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380 oracle items tagged as team oracle
August 22, 2014 / submitted by Miranda, Australia
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #181
Currently in tears, I came out of a 9 year relationship a year ago where the other person thought it was good to purposely hurt me for their own gratification.
It took over a year to get over this.
I have since met someone who is really nice and an inspiration. We are in a no commitment relationship, but when he says that he is going to come over he does not.
Should I continue with this?
I have known him for over 2 years and liked him from the first time I met him. If you say you're going to come over then do so. I am a pretty simple easy going person and my mum calls me a big softy cause all I do is help people. Should I continue with this no commitment relationship, even though I have deep feelings for this person now, or should I just push everything down toughen up and get on with life?

It does take time to get over hurt and that can be detrimental to new relationships moving forward if you haven't dealt with it.
I don't think it's a case of toughening up, more of working out what you want from a relationship.
You may be scared to commit hence getting into a noncommittal situation with this guy. However, you can't have it both ways. If there's no commitment, him not turning up is, well, not committing - as arranged.
Maybe that's just the way he is with every aspect of his life or maybe this is just showing you that he's not committed.
That said, it drives me mad when people don't do what they say and it's reasonable to let someone know that it's not cool. Tell him that if he's not going to make it over, to let you know. If he continues to let you down, decide what's acceptable and stick to it otherwise he will continue to do what he wants with little regard for what you want.

Now, I'm going to hazard a guess that what you'd really like is to be in a committed relationship with him with a cast iron guarantee that he will never hurt you. That is never going to happen.
If you're playing at being cool with this arrangement it's time for you to stop pretending and face up to what's really happening.
I hate to say it but I fear the chances are you could get hurt again because of your deep feelings for him.
You need to be honest. If you want more, talk to him. See what he thinks. If he has feelings for you too, maybe it's time to give it a go and try to have a committed relationship. You may find he doesn't feel the same but don't be surprised if he's happy with the way things are.
If you're not, you need to put an end to the arrangement.
A year isn't all that long to heal. Don't push anything down as that is not healthy. Please consider you may still have work to do to on the aftermath of your 9-year relationship.
Whatever you decide, you need to do what's best for you right now.
Over to you.

If you don't like that he doesn't come around when he says he will, why are you in a non-committed relationship at all? Be on your own until you find a decent guy who treats you with respect! Ann.

You deserve to be happy and healthy in everything including your relationships. Right now is when you need to step back and look at your current relationship objectively. Does he care about you as much as you care about him? Do you feel safe and happy around him? Does he treat you well? You should then dive deep within yourself and ask if this relationship is really a good one for you or not. All relationships have issues, but there is a line, and perhaps he is crossing it. If the only problem you have with him is that he doesn't come over when he says he will but he's there for you when you need him, has a good connection with you, treats you well, etc., then talk to him and find out why he doesn't come. His answer could determine if you should really stay with him or not.
Another thing to think about is if he is constantly making you upset or giving you that horrible pit in your stomach. If so, then you probably shouldn't continue the relationship because it's not a good one for you. If you ask me, ALL relationships have some level of commitment or they sink. If your relationship is one-ended and you're the only one trying, then it may be time to move on. You deserve nothing less than someone who has feelings as strongly for you as you do for him. Brooke.

9 years is a LONG time to be in a relationship so I honestly don't think you're ready to be in another one yet. I'd be kicking this guy to the kerb and having fun. This doesn't sound like fun when he lets you down. Be happy! Kev.UK.

He sounds like a douche! How would he like it if you didn't do what you said you were going to do when you said you were? Maybe you should try and see? If he doesn't care, there's your answer. Men don't like to be nagged and I;d bet money that he says you're nagging him if you approach him about it. Again, that will be your answer. Move on, Miranda. Betsy, Chicago.

Your last relationship ended badly after a very long time. If he didn't treat you well, I;d say the next man you spend time should be treating you like a princess! They are out there. You don't need to get too serious too soon but I don't think a no strings attached (that's what this sounds like) is rig for you - not after what you've been through. Good luck. Bonnie.

You sound like a lovely person. It sounds as if you want to please people so much that you are not taking care of you. You need to take care of you. Don't let people use you and walk all over you. Your own self esteem and self respect matter.
As for your past with a 9 yr relationship, why would you let someone "abuse" you and disrespect you?
You need to love yourself first.
You need to respect yourself first.
You need to ask for what you need, and don't settle for less.
You need to talk about your feelings and be able to have some hard conversations.
Sometimes being too kind is how you get hurt. Sadly, not everyone has your heart and your desire to help others.
You will find a "healthy" relationship where someone thinks so much of you and wants to take care of you. Someone who understands you.
Please don't settle. You are worth so much more than these 2 relationships so far.
Listen to your heart and soul.
Wishing you the best. Be brave. Take care of you. Julie.

Never make anyone to your priority when YOU are only a option to them.
You say you like to help people. This a wonderful character trait, But you should look for yourself anyway. YOU are someone, too. And you don't deserve such a "care". Put all your self-esteem and pride together and move on. Although there are deep feelings for that person. You need someone who respects you for what you are and keep their promises. You are not a toy to play with. Wish you all the best . Maren.


Hmm, what do you think a non-committed relationship is? It's what it says on the tin - exactly what this man is doing. If you don't like it, you are obviously looking for commitment so this isn't fair on either of you. Maybe you should just be friends. I hope you learn to trust again but I don't think it's going to be with this person - not unless you tell him you want to move the goalposts. Harriet, Leeds.

