak slowly and make sure people let you finish before they reply. Listen to their reply and respect their response.
You can't do anything about how your words are taken or how they will answer but the main thing is to be true to yourself.
Over to you.

'If you listen to fear, then you cannot hear your heart'.
On the other side of your fear is everything you want. You just have to listen only to your heart.
We live in a crazy world and the only thing you truly have is your own heart, mind and soul.
If your heart is telling you to contact these people then please listen - this is your duty.
Whilst you may think that your strong desire to make contact is merely for your own benefit, perhaps you also need to consider the greater mystery?
It is a very sad and scary fact - but we never truly know what is happening to someone 'behind closed doors'. Whilst you think that this person seems wonderfully 'content and happy' perhaps they are being forced to hide their suffering and are in fact crying out for your help? Hence, your strong desire to contact them?  I think we have all experienced those instances when we have done something thoughtful for another person and they say "You have no idea how much I needed that today?".
The wonderful thing is that not only could you potentially help another person but you will also warm your own heart by finally being close to the person (people).
So please get writing, phoning - running! Please listen to your heart - they truly are wise and beautiful gifts.
Much love and light and blessings. Penelope.


Tyler, I can relate to you because I have felt the same way also. But let me assure you that there's nothing wrong to let your feelings float because I'm sure it has been painful to hold on things that you really want to say. Just tell your friends, family, etc what you want to say and that you need them in your life back and as human I'm sure it's such a nice feeling to be important to someone so I suggest you to open up to them. About them being happy, who knows if they actually miss you and need you also? I mean some people don't really express the way they feel out loud and you might get a mutual feeling. Plus it will be such a huge relief to let out the things that burden you. So yeah spill the beans, Tyler and good luck! Natasha.

I think I can give you a help because I can somehow identify myself with you, I got amazed.
The problem can be in yourself or in others, you can have difficult in expressing your feelings or something it's putting you uncomfortable and having difficult in expressing feelings it doesn't always mean you are a shy person, you just need a "push".
I admired the fact that you really want to get close to your friends, you should do it because you love people. People can love you if you are yourself, don't worry about it!
I can give you my example: I play guitar and would like to sing too but i'm shy enough to don't sing, I don't let that ruin my life, I can improve a little bit my skills in the guitar and show it to people and thrill with them and who knows I get inspired. Catarina.


I think I can give you a help because I can somehow identify myself with Here's a secret about people: they want to feel good about themselves. They want to be appreciated, known, and cared for by others.
With that said, if you ever ask for help from your friends, family, or anyone, that gives them a confidence boost that they're reliable, that they're trustworthy, that they're someone to go to during help. (That's why teachers are there during schools: they're there to not only teach you about subjects, but to help you in understanding them. And if you ask questions to them because you're lost, it's not because you're bothering them, but because you're looking up to them as a source for help.)
When you ask questions, you are never bothering anyone. You are showing, unconditionally, that you look up to them, that you're asking THEM for help (and that you were thinking about them)!
Let me tell you: asking for help takes a lot of courage. I believe that you are strong to ask for help, that you're grand to show that certain friends are special to you. I KNOW that you can do this, Tyler, and I KNOW that people will feel appreciated to know that you care about them.
Not a lot of people express their love to others enough. But I know that you can change that, Tyler. It took guts to ask for help, and we're here to support you every step of the way!
Do your greatest, Tyler! #YouCanDoIt! Lawrence.

It's time to speak up and be honest with your friends and family. Past flames are just that, part of your past unless you still have some current interaction with them. The sad thing is you can't be saying things are always "fine" when they're not.
All these feelings and words unsaid are being buried inside of you. One day they will all manifest in ways like stress, that affects your physical and emotional health. Worry about you first, not about what people think of you. I know peer pressure and family pressures can be very challenging and difficult. You need to take care of you and your own happiness.
Don't get me wrong, you need to find those who are closest to you. The ones who have seen you at your best and those who still stand beside you at your worst. Those are the ones who will keep your confidence and keep you honest. Ask them one day if you can be honest with them about some things that are weighing you down. If they say yes, they have given you their permission to share what ever it is you need to tell. Once you've told it, give those stories and feelings an ending, and let them go. If they still linger, then write those stories down on a piece of paper, and burn it. Once those ashes are gone, let go of the painful past, and move on.
It's hard to be in the present. You have to make a conscious effort to learn from the past and let it go. Live in the present, and welcome the future with open arms. Good things happen when you least expect them to. And usually history doesn't repeat itself.
We're given a gift of a new day with each morning. How we decide to write in our diaries each day is up to you!
Be brave. Be happy and be well. Julie.


I understand how difficult it is to tell your friends personal things, especially the first time. But non-solved problems are always getting worse, believe me. So sit down one time, take a deep breath and tell the problem in one breath. With going around the subject (as we call it in the Netherlands) makes it harder to come at the point.
You also said you don't want to ruin your friends lives. Maybe you should see it this way: When your friends see there is something and you don't tell it, they might feel very uncomfortable. Being straight forward, for now, is my advice.
Good luck, Isabelle.

