Oracle
372 oracle items tagged as team oracle
August 29, 2014 / submitted by Maria, Venezuela
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #182
What would you do if someone cheated on you? On one hand I think it would be
childish to take revenge, but on the other it would be impossible not to want to.
Einstein said that the intelligent people are the ones who ignore, but how could you ignore that?

This is an interesting question even if hypothetical to (hopefully) many. Revenge isn't an accepting or forgiving action. If you intend to stay with the person it's obviously not a good idea to plot or exact revenge.
Once trust has been betrayed it's hard to get it back. That will take time and there are bound to be frustrations. I would struggle to give someone a second chance but if I did, three strikes and you're out for sure. Once I could maybe forgive but if with a serial cheater, I would respect myself more than they did by cutting loose.
Personally - and I'm pretty sure this has happened to me, despite denials - I prefer to keep revenge fantasies in my head and that's probably the best place for them!
It's like you say, it's justifiable to want to and yes, hard to ignore but that doesn't mean it's the best response.
In fact, revenge isn't healthy. You may believe it's deserved and your right to or that it will make you feel better but is it really worth it?
Yes, it will make you look childish and bitter. Surely it's better to look mature and resigned?
There may be screaming, tears, questions and all manner of unpleasantries but all that's exhausting and can't be good for you internally.
Obviously all that's easier said than done; adignified response is always best if at all possible.
Hold your head high with decorum in the knowledge that you are the bigger person.
In private you can fall apart for a while and by all means have those little daydreams about what you'd like to do.
The best revenge is to move on and have a wonderful life. Who needs cheats and liars?
Over to you.

I personally think revenge is no good. Believe me, cheaters already suffer. They let down people who really care about them and don't consider that we love them. I don't know if you're talking about cheating in love or in friendship. I experienced the second one. An old friend had told our best friend that he was in love with her. I had no idea for over a year and he acted just fine with me. After I discovered that, I decided to let go the two of them. And it was the best decision really. A year later, he told me that he regrets everything he has done and that I'm the best friend he could ever have... Anyway, of course I couldn't forgive him but at least, I feel I dealt with it wisely and that a revenge would have made things worse.
So, whether it's love or friendship, you just have to remember that you're awesome and he/she is not. And that's enough.
One last thing, whenever I feel this rage inside me I would just listen to AROBTTH and it calms me down.
Saad, Morocco.


If someone cheated on me, I'd confront the person and ask to know why they did it. Yes, revenge will most likely be on my mind, but i do not believe that revenge is the best way to handle the situation. I say forget those who forget you. In the moment, your significant other failed to remember you. I would get rid of everything in my life that reminded me of them. Start fresh. I'd hang out with family and friends to help keep them off my mind. Don't let that person wiggle their way into your life, because if they cheated on you once, they'll do it again. Don't let someone negatively affect your life because of a mistake they made. You don't need anyone who doesn't need you. Erika.

I believe that the best reaction to someone who has cheated is to move on (I think this term is more suitable than "ignore" - you just can't ignore situations like these). I believe that revenge is never the right answer, because, obviously, you would do as wrong as the other person - if your moral codes tell you that cheating is wrong, why would you do the same? Besides, revenge wouldn't take you anywhere: you'd be "even", for sure, but would it fix your heart? Would you be happy again? Absolutely not; in fact, that would only extend your grief. So, in my opinion, if the relationship can no longer be saved (which happens the most), all you can do is move on, and set yourself free from what is causing you pain. Not only you may teach a lesson to the cheater, but you will also learn from it, and apply that lesson on further relationships. Then, you may even forgive that person, depending, of course, on the circumstances, but that's up to you. Always follow your heart, no matter what. Good luck. Love, Ana.

If you're in a relationship it should be based on trust. If someone cheats on you, well, you shouldn't just ignore it, because this solves nothing. Neither does revenge, even though you might want to take one. But think about it, it could cause more problems between you and your partner. I think the best solution is to talk to that person, because no revenge could do what words can. If it hurt you, say it, if you're mad, let them know. Don't let any of it be unspoken. Ask them to tell you the truth and discuss it together. You deserve to be respected and to be able to trust the person you're in a relationship with. Quince, Croatia.