If a man says something like he will come over and he does not follow through, it means he does not think it is that important. If he has better things to do, well then, so should you. In my opinion, you should get out of the relationship now. Honor and respect yourself enough to know that you have a great capacity for love, and that you deserve the same kind of love in return. It will hurt to say goodbye, but you will be better off moving on now. Never waste your time and energy on people who do not treat you with respect. They are unlikely to change.
Also, try to let yourself grieve over the loss of the relationship by crying, writing in a journal, or talking to close friends or a therapist. Pushing down the pain will cause more harm to you than processing through the emotions you feel in hard times like these. You'll get over the pain more quickly and feel better about yourself. Sorry this one did not work out, but there is a wonderful, respectful and loving man out there for you somewhere. Try to be patient and wait for the man you deserve. (Actually, I'm doing the same right now.) Best of luck! Tracey.


Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 22, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 28 August.

What would you do if someone cheated on you? On one hand I think it would be
childish to take revenge, but on the other it would be impossible not to want to.
Einstein said that the intelligent people are the ones who ignore, but how could you ignore that? Thanks for reading. Maria, Venezuela.


Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 15, 2014 / submitted by Jojo, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #180
I'm a full-time college student but I'm feeling more and more guilty and anxious about not having a job to help my family. My parents work extremely hard and I feel like they are earning just enough to pay their bills. I'm scared that they're never going to be free of their debt and me not working is not helping. They've assured me that they'd rather have me continue studying hard and getting As in school, but I still feel guilty. Coldplay's music helps me when I start to panic but sometimes it's not enough. Do you have any advice?

It's commendable you want to help your parents but, to put it bluntly, it's not your role to. That said, I don't know how old you are but if you're living rent free, perhaps you could get a part-time job and contribute towards your keep.
Your parents seem happy to support your studying and given you've stayed locally, it's saving you all money by not having the expense of living away from home.
You're entitled to have fun but it might be nice to respect the value of money while your family are going through this struggle.
If you're mindful of what you spend maybe pay them in a different way. You could contribute by helping around the house or buying things you all need such as supplies, food or any other household necessities. I'm sure that gesture will be appreciated.
Concentrating on your education will help - your parents have enough to worry about and it won't help you to worry too.
I bet they appreciate your concern but it's tough out there and many, many people are in the same boat. Who knows, you may end up in a position to help when you've graduated and are in employment. Until then, do what little you can but try not to feel guilty.
Over to you.

I felt guilty about this as well during my studies, especially when I saw that some of my friends didn't even have the choice - they just had to work to pay for college. The guilt is only a proof of how good your parents raised you Jojo, how they passed you their responsibility values, which are both the cause and, in my opinion, the solution to your problem.
I assume from what you say that you have already offered them to work and help with the bills, and that they refused. You are going to have to accept their choice and that their hard work is not only for money - it's also to be able to give you the life they want you to have : study in a comfortable and serious way (it's already a full-time job), do what you love, and enjoy life. Your good grades will be their rewards, because they are most likely to guide you to happiness and to the real, stable job that comes with it, which will help you get really autonomous. If you earn enough money then, you might even be able to help them back or cover them with gifts - this could all happen sooner than you think. Please trust them on this one, and prove that they are right by trying to be successful. Would you want your children to have a tough life to pay for something they are in no way responsible for? Good luck!
Lucas, France


I know this feeling very well but I am sure, there will once come a time, when your parents are older and will need YOUR help. For example
when they might become in need of care, aren't anymore able to do their household alone. Then YOU might have a good job and you can give them back what they did for you. This is the circle of life and love.
Coldplay music always is a good help btw.
Maren, Germany.

I believe there are things that happen that are completely out of your control. I understand how guilty it must make you feel to know that there's nothing you can do. But these things happen for a reason. When these things happen, it's so you can learn something, so you can help yourself even if you can't help others. Hope this helps. Victoria.

You don't need to feel guilty, keep studying hard because one day when you are successfully thanks to your parents you can return all the money they invested in you. But that is not the important thing here, the important thing is that your parents love you more than anything and they don't care how much money they are spending on your education, when you get to graduation they are going to feel so happy about you and the are going to think all the sacrifice that they did was for a good reason, and if you still want to work or make some money you can do it, you can sell thing that you don't need, clothes, furniture, books, etc. And there are many works where you can work a few hours. You can do it and remember your parents love you more than anything. Good night. Lizzie.

This is a time in your life when your focus and time are your greatest advantages. If your parents are encouraging you to focus on your studies so you can continue to shine at school, you should do just that. Doing fantastic in college will open up doors for you as you continue your education, and also when you graduate. While they are not everything, great college marks are persuasive and attractive to potential internship hirers and employers because they demonstrate that you have the qualities they look for in a candidate: perseverance, time management, attention to detail, commitment, etc. If you continue to harness your focus in college now, you will equip yourself with the potential to do very well for yourself when you graduate, at which point I think you may be more likely be in a financial position to help out your parents in a substantial way. For now, if it would put your mind at ease, you could see if your school has any work-study positions that would fit well with your classes, but not appropriate the time you need to study. You could also look into paid internships for the summer, through which you could make a monetary contribution to your family while cultivating a great experience to put on your resume. You are a very kind and caring person to think of your parents and empathize with their hard work, and I wish you all the success in the world. Allie.

My advice: music is one of the main things that helps people through stress and worry, Coldplay are one of those bands that do help. Listen to the lyrics they put in there songs, feel the emotion they put into it! It might help you understand that not everything you do has to involve your family. If college makes them happy it's enough, after your education you can get a well paying job that will help your parents. Study hard and listen to music (especially Coldplay) they will help you through it. Try writing lyrics and putting your feelings into it to help you, think of the positives NOT the negatives. Thanks, Sarah.

When it comes right down to it, a parent's true job is to grow a human being. Wow, what a daunting task - arriving with no instructions, speaking a foreign language, and dripping from every possible crack and crevice. Parents have to take this gift (you are the gift) and make sure that it can take care of itself, make good choices, and build some solid character along the way.