You have to do things in life that make you happy. Never feel bad about wanting to express your true feelings or emotions to anyone. Keeping things bottled inside isn't helping you, it's just making you feel more stress and anxious.You need to trust in yourself, and sit the people down that you want to open up to, and then do so. You aren't ruining anyone's life by making sure the way YOU feel is known, and if anyone makes you feel that way, then wouldn't it feel good to know that, so you can continue your life journey without that baggage of the unknown? Free yourself, its okay to make anything you feel known, honest. And yeah, it's really hard to come clean about things when you've been keeping them so close to your heart, but start with one person you trust and love the most, and then tell them whats been going on and have them just listen to you. Trust me, the burden will be lifted off you, and you'll gain the confidence to make sure everyone knows your true self and feelings and you will stop hiding behind your fear. Melissa.

Write it all down, your feelings, wishes, and regrets. Get it all on paper so you can see it in black and white. You say you have been holding back for a long time, you may not even realize exactly what you want, you just know you do not want to feel the way you do right now. If apologies are in order or forgiveness is due- then give them freely without any expectations. If you walked away from relationships and now think you made a mistake, go tell them how you feel, again without expectations.
It is not other people's job to love or fix you. It is yours. Do not misunderstand me, there is NO judgment here. Feelings are not right or wrong they just are. However; how we allow those feelings to become actions or reactions is our responsibility solely. Our ego strives to make us feel okay and avoid discomfort, but sometimes a little miserable is our Soul trying to nudge us in the right direction. Speak your truth, but speak it to yourself first. Trying to recapture the past is not the way to move forward to your path. There is one day you can do nothing about, and that day is yesterday. You only have control over yourself this moment, right now, this minute. You are strong , but you cannot possibly gather all the new gifts for your life with your hands full of the past.
Be Well-Be Blessed-Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken) Dani USA.

You are right about how hard it is to be open and honest sometimes. The reason for this could be that you are fearing what kind of reaction you will get. You also mention that you feel you should' let them be happy without you in your lives'. This makes me wonder if something has happened in the past. What ever it is, ask yourself which is easier to live with; the angst you feel now, or the consequences of speaking up. This is something only you can answer, knowing the people in question, and how they will likely react. Could a greater problem result?? Or could it lead to a healing for you? Perhaps an impartial friend familiar with this could serve to give you a heads up in terms of what to expect. Good luck with it, take care, Laurie.

Tyler, the most important thing is to be true to yourself. Keeping things bottled up inside creates so much toxicity. "Do I spill the beans to stop being miserable or do I let them be happy and go on with their lives?" Perhaps there's a way for both of these outcomes to happen. Are you absolutely sure that sharing what is in your heart will be received with negativity? Are you sure that what you have to express would actually cause their happiness to decrease? So often, the mind can get going on an endless loop, escalating a situation that is really only in our thoughts. I have a feeling that if you shared with total honesty, from a place of love (without expecting something in return), you would be surprised by what may happen. Write your feelings out and then decide whether or not to share them. Sometimes just writing without filters releases the grip the unexpressed feelings have. Release it so you can move on and create the life you are meant to live. You deserve happiness, too. With love, Alia.

It makes me sad that you don't feel well. In life you share happiness and sorrow with your friends and family, that is what friends and family are for. I am sure that you will feel much better if you share your thoughts with them and I am sure that some of them will listen. If not, you will know that it's not a real friend. You write that you don't want to ruin their happy life. Things are sometimes not what it appears to be. A person who looks happy on the outside might not be happy in the inside. Life is also like a rollercoaster, it goes up and down. Maybe next time it's your turn to listen to them. I wish you the best and hope that you will feel much better when you have shared your thoughts and feelings with friends and family. Love, Ann-Sofie, Sweden.

I wonder why you feel that you would ruin their happiness by opening up to them. You've completely ruled out the possibility that you could make them happy, or at least not make them happy or sad.To me, that seems just as unrealistic as expecting to be the center of all their lives. You should remember that, yes, time has passed and people grow apart, but people can also grow closer with time and effort. So if they really do mean a lot to you, just ask yourself if they're worth the effort and the risk of putting yourself out there for a brief moment of your life. As for handling your emotions, not asking for help from friends or family will only make you feel isolated. I don't know your age but If you're old enough you could see a therapist on your own and It could be private. Trying to ignore the way you feel or assuming your feelings don't affect people around you will only lead to more complicated and negative emotions. It just doesn't work if you're trying to live a happy life. Opening up and confronting yourself will be a step forward. Hope this helps. Love, Darem.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



July 11, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply. I will be on holiday next week and so you have an extra week to get your replies in.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight (GMT) Thursday 24 July.

I would like to share a problem I have with myself. Right now I'm a school drop out, but I'm going back to school in January and after that I will go to law school. Despite that, I feel quite lost. I don't feel I'm good at something, I don't think I have a talent. I have nobody to talk about this and I was wondering if you can help me with this. Maybe some wise words or a pious lie to make me feel better. Thank you in advance. Danna. U.K.

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle.

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