If someone cheated on me I wouldn't get revenge, it's unnecessary. karma will get them, they'll be with someone they really think they love and they'll be left broken-hearted when they find out they'd been cheated on. So why waste your time and possible embarrass yourself for just a little bit of revenge? Just try to forget and move on with your life and be happy once again, you'll find somebody else that you can be with forever and it will be worth not getting revenge. Treating people kindly and respectively is the way to live and if they don't follow that then that's their problem and they will pay soon enough. Jordan.

I think when you loved and trust(ed) someone that cheated on you, you can't just ignore it.
I do think you can learn from these colorful things that life throws at you.
I can't decide on what you should do, but i do advice to not ignore it.
Maybe listen, singalong, grunge or playback to music.
Or talk about it with friends or family.
I do think that could help.
Greetings, Luc.

I know that it's very difficult. I have been married for almost 15 years. 5 years ago my husband had cheated on me. He was extremely close to leaving me for another woman. We seemed to work though it but let me tell you. It's NOT easy. I never sought revenge, that wouldn't make anything better. Would only make it worse.
I think it depends on how much you're willing to work on things to move past what had happened. I'm in a sticky situation myself.
Wishing you the best of luck.
xoxo Rosalie.


Maybe, Einstein was right. why would waste your time to a person like that? I mean if I were you I'll just probably wish him the best and worst in the world! Well.. mostly worst because of what he did. But then, instead focus on yourself more. maybe treat yourself a reward to a salon because finally you two are no longer together and you are now free from stress! Or try focusing on brand new things like adventure or yoga or stuff that will make you feel good. But the most important thing is that your family and friends are there in your rough times, maybe this is the time that you need to hang with them more often. Remember there's so many fish in the sea. And maybe the person that cheats on you is not the person who is destined for you. But you know someday you will find a person who will love you more, more than you! You just have to believe in Magic. :)
Hope this helps! Love lots, Shaine from Manila, Philippines. xxo

Maria, I think the way people treat you badly says a lot about themselves and nothing about you !!
You should not give back what you were given.
Just smile and walk away. Sounds impossible, but please try. You will feel better.
This may be the biggest pain you can give to those kind of people.
Maren.


I don't believe Einstein meant to ignore the emotion, but to look at it from another perspective.
If you did truly bond with another human being who betrayed you, you are now forced to rethink your position in the relationship. Is it worth investing more time and effort?
You must definitely look inward, and assess why this happened. If you believe it may have been your fault, an alternative response would have been to communicate honestly and openly with your partner. Giving someone their own bitter medicine is not a whole or healthy response. It doesn't serve the greater good, but just perpetuates the pain. For every unkindness we experience from someone else, you can be sure that the universe will correct it. "The universe lets no debt go unpaid."
Therefore, concentrate on healing from this pain, and do your best not to put yourself in that type of a position again. Find where the source of the problem may lie, and turn up the volume so that you can hear or see it clearly. Then, sit with the pain till you resolve it, so that you never have to experience it again. When we identify our pain at the source, we become aware and conscious, and can then heal.
You are meant to give love, be love and receive love. That is the true purpose of humankind's journey. And perhaps this was a lesson to store in your memory for your future relationships, and to be grateful when the next partner is loyal. Frances.

You're angry, hurt and wanting to make the other person feel badly. Don't do it. Dig deep and believe it not, forgive them for their shortcomings and move on. It may take a while for you to heal and that's okay. The person who cheated on you and disrespected you? They're not worth the time in your thoughts or your energies. You're a better person and you deserve someone who will cherish you. Take the time, enjoy your life, and mend your broken heart. There's someone out there just waiting for you to walk into their lives.
Be well. Best to you, Julie.


You can't ignore when someone cheats on you. It's a disrespectful attitude from the person you are with and it hurts a LOT. But I don't think taking revenge would be a good thing for you to do.
First of all, you should clarify the situation. Did your partner cheat only once or it was something common for them to do? Why did they do it: because you two were having trouble in your relationship and they made a stupid mistake, or because they wanted to have fun with someone else and didn't care about you at all?
If it was the first case, maybe you two could work things out after a while (if both of you are willing to give the relationship a second chance and work hard to do that). But if it was the second case, don't waste your time and move on.
When someone hurts you like that, wanting to take revenge is a completely natural reaction. But you would be doing something reprehensible too and would be wasting your time and mental energy on something that WON'T BRING YOU PEACE. Taking revenge will only expose you to situations that will hurt you more.
The only thing you can do to feel better, if you decide to break up or already did, is giving yourself as much time as you need to heal (and your family and friends will support you along the way).
Love from Argentina. Noelia.