For right now, going to school is your job. Recognizing your parent's sacrifice, coupled with the fact you are concerned about their finances, makes you a pretty awesome human being. Write them a thank you note telling them that they have done a great job! Clean up after yourself, and help out when you can.
My advice to you, Jojo, is this - do your best in all things - "Do, or do not, there is no try"- Master Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back. When you do your best it minimizes regret and you'll never curse missed opportunities.
I'll let you in on a secret - you're only borrowing their wallets, you own their hearts. Graduate from college and they'll have no regret.
Be Well-Be Blessed-Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
Cheers, Dani USA.


My advice would be to get a job. If your parents are in debt try to help them out a little. Talk to them about it and agree on the amount of money you will give them every month or week(I don't think you should give all the money you earn to them, you should save up for your own future as well). Maybe it's a good idea for your parents to write down everything they spend in a month to see if they can save money on something? I'm a full-time student too and I work nights and sometimes on the weekends. It's not always easy, but lots of students do it. But if you really feel like it's becoming too much for you, listen to your parents advice and finish your school first. Education is very important. Good luck! Amanda.

I think you don't have to feel guilty. Most of the parents believe that the only valuable thing they'll give to their children is education. That's why they don't want you to be distracted. But it doesn't mean that you can't help them with some tasks. There are some options you can do.
1. Find a part time job.
2. Help them with the house work chores. You won't earn money but they'll get time to rest.
3. Remember that when you finish your studies, you'll have the opportunity to get a job which will give you the economic resources to help your family. That'll make them be so proud of you.
Best wishes Isabel, Mexico.


I think it's admirable of you to see the bigger picture with your family. I'm proud of you knowing that you are sensitive to how your parents are struggling, even though they tell you "things are okay".
Don't feel guilty. Feel empowered to help in any way that you can! Can you find a part time job, still go to classes and maintain your GPA? If you can, then go for it. Any little bit could help, maybe you could buy groceries for the week, or treat your family to something, contribute to the phone bill? Your thoughtfulness and gestures would certainly mean the world to your parents and working while attending college does look good on your resume.
You should be proud to have learned empathy and compassion. Some people never get it.
Take care of you and your family.
Wishing you continued success in your studies,
Best, Julie.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 15, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 21 August.

Currently in tears, I came out of a 9 year relationship a year a go were the other person thought it was good to purposely hurt me for their own gratification, It took over a year to get over this. I have since meet someone who is really nice and an inspiration, we are in a no commitment relationship, but when he says that he is going to come over he does not. Should I continue with this. I have know him for over 2 years and liked him from the first time I meet him. If you say your going to come over then do so, I am a pretty simple easy going person and my mum calls me a Big softy, cause all I do is help people. Should I continue with this no commitment's relationship, even though I have deep feelings for this person now, or should I just push everything down toughen up and get on with life? Miranda, Australia.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 8, 2014 / submitted by Olivia, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #179
My mom once told me that once in a person's lifetime they have this one short moment that they remember for the rest of their lives. Do you think this is true? How could one small fragment of time be so important? Olivia. USA.

I hate to disagree with your Mum, Olivia but I cannot pinpoint just one. I have SO many of those moments that I honestly wouldn't know where to start.
I do believe that one fragment of time can be so important - whether it be a life changing decision or a transient occurrence.
It could be a vow made, an achievement gained, a dream fulfilled - something ordinary or something spectacular.
I think the point is that it will mean different things to different people.
Personally I'd find it hard to single one out over another but most of my important / memorable moments do involve the band so let's say that the first time I ever saw them definitely had a life lasting impact on me.
Over to you.

Once in a while there is a special moment in time that you just can't forget. Usually, it's a different situation that includes someone that is important to you or someone that behaves different from usual. Moments like those you remember for a long time just because they aren't normal. It can be something that make you excited too. For example: I wrote for my dad's birthday that I wish my kids will adore me like I adore him and then he started to cry. This moment was just a few seconds but I'm sure that I'll remember it for the rest of my life because my dad never cries. Yuval.

I get why you're questioning what your mother told you. I consider myself to still be fairly young, so I don't have to many of those memorable moments. You can't really create them and they come out of nowhere when you least expect it. Sometimes there good, and sometimes there bad, but either way, they can be a big game changer in your life. This doesn't mean that they have to be complex either. One of my best memories (so far) was meeting one of my dearest and best friends by a chance encounter. Back in eighth grade, I had decorated my math binder with a picture of Coldplay and this girl who I didn't even know just walked up to me and said "You love Coldplay? I do to!" We talked forever and have since bonded over our passion of all things Coldplay. A very simple and short memory, yes, but an important one. I'm sure that when I'm old and grey and surrounded by grandchildren, those short fragments of time will be the ones I treasure most.
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.

In a way this is true and in a way it is not because I believe that people will have several small moments throughout their lives that will always stick with them. A lot of the time you can't see these moments coming, and they may not be the most obvious things like a first kiss or holding your first child. But sometimes you will suddenly find yourself wrapped up in a quilt of color, shapes, smells, sounds, textures, timing, people, and emotions that are somehow so perfectly knit together that it leaves a permanent impression on your soul. For me, one moment I will never be able to forget was one seemingly insignificant day that I was sat out in my grandparents backyard with my pop doing word puzzles. It probably doesn't sound like much but for some reason when I close my eyes I can relive this moment in its entirety, from the sound of his laughter to the way the warm wind tickled my cheek. Revisiting this ordinary day always warms my heart, especially now that my pop has passed because he lives on in this tiny moment. So what I have realized is that often times it really is the little things that are the most important to us as humans. As cliche as it sounds, it is the truth.
Wishing you a lifetime filled with extraordinary ordinary moments.
Alex, Canada.