To quote Confucius "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves". Revenge is never the answer. I'm not saying you should ignore what happened but you definitely shouldn't lower yourself to the level of the person who cheated on you. Personally I'd have a good talk with this person and immediately end my relationship with him. I know its tough when someone cheats on you, but try to remember that this person isn't worth your time and affection if he finds it necessary to see someone else behind your back! Good luck. Amanda

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 29, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

This week I have chosen a question referring to the True Love video's postscript.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 4 September.

Is anything possible?
Tatiana, Indonesia.


Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 22, 2014 / submitted by Miranda, Australia
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #181
Currently in tears, I came out of a 9 year relationship a year ago where the other person thought it was good to purposely hurt me for their own gratification.
It took over a year to get over this.
I have since met someone who is really nice and an inspiration. We are in a no commitment relationship, but when he says that he is going to come over he does not.
Should I continue with this?
I have known him for over 2 years and liked him from the first time I met him. If you say you're going to come over then do so. I am a pretty simple easy going person and my mum calls me a big softy cause all I do is help people. Should I continue with this no commitment relationship, even though I have deep feelings for this person now, or should I just push everything down toughen up and get on with life?

It does take time to get over hurt and that can be detrimental to new relationships moving forward if you haven't dealt with it.
I don't think it's a case of toughening up, more of working out what you want from a relationship.
You may be scared to commit hence getting into a noncommittal situation with this guy. However, you can't have it both ways. If there's no commitment, him not turning up is, well, not committing - as arranged.
Maybe that's just the way he is with every aspect of his life or maybe this is just showing you that he's not committed.
That said, it drives me mad when people don't do what they say and it's reasonable to let someone know that it's not cool. Tell him that if he's not going to make it over, to let you know. If he continues to let you down, decide what's acceptable and stick to it otherwise he will continue to do what he wants with little regard for what you want.

Now, I'm going to hazard a guess that what you'd really like is to be in a committed relationship with him with a cast iron guarantee that he will never hurt you. That is never going to happen.
If you're playing at being cool with this arrangement it's time for you to stop pretending and face up to what's really happening.
I hate to say it but I fear the chances are you could get hurt again because of your deep feelings for him.
You need to be honest. If you want more, talk to him. See what he thinks. If he has feelings for you too, maybe it's time to give it a go and try to have a committed relationship. You may find he doesn't feel the same but don't be surprised if he's happy with the way things are.
If you're not, you need to put an end to the arrangement.
A year isn't all that long to heal. Don't push anything down as that is not healthy. Please consider you may still have work to do to on the aftermath of your 9-year relationship.
Whatever you decide, you need to do what's best for you right now.
Over to you.

If you don't like that he doesn't come around when he says he will, why are you in a non-committed relationship at all? Be on your own until you find a decent guy who treats you with respect! Ann.

You deserve to be happy and healthy in everything including your relationships. Right now is when you need to step back and look at your current relationship objectively. Does he care about you as much as you care about him? Do you feel safe and happy around him? Does he treat you well? You should then dive deep within yourself and ask if this relationship is really a good one for you or not. All relationships have issues, but there is a line, and perhaps he is crossing it. If the only problem you have with him is that he doesn't come over when he says he will but he's there for you when you need him, has a good connection with you, treats you well, etc., then talk to him and find out why he doesn't come. His answer could determine if you should really stay with him or not.
Another thing to think about is if he is constantly making you upset or giving you that horrible pit in your stomach. If so, then you probably shouldn't continue the relationship because it's not a good one for you. If you ask me, ALL relationships have some level of commitment or they sink. If your relationship is one-ended and you're the only one trying, then it may be time to move on. You deserve nothing less than someone who has feelings as strongly for you as you do for him. Brooke.

9 years is a LONG time to be in a relationship so I honestly don't think you're ready to be in another one yet. I'd be kicking this guy to the kerb and having fun. This doesn't sound like fun when he lets you down. Be happy! Kev.UK.

He sounds like a douche! How would he like it if you didn't do what you said you were going to do when you said you were? Maybe you should try and see? If he doesn't care, there's your answer. Men don't like to be nagged and I;d bet money that he says you're nagging him if you approach him about it. Again, that will be your answer. Move on, Miranda. Betsy, Chicago.