Yes, it's true! Such memorable moments are usually the ones that change our lives in some way and make a huge difference to us, and that's why they're so important. People often never forget the moment when they first fall in love for real, or hold a baby for the first time. Sometimes memorable moments happen when we realize something key about ourselves. For example, I'll never forget the moment when I realized I was in a bad personal situation and had the power to get out of it. And I'll never forget seeing Coldplay for the first time! Try keeping a journal where you record important happenings or realizations each day; that will help make them easier to remember. Love, Jill in New York USA

Your mom was absolutely true! People do remember some special things when they've changed their lives or in order to learn a lesson from that event. It happens when they've been hurt badly or they've been really excited, it deals with a strong feeling anyway. It is quite rare, but it really impress them so much they just can't delete that moment from their mind anymore. They can't remove it because they find it important for some reasons, as I said previously. Everybody has its own "important fragment" to keep in its mind forever; sooner or later, it comes to anyone, and it becomes part of one's personality. It may also influence one's future actions and decisions, that's why that fragment is so relevant. Francesca.

I believe that there is one moment that is more important than the rest, but that doesn't mean that every other moment in your life is unimportant. I'm still young, but I've seen many, many important moments in my life. There is still one that sticks out more than the rest, but I believe that the most important in my life is yet to come. Until then, I'm just living the other important moments. Isaiah, USA.

The loud sound and smell of sweat at my first Coldplay concert in 2005 non stop dance and my last one at 2014 non stop dance!
Cheers to Coldplay and more great shows!
M.


If it's significant or out of the ordinary, you will tend to remember it. This doesn't happen once in a lifetime. There are many memorable moments. One memorable moment: Christmas Day 2005 - playing the card game Uno with unknown Aussie and Kiwi tourists whilst sitting on beach chairs, eating cheese and salad sandwiches and listening to Coldplay's X&Y album in the middle of the Great Rift Valley, Kenya. A true story.
Big fan, Trace.

The moment you move closer to understanding your own mortality, you suddenly realize there are many moments over your life etched into your memory as you look back in retrospection.
Some may be defining moments of picking one path over another. Other moments may be opportunities seized, remembrance for losses, and regrets for opportunities you let slip away. As I reflect over my own life, I realized that I spent way too much time living in future tense instead of the present.
If it all possible, don't wait for the moments in your life to happen instead seek them out. See something breathtakingly beautiful, conquer something you are afraid of, eat something that taste really really good why you are doing it, and don't forget to smell the roses along the way. The reason why this is so important is because your memories are your pathway to peace not your assets. Be Well, DH.


For me, it's true. I had this moment in my life that I would never ever forget. It's this moment that I shared with my childhood friend. It was summer, when we went to their place, his aunt is a friend of my aunt. When we met, I don't know but there's just this "spark" between us, it's just like a "click". And then we played together, walked alongside the river, gone fishing (he was the one who taught me how to fish) and shared what we would want to be when we grow up. Evening comes and then morning, he's the one who would wake me up every morning and tell me to play. (I'm a sleepyhead) Everything we did was like a routine in that summer that we've been together. 'Til the day comes when it's time for us to leave (me and my aunt) We bid our goodbyes and that's it. But still, we pass on messages, Yu-Gi-Oh cards (that's what we play) via our aunts. And at those times that we're not together, I realized and felt something for him. And then as days passes by,
summer came again, I'm so excited to meet him again, but when we meet, things we're different, things we're not the same again. I can't look at him directly and he too the same. And we spend the whole summer, avoiding each other. Maybe at that moment, it's that feeling that causes us to act that way towards each other. And as years passes by, we grew up and grew older. And unexpectedly we met again, I thought this time we'll greet each other knowing we're older and that we're mature. But still, it didn't turned that way, we still couldn't look directly at each other, like we did when we were kids, we're still avoiding each other. And now, when I have these times in my life when I reminisce, I kept asking myself a lot of "What Ifs?" for the two of us. But, right now, that moment we had, that short moment we had, I will forever cherish, for once in my life, I experienced that moment - that magic, that I know that only happens once. Maybe someday, somehow, it would happen again, but it would never be the same as it was at that moment. And that would always be the kind of moment that I had that I will always be nostalgic about. Zairah.

I would say without a doubt that your Mum is right, although I never had my 'moment' until I was in my early 30's.
Prior to this, I had amazing moments, such as when my two children were born, and memories that stick with me regardless of how much time passes. But the moment that seems to stay with me, not just in memory but in presence, is going to sound really soppy.. but here goes.
It's a very long and complicated story, but I got to this point when I was standing opposite my one and only (so far) soulmate. He makes eye contact, but I shyly look away. However, our eyes meet, and we look into one another's. I am lost within his soul, and he mine. This was a few years ago now (about 7), but I am still there, whenever I choose to be. Unfortunately, we are not together, and so this memory is very precious to me. Who knows, it may happen again, but if not, I have that with me, and always will.
Anon.


The moment that I'll always remember is linked to Coldplay.
I'll never forget when I saw them at the Royal Albert Hall in London!
I don't really believe that I was there with them. I think that it was a great idea makes concerts in theaters because we could see them up close and we did't feel the distance between us and them, like happens in stadiums.
We seems like a little group of friends that stay together, it was magical!
It was particularly important for me because I'm Italian and I've always dreamed to visit London and also see one of their concerts.
So I succeeded to realise a little dream!
When I saw them appeared onstage I feel unforgettable emotions that I'll take with me for the rests of my life.
Love, Eleonora.

I think a person's lifetime is made of many memories. Your life is a compilation of stories and memories. There are going to be moments that you will remember for the rest of your life because they have touched and impacted your heart and soul. For each person, it's something quite unique and personal. I think it happens at least once, if not more.
Think back on your life so far, what moments have you remembering something so wonderful that you will never forget how it made you feel.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."- Maya Angelou
Our lives are made up of those small fragments of time. Some are just more meaningful than others. At the end of our road in life, we remember those special moments while everything else just fades away.
Find your moments of greatness,
Enjoy your journey, Julie.


I think that's a very hard question because sometimes you don't know which is your memorable moment but that moment could be a worst moment too, I think is true because everybody, everyone have that moment, even the babies, I think that moment in a baby is when they born. That unique moment when you feel infinite when the only that exit is you and that important moment, just imagine, a young boy who has never seen his mother but one day fate unites them and in that moment they see each other for first time and they can't believe it, they are crying of happiness and they a feeling infinite cause they love them each other that could long less than 3 minutes, a small fragment of time but that small fragment of time is so important because you love that person, you love your mother and that moment could mean the whole world for you and that's an example of a small fragment of time when you feel infinite and unique and remember it for the rest of your life.
Thanks,
Tiara.

I'd say you accumulate many uniquely memorable short "moments" that impact you for the rest of your life. For me, there's the moment I gave birth to my daughter and met her face to face for the first time. There are no words for the awe you feel in that moment. The realization of the true power you hold in the ability to create a life renders you entirely speechless.
Branwen.


One single moment can direct our life to a new path or lead it to destruction. In an instant a trigger can be pulled, or a life saved, a kind word encourages, or a cutting remark stings.
An awakening moment, big or small- a time in our life where we make a choice or our reality is profoundly changed by an ordinary or extraordinary experience. You took a chance and never looked back or you regret the day.
A defining moment, when your character is built, when you sweep the streets you used to own. You conquered a fear or surrendered to one.
Yes, one small fragment of time can be remembered for the rest of your life.
"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us." Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Be Well - Be Blessed - Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
Cheers, Dani USA.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 8, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 14 August.

I'm a full-time college student but I'm feeling more and more guilty and anxious about not having a job to help my family. My parents work extremely hard and I feel like they are earning just enough to pay their bills. I'm scared that they're never going to be free of their debt and me not working is not helping. They've assured me that they'd rather have me continue studying hard and getting As in school, but I still feel guilty. Coldplay's music helps me when I start to panic but sometimes it's not enough. Do you have any advice? Jojo. USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line.
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 1, 2014 / submitted by Isabel, Mexico
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #178
I have this optimistic feeling around me, where everything is possible even in the darker, difficult, uncomfortable moments of life. I'm telling you this because suddenly I realized that my family is awesome even when my parents aren't the best example of a couple. They had horrible arguments in front of us; my siblings were more affected on their behaviour than me.
Now, my brother, sister and myself are in a stage where we can say we have succeeded.
I'm so proud of them, the three of us have a degree or are about to get it, so I wanted to share with the whole world their achievements as I've heard stories of children that because of their loneliness they tend to forget their dreams. My siblings are a clear example of 'being hardworking brings you hope'.
That's why I want to ask, do you have a wonderful story which makes you be proud of everyone who is around you?
Maybe my story and my question could sound silly or not enough interesting but I believe the world needs to hear or read more hopeful stories rather than harmful ones.

I chose this question because there is so much happening in the world right now that I cannot comprehend. I felt it right to pick something positive.
With that in mind, there are so many people I am proud of - some I know, some I don't - that I can't list them all.
To (not) name a few, I am proud of anyone who has:
Faced adversity and overcome it.
Ignored prejudice and judgement.
Stood up for their beliefs.
Stood up for the rights of others.
Campaigned for the greater good.
Raised awareness for something that needs to be known.
Tried their best - that's all any of us can do.
Pursued their dreams.
Lived life to the full.
If I have to name one person, I am proud of myself.
Over to you.

There needs to be more people like you in this world! I to have parents who tend to fight a lot and they do it in front of me and my siblings. Although it is not a good thing, and I strongly oppose it, I truly believe that it has made myself and my siblings stronger people and advocates for (in my personal opinion) this kind of mental abuse. I can share my experiences with other people and learn from theirs. You can either be apart of the problem or apart of the solution. So I became apart of the solution by not letting the emotional turmoil swallow me up and spit me back out into society as someone who couldn't contribute to it in a positive way. I plan on going to school to become an art teacher and my siblings are both volunteer firefighters who pour their heart and soul into doing what they love. You could say that we're doing we'll for ourself despite our setbacks and all it takes is a little determination and hard work. From the bottom of my heart, I can say that I'm so proud of everyone around me.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful success story. It feels great to be able to share mine.
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.


Yes, I have wonderful stories about many people- those who are close to me and some who are strangers. I'm thrilled to hear that you are so proud and optimistic.
You did not succeed by your own actions. Your parents did not have a parenting manual in how to raise their children. Chances are, if you ask them, they wanted to provide for you what your grandparents would or could not provide for them. Parents are not perfect people, nor should they be placed on pedestals. They do the best that they can, they make mistakes, they have feelings of doubt, sadness and anger. They make huge sacrifices on behalf of their children. Think back on your life so far and of your siblings, what sacrifices did your parents make so your lives would be better. Those sacrifices were chosen because of the unconditional love they have for all of you.
I hope your parents have shown you their open hearts -even with the tough times, they still love you and would do anything for you. Don't judge them harshly. Open your heart and give them compassion, empathy and unconditional love in return.
Your success is their success as well.
Please be mindful, thoughtful, compassionate, empathetic and unconditional in loving.
Enjoy the fruits of your labors, and remember to pay it forward.
Best to you, and your family. Julie.