Your last relationship ended badly after a very long time. If he didn't treat you well, I;d say the next man you spend time should be treating you like a princess! They are out there. You don't need to get too serious too soon but I don't think a no strings attached (that's what this sounds like) is rig for you - not after what you've been through. Good luck. Bonnie.

You sound like a lovely person. It sounds as if you want to please people so much that you are not taking care of you. You need to take care of you. Don't let people use you and walk all over you. Your own self esteem and self respect matter.
As for your past with a 9 yr relationship, why would you let someone "abuse" you and disrespect you?
You need to love yourself first.
You need to respect yourself first.
You need to ask for what you need, and don't settle for less.
You need to talk about your feelings and be able to have some hard conversations.
Sometimes being too kind is how you get hurt. Sadly, not everyone has your heart and your desire to help others.
You will find a "healthy" relationship where someone thinks so much of you and wants to take care of you. Someone who understands you.
Please don't settle. You are worth so much more than these 2 relationships so far.
Listen to your heart and soul.
Wishing you the best. Be brave. Take care of you. Julie.

Never make anyone to your priority when YOU are only a option to them.
You say you like to help people. This a wonderful character trait, But you should look for yourself anyway. YOU are someone, too. And you don't deserve such a "care". Put all your self-esteem and pride together and move on. Although there are deep feelings for that person. You need someone who respects you for what you are and keep their promises. You are not a toy to play with. Wish you all the best . Maren.


Hmm, what do you think a non-committed relationship is? It's what it says on the tin - exactly what this man is doing. If you don't like it, you are obviously looking for commitment so this isn't fair on either of you. Maybe you should just be friends. I hope you learn to trust again but I don't think it's going to be with this person - not unless you tell him you want to move the goalposts. Harriet, Leeds.

If a man says something like he will come over and he does not follow through, it means he does not think it is that important. If he has better things to do, well then, so should you. In my opinion, you should get out of the relationship now. Honor and respect yourself enough to know that you have a great capacity for love, and that you deserve the same kind of love in return. It will hurt to say goodbye, but you will be better off moving on now. Never waste your time and energy on people who do not treat you with respect. They are unlikely to change.
Also, try to let yourself grieve over the loss of the relationship by crying, writing in a journal, or talking to close friends or a therapist. Pushing down the pain will cause more harm to you than processing through the emotions you feel in hard times like these. You'll get over the pain more quickly and feel better about yourself. Sorry this one did not work out, but there is a wonderful, respectful and loving man out there for you somewhere. Try to be patient and wait for the man you deserve. (Actually, I'm doing the same right now.) Best of luck! Tracey.


Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 22, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 28 August.

What would you do if someone cheated on you? On one hand I think it would be
childish to take revenge, but on the other it would be impossible not to want to.
Einstein said that the intelligent people are the ones who ignore, but how could you ignore that? Thanks for reading. Maria, Venezuela.


Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 15, 2014 / submitted by Jojo, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #180
I'm a full-time college student but I'm feeling more and more guilty and anxious about not having a job to help my family. My parents work extremely hard and I feel like they are earning just enough to pay their bills. I'm scared that they're never going to be free of their debt and me not working is not helping. They've assured me that they'd rather have me continue studying hard and getting As in school, but I still feel guilty. Coldplay's music helps me when I start to panic but sometimes it's not enough. Do you have any advice?

It's commendable you want to help your parents but, to put it bluntly, it's not your role to. That said, I don't know how old you are but if you're living rent free, perhaps you could get a part-time job and contribute towards your keep.
Your parents seem happy to support your studying and given you've stayed locally, it's saving you all money by not having the expense of living away from home.
You're entitled to have fun but it might be nice to respect the value of money while your family are going through this struggle.
If you're mindful of what you spend maybe pay them in a different way. You could contribute by helping around the house or buying things you all need such as supplies, food or any other household necessities. I'm sure that gesture will be appreciated.
Concentrating on your education will help - your parents have enough to worry about and it won't help you to worry too.
I bet they appreciate your concern but it's tough out there and many, many people are in the same boat. Who knows, you may end up in a position to help when you've graduated and are in employment. Until then, do what little you can but try not to feel guilty.
Over to you.