As the saying goes, "Life is what you make it out to be." Even some of the most frightening or sad moments can change someone for the best. While the darker times aren't negotiable, optimism is a choice. Of course, sometimes it is harder said than done. I am proud of those around me every moment of the day. Sounds corny, but it's true. As long as I can remember I have had anxiety. Not only have my family encouraged me to conquer my fears and live my life, but they have helped me deal with the utter disappointment I have felt over missing out on opportunities. From something as simple as going to see bands live, (like Coldplay and Nickelback in Melbourne a few years ago!) to acting, I even gave up my swimming and competitions! I was unable to convince myself to go, no matter how much of my body and soul was willing me to go. I am proud of those around me for helping me through these times, not being frustrated with me and over all, for giving me new opportunities to overcome my fears. While things might be tough, family and friends to support you is all you need. I'm now starting acting and will be swimming in summer, all thanks to my amazing family! I feel I should share a quote too, so here is a quote from the late, yet immortal in our hearts, Christopher Reeve: "Once you choose hope, anything's possible."
Shannen, Australia.


My story isn't a lot different from yours actually. My parents almost divorced close to a year ago. My brother and I got closer than ever at that point because we knew that if our parents got a divorce we were the only ones there for each other to comfort one another. My mum and I didn't have the best relationship ever and I didn't want her to stress out more than she already did, so I kind of set it aside. The family was torn apart, I don't think that we even had a family to be brutally honest. I was depressed, my brother was out all night, my mother was always angry and my father alone. I didn't have any hope for the family and I lost my spark, and my dreams were destroyed. One day, the family got together to convince my mother to travel back to the KSA with us (since we stay the summer holiday in Egypt) and it went unexpectedly well. My mother and father slowly learnt to live together as I slowly recovered from depression (thanks Coldplay) and my brother spent more time with the family. I was very proud of the family because we grew together and learnt that we all have flaws. Despite the fact that my mother and father aren't the cutest and loveliest of couples (just like your parents), they are doing pretty good I'd say compared to a couple of years back. I am proud of everything we've accomplished because if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have been the person I am today. Cheers! Solaf.

" Life throws those colourful challenges on you "
Love this sentence so much and the Zane Lowe interview. I am proud I found Coldplay for the band of my life cause they are writing the soundtrack of my life and I cannot imagine a world without them.
My life wasn't and is not that easy. I got a disease when I was 11 and I was more than one time at the brink of life.
So I love the Ghost Stories message " Don't ever let go" so much that I got a tattoo.
I am also and most proud of my mum who teached me this as well. "Never give up". She is the most important person in the word to me and Julia , a wonderful friend, too. They are always there for me and SURPRISE, they are Coldplayers as well. I infected my mum. :D
Kind regards. Much love from Germany!! Maren.


They say that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift and that is true, today I am thankful for so many things, I truly believe that things happen for a reason and every mistake that I've made have been for a greater meaning,a lesson, so I'd like to tell everyone that I'm happy and proud for my family especially my sisters, we are five really hardworking women with empowerment for facing every problem in the best way, we take care of each other, we share dreams and goals. We've overcome dreadful illness... We also have a degree or are about to get it and that full me of joy! A lawyer, a fashion designer, a teacher, a doctor, and a P.R.!
Mary, Bella, Isabel, Budy and my mother Isabel are my life and I love them no matter what, I am here to remind everyone that true love exist because I feel it for my sisters! Stephanie.

Experiencing the 2nd time in a very short time, someone will die of cancer. I am grateful for all I have and I wish everybody that suffers and their family and friends to regain strength from the beauty of life. Coldplay's music makes me cry today, but tomorrow it might again make me smile. Be grateful for your life. Stay positive. Live in the now. Love. Give. Share. Tanja.

You are absolutely right! The world could definitely do with some more hopeful and happy stories. I'm glad you took the time to share yours with us:-) My wonderful story goes like this: When I was little I used to struggle with mathematics and grammar at school. So when all the other kids were playing outside, I had to stay in and make extra assignments in order to keep up. My teachers said there was no other solution to my 'problems', but I was miserable and hated going to school. My parents decided to sent me to a school for children with learning disabilities, despite all the criticism they got from the people around them. I had the time of my life there and my parents always supported and believed in me. Now, 15 years later, I'm about to graduate from university and my learning disabilities are nowhere in sight. My parents have always worked hard to achieve things in life and I'm proud to be their daughter. My favourite phrase comes from a brilliant(in my opinion) author named Douglas Adams: "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be". Amanda.

A young single mother of two girls makes the decision to lift herself away from familiar, but bad influences, leaving behind friends and bad choices. Using her strength to make conscious choices rather than just letting life happen to her. Purposefully moving herself and her daughters to a place of stability along with surrounding herself with gentleness in her home, boundaries in relationships, and no compromise in self-respect transformed her reality in a wonderful way. I find myself in awe of the way my little sister has orchestrated her life by the tough choices she has made- she is nothing short of bold and brave.
The little girl, that threatened to "tell mom" if I did not let her tag along, now is the woman that encourages me to speak my truth, to honor my sensitivity, and laughs at all my jokes. Her strength makes me fearless.
Over the years my sister has taught me that sometimes you make choices and sometimes choices make you. You can choose to rise above situations, be courageous and choose the life path you were born for. Count your demons, even if you call them friend or lover, then look them straight in the eye and tell them "I choose Me!"
Be Well - Be Blessed - Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
I am Me and I choose to Shine!
Dani USA.


I am pleased that this is such a positive assignment. I can only think of one thing that sticks in my mind. A few years back my daughter was trying to help a friend who was wrestling with a decision. She was pregnant and her boyfriend was pressuring her to abort her baby. She really did not want to abort, my daughter talked to her about other options. Since she is adopted, this led to her telling this girl her child could have a great life, she said, like hers was. As a struggling single parent back then this was music to my ears. My child was happy despite all our setbacks and obstacles. I was so proud of her that day and still am today. I have no way of knowing what this girl did but I am happy knowing my child felt her life was so worthwhile. Laurie.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 1, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 7 August.

My mom once told me that once in a person's lifetime they have this one short moment that they remember for the rest of their lives. Do you think this is true? How could one small fragment of time be so important? Olivia. USA.

Look forward to reading your views and hearing about your memorable moments.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line.
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



July 25, 2014 / submitted by Danna, United Kingdom
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #177
I would like to share a problem I have with myself. Right now I'm a school drop out, but I'm going back to school in January and after that I will go to law school. Despite that, I feel quite lost. I don't feel I'm good at something, I don't think I have a talent. I have nobody to talk about this and I was wondering if you can help me with this. Maybe some wise words or a pious lie to make me feel better. Thank you in advance.

I'll let you into a secret. With one year to go, after my O'levels but before my A'levels, I dropped out of school. I didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life but felt that school wouldn't get me there.
I spent the next two years in college to get a qualification. While waiting for my results I got a job. I then spent the next few years in that chosen career.
When I was in my mid 20s, I changed my mind. A totally new direction down a new path. I wanted to get into the music industry. I didn't know if I would be good at it, but because I had an interest in it the motivation was there - and determination.
It was hard but my passion helped drive me.
It turned out I was good at it and I guess that's what you could call my talent.
I also ended up going to night classes to get my A'levels. It felt better to go on my terms and there was no pressure on me to achieve as I was already working.
What I'm trying to say is, it's never too late. It can take time to find your path and work out what strengths you have. You won't know until you're at law school so in the meantime, don't worry. You may find law is your calling but if it isn't, you can always change.
Good luck!
Over to you.

For years I felt like I had no talent, nothing I was really good at. Years. Now that years have passed I can see why I thought that. When I thought about talent it was always something I saw other people do, like painting, designing, playing the piano, sports, music, photography, etc. We end up defining talent by what we see other people do well. (Pinterest is NOT reality!) A talent can be something as simple as making people around you smile just because you are smiling or being a good listener when someone needs it. I use to wish I could play the piano as well as my best friend or swim as awesome as my other friend but you know what, now I look at the people around me and realize there are so many other things that are waaaay more important in life and I am surrounded by people who can't play the piano or paint or sing or cook or play sports but they amaze me at all the other things they do! Things that can't be shown at a talent show or performed on a stage or displayed in a display case.??� And I bet they think they have zero talent, too. You'll figure things out. Give yourself some credit! Don't measure your self worth according to what talents you think you don't have. Always try new things and you will eventually find something you love (maybe that will be yourself!) Good luck! Carrie.

Listen dear, first thing's first, don't ever ever leave school again, whatever you do, just don't. Anyways, I know how you feel since my older brother has the exact same issue. Like I always say, don't do something if you don't feel fully indulged in it, because if you don't like it and you're stuck with it, you're going to be extremely miserable. There's always a subject of interest in any person's life and you may not know what it is but trust me, it's there! You're just going to have to look for it, and strive to find it. It's all a matter of patience and effort. Don't like something? Change it! Don't stick with it if it makes you uncomfortable, because even if you're really successful but actually depressed, it's like you've gained absolutely nothing. Each and every individual has that one thing that makes them feel passionate and euphoric, for some its sculpting, for some its drawing, for some its hunting, whatever it is it's always there, and all you've got to do is take a little break and go on a little adventure to find yours. I used to always feel talentless, but when I confronted myself I knew that I never looked hard enough. After I took my time and searched for it, I actually found it! All in all, look for that passion that will drive and motivate you, you will find it, it's lurking out there somewhere. I hope you feel better. Cheers! Solaf.

Danna, the feeling you have is quite understandable, and natural. The
road you are on is unfamiliar. That comes with feelings of uncertainty, feeling lost, like sailing without a compass. Going down the road you have travelled before is the familiar, easy way. An unknown territory or road always feels uncomfortable. But you can do it. It's quite brave what you've done so far. You have found the guts to finish school and in doing so, you acknowledged for yourself that you can do this, even if life happened to you a few years back. Well done! Next step is to trust that whatever will happen, that it will all work out right. And if not, at least you tried. Who knows, this decision might be the life experience you will look back on in a few years as being the best decision you made, in many ways. Good luck!
Another D.


You seem like you've found a new sense of control with your decision to go back to school. (Trust me, anyone who is going to law school has to have a good grip on life.) Although you've hit a bump in the road, you've just got to keep pushing through. Focus on the positive and push out the negative. You can't find yourself or your talents when that bump in the road is holding you back! School Is and always will be a very stressful place, and if you don't have a good head on your shoulders going into it, then it becomes extremely overwhelming. Who knows, maybe at law school you'll discover whether practicing law is your thing or not and if it isn't then that's okay. You have to be wiling to try and take chances or you won't even learn what you're good at and what your not good at. I'm sure that you are a wonderful, smart, beautiful human being who hasn't realized her potential but when you do, oh boy, look out, because there will be nothing to stop you!
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.

Everyone has something they're good at, so do you. Not everyone is born with natural talents, like being able to sing really well or the brains to become the next Da Vinci, but if you find something you enjoy and you put a lot of time and effort (and with a bit of luck) in it, you could make it your talent. Maybe you just haven't found your talent yet. Or maybe it's there, but you fail to notice it. Talent doesn't always have to be something big or noticeable. Maybe people find it easy to talk to you and trust you with their problems or maybe you are good at writing reports and essays, they might not be the 'talents' you were hoping for and they are more common then some other talents, but like I said just find something you enjoy, which is mostly something you're already good at, and find a way to make it your talent(i.e.: if you're good at writing, why not try to write a short story or a book?). Good luck!� Amanda.