I felt guilty about this as well during my studies, especially when I saw that some of my friends didn't even have the choice - they just had to work to pay for college. The guilt is only a proof of how good your parents raised you Jojo, how they passed you their responsibility values, which are both the cause and, in my opinion, the solution to your problem.
I assume from what you say that you have already offered them to work and help with the bills, and that they refused. You are going to have to accept their choice and that their hard work is not only for money - it's also to be able to give you the life they want you to have : study in a comfortable and serious way (it's already a full-time job), do what you love, and enjoy life. Your good grades will be their rewards, because they are most likely to guide you to happiness and to the real, stable job that comes with it, which will help you get really autonomous. If you earn enough money then, you might even be able to help them back or cover them with gifts - this could all happen sooner than you think. Please trust them on this one, and prove that they are right by trying to be successful. Would you want your children to have a tough life to pay for something they are in no way responsible for? Good luck!
Lucas, France


I know this feeling very well but I am sure, there will once come a time, when your parents are older and will need YOUR help. For example
when they might become in need of care, aren't anymore able to do their household alone. Then YOU might have a good job and you can give them back what they did for you. This is the circle of life and love.
Coldplay music always is a good help btw.
Maren, Germany.

I believe there are things that happen that are completely out of your control. I understand how guilty it must make you feel to know that there's nothing you can do. But these things happen for a reason. When these things happen, it's so you can learn something, so you can help yourself even if you can't help others. Hope this helps. Victoria.

You don't need to feel guilty, keep studying hard because one day when you are successfully thanks to your parents you can return all the money they invested in you. But that is not the important thing here, the important thing is that your parents love you more than anything and they don't care how much money they are spending on your education, when you get to graduation they are going to feel so happy about you and the are going to think all the sacrifice that they did was for a good reason, and if you still want to work or make some money you can do it, you can sell thing that you don't need, clothes, furniture, books, etc. And there are many works where you can work a few hours. You can do it and remember your parents love you more than anything. Good night. Lizzie.

This is a time in your life when your focus and time are your greatest advantages. If your parents are encouraging you to focus on your studies so you can continue to shine at school, you should do just that. Doing fantastic in college will open up doors for you as you continue your education, and also when you graduate. While they are not everything, great college marks are persuasive and attractive to potential internship hirers and employers because they demonstrate that you have the qualities they look for in a candidate: perseverance, time management, attention to detail, commitment, etc. If you continue to harness your focus in college now, you will equip yourself with the potential to do very well for yourself when you graduate, at which point I think you may be more likely be in a financial position to help out your parents in a substantial way. For now, if it would put your mind at ease, you could see if your school has any work-study positions that would fit well with your classes, but not appropriate the time you need to study. You could also look into paid internships for the summer, through which you could make a monetary contribution to your family while cultivating a great experience to put on your resume. You are a very kind and caring person to think of your parents and empathize with their hard work, and I wish you all the success in the world. Allie.

My advice: music is one of the main things that helps people through stress and worry, Coldplay are one of those bands that do help. Listen to the lyrics they put in there songs, feel the emotion they put into it! It might help you understand that not everything you do has to involve your family. If college makes them happy it's enough, after your education you can get a well paying job that will help your parents. Study hard and listen to music (especially Coldplay) they will help you through it. Try writing lyrics and putting your feelings into it to help you, think of the positives NOT the negatives. Thanks, Sarah.

When it comes right down to it, a parent's true job is to grow a human being. Wow, what a daunting task - arriving with no instructions, speaking a foreign language, and dripping from every possible crack and crevice. Parents have to take this gift (you are the gift) and make sure that it can take care of itself, make good choices, and build some solid character along the way.

For right now, going to school is your job. Recognizing your parent's sacrifice, coupled with the fact you are concerned about their finances, makes you a pretty awesome human being. Write them a thank you note telling them that they have done a great job! Clean up after yourself, and help out when you can.
My advice to you, Jojo, is this - do your best in all things - "Do, or do not, there is no try"- Master Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back. When you do your best it minimizes regret and you'll never curse missed opportunities.
I'll let you in on a secret - you're only borrowing their wallets, you own their hearts. Graduate from college and they'll have no regret.
Be Well-Be Blessed-Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
Cheers, Dani USA.


My advice would be to get a job. If your parents are in debt try to help them out a little. Talk to them about it and agree on the amount of money you will give them every month or week(I don't think you should give all the money you earn to them, you should save up for your own future as well). Maybe it's a good idea for your parents to write down everything they spend in a month to see if they can save money on something? I'm a full-time student too and I work nights and sometimes on the weekends. It's not always easy, but lots of students do it. But if you really feel like it's becoming too much for you, listen to your parents advice and finish your school first. Education is very important. Good luck! Amanda.