Drifting in the emptiness is where we find ourselves. It is a time of powerful creation and change and it's never easy. Of course you have talents! You should develop and identify your interests. Here is what I've found helpful: Get a notebook. Keep it with you. Every time you wonder about something, write it down and research later. Your mind will expand: "Okay, so now I know this... that seems erroneous... where's the truth... what if this other scenario occurred?" Keep recording your musings and ideas.
This becomes a Map of Your Creative Mind. Watch it grow and expand. It's silly to think you have to have it all figured out now, as life is a journey and you never know where it will take you. You don't know who you will meet, what opportunities will come your way and what obstacles you will overcome. Maturity and mastery does not come in a day. Also, don't look so much for praise from others, or affirmation of your talents from them because most people are just as lost inside as you feel and their opinion is often a bunch of muddled rubbish anyway. People who offer lots of praise to those desperately seeking it often are manipulators and users, so best to just toss that desire off the cart. When you stop looking for the praise, a truly heartfelt and selfless affirmation given to you will be easy to identify and can be accepted quietly and humbly by your own heart.
Blessings, Branwen.

Nobody is perfect; not even the idols we believe are perfect creations of god and can do no wrong. Nothing is set in stone; there is no limitation to what we can dream and achieve. All it takes is accepting who we are, understanding our strengths and weaknesses and to try and work it towards our advantage. Surely we will make mistakes. Without them no journey is worthwhile. Learn from them and be all the wiser for it.
Talent is not always something big. It can be the smallest of things like making a baby smile. Talent is not just innate. It is also something we can develop over time. You may like something but without you persevering in that particular thing for long, till you become really good at it, no matter how many times you fail, you will never know if that is your talent or not. So, list the things you like to do and keep going at it till you find your 'talent'.
You are already on your way and doing better than most. You dropped out of school but now you are starting again. Accepting you failed and rising up again despite that failure is a sign of what true human spirit is all about. Doubt is a good thing for it tests the strength of our beliefs. But don't let it override your decisions. Continue on your journey and stop second guessing yourself.
Best wishes, Rex, India


Thank you for being brave and sharing. Sounds like you are bit stressed and overwhelmed with things that are happening and not happening in your life. Congratulations on choosing to go back to school-that's a huge step and knowing that you will be continuing onto law school? Another leap of faith by you!
As for feeling lost, not everything and everyone has a plan. Sometimes the best things in life happen when you least expect it "without" a plan. You stress more about things that might happen and create expectations for a future that you have no control over.
Don't feel lost. You may not even realise the things you are good at. You may be a great listener. Are there people and friends in your life who rely on you for that? You may be a great organizer, how else would you have gotten it all together to return to school? You must be a great debater to choose law school. Perhaps you are a great visionary with the ability to see a myriad of perspectives, certainly an asset in the law field.
Find your closest friends, family or your mentor, if you have one. Ask them honestly (and be prepared to listen) what you're really good at. Tell them that you can't see the trees from the forest right now and could really use their help. There's no harm in asking, just emotionally prepare yourself to listen with your open and vulnerable heart.
"Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure." - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Wishing you all the best, no lies... feel better soon! xx Julie

I guess that you still are young and to be honest I am a little bit jealous because you have so much in front of you.
Everyone has something they are good at and it don't have to be something "traditional", try to think "outside the box" and without limits. Maybe you have not find out your unique talent/talents yet. Write down a list of things you like and are good at, ask friends or family for help. If you feel unsure about your studies for example, you can change direction and study something else or take a year off. It is not written in stone. Try to focus on the positive things in your life and do what you want to do. Travel if you have the possibility and spend time with friends and family that makes you feel good. Trust your intuition and follow your heart. I wish you the best and good luck with everything. Love, Ann-Sofie from Sweden.


I have found that often the feeling of being lost is your Soul's way to be found. Meditation may help to guide you to the realization of all the talent that you truly do possess. As an aside, your gifts are many and you will be successful in an avenue that you have not considered. You are planning to attend law school, is this to please someone else? Remember that recognition from others has little value when you don't harbor a strong belief in your capabilities and self-worth.
When we find our path, we also find things run smoothly and easily. When we are singing our song, living life according to the flow of our path, we find happiness, joy and love. However, when we try to please others, or when our song has been thwarted or misdirected, life's waters can be harsh. It is important to be guided by your inner intuition and to honor yourself and your truth. In order to discern what is best for us, we must always choose the place of light within us that honors our true calling, and empowers our self-worth. "Do what you love and the money will follow" - Marsha Sinetar
Be Well-Be Blessed-Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken) Cheers, Dani USA.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



July 25, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 31 July.

I have this optimistic feeling around me, where everything is possible even in the darker, difficult, uncomfortable moments of life. I'm telling you this because suddenly I realized that my family is awesome even when my parents aren't the best example of a couple. They had horrible arguments in front of us; my siblings were more affected on their behaviour than me. Now, my brother, sister and myself are in a stage where we can say we have succeeded.
I'm so proud of them, the three of us have a degree or are about to get it, so I wanted to share with the whole world their achievements as I've heard stories of children that because of their loneliness they tend to forget their dreams. My siblings are a clear example of 'being hardworking brings you hope'. That's why I want to ask, do you have a wonderful story which makes you be proud of everyone who is around you?
Maybe my story and my question could sound silly or not enough interesting but I believe the world needs to hear or read more hopeful stories rather than harmful ones.
Thanks in advance, you're such a lovely person!
PS. And the last thing I want to share is my favourite phrase at the moment 'Life gives us colourful challenges' mentioned by one member of my favourite band Coldplay! Isabel, Mexico.


Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



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