I think you don't have to feel guilty. Most of the parents believe that the only valuable thing they'll give to their children is education. That's why they don't want you to be distracted. But it doesn't mean that you can't help them with some tasks. There are some options you can do.
1. Find a part time job.
2. Help them with the house work chores. You won't earn money but they'll get time to rest.
3. Remember that when you finish your studies, you'll have the opportunity to get a job which will give you the economic resources to help your family. That'll make them be so proud of you.
Best wishes Isabel, Mexico.


I think it's admirable of you to see the bigger picture with your family. I'm proud of you knowing that you are sensitive to how your parents are struggling, even though they tell you "things are okay".
Don't feel guilty. Feel empowered to help in any way that you can! Can you find a part time job, still go to classes and maintain your GPA? If you can, then go for it. Any little bit could help, maybe you could buy groceries for the week, or treat your family to something, contribute to the phone bill? Your thoughtfulness and gestures would certainly mean the world to your parents and working while attending college does look good on your resume.
You should be proud to have learned empathy and compassion. Some people never get it.
Take care of you and your family.
Wishing you continued success in your studies,
Best, Julie.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 15, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 21 August.

Currently in tears, I came out of a 9 year relationship a year a go were the other person thought it was good to purposely hurt me for their own gratification, It took over a year to get over this. I have since meet someone who is really nice and an inspiration, we are in a no commitment relationship, but when he says that he is going to come over he does not. Should I continue with this. I have know him for over 2 years and liked him from the first time I meet him. If you say your going to come over then do so, I am a pretty simple easy going person and my mum calls me a Big softy, cause all I do is help people. Should I continue with this no commitment's relationship, even though I have deep feelings for this person now, or should I just push everything down toughen up and get on with life? Miranda, Australia.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 8, 2014 / submitted by Olivia, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #179
My mom once told me that once in a person's lifetime they have this one short moment that they remember for the rest of their lives. Do you think this is true? How could one small fragment of time be so important? Olivia. USA.

I hate to disagree with your Mum, Olivia but I cannot pinpoint just one. I have SO many of those moments that I honestly wouldn't know where to start.
I do believe that one fragment of time can be so important - whether it be a life changing decision or a transient occurrence.
It could be a vow made, an achievement gained, a dream fulfilled - something ordinary or something spectacular.
I think the point is that it will mean different things to different people.
Personally I'd find it hard to single one out over another but most of my important / memorable moments do involve the band so let's say that the first time I ever saw them definitely had a life lasting impact on me.
Over to you.

Once in a while there is a special moment in time that you just can't forget. Usually, it's a different situation that includes someone that is important to you or someone that behaves different from usual. Moments like those you remember for a long time just because they aren't normal. It can be something that make you excited too. For example: I wrote for my dad's birthday that I wish my kids will adore me like I adore him and then he started to cry. This moment was just a few seconds but I'm sure that I'll remember it for the rest of my life because my dad never cries. Yuval.

I get why you're questioning what your mother told you. I consider myself to still be fairly young, so I don't have to many of those memorable moments. You can't really create them and they come out of nowhere when you least expect it. Sometimes there good, and sometimes there bad, but either way, they can be a big game changer in your life. This doesn't mean that they have to be complex either. One of my best memories (so far) was meeting one of my dearest and best friends by a chance encounter. Back in eighth grade, I had decorated my math binder with a picture of Coldplay and this girl who I didn't even know just walked up to me and said "You love Coldplay? I do to!" We talked forever and have since bonded over our passion of all things Coldplay. A very simple and short memory, yes, but an important one. I'm sure that when I'm old and grey and surrounded by grandchildren, those short fragments of time will be the ones I treasure most.
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.

In a way this is true and in a way it is not because I believe that people will have several small moments throughout their lives that will always stick with them. A lot of the time you can't see these moments coming, and they may not be the most obvious things like a first kiss or holding your first child. But sometimes you will suddenly find yourself wrapped up in a quilt of color, shapes, smells, sounds, textures, timing, people, and emotions that are somehow so perfectly knit together that it leaves a permanent impression on your soul. For me, one moment I will never be able to forget was one seemingly insignificant day that I was sat out in my grandparents backyard with my pop doing word puzzles. It probably doesn't sound like much but for some reason when I close my eyes I can relive this moment in its entirety, from the sound of his laughter to the way the warm wind tickled my cheek. Revisiting this ordinary day always warms my heart, especially now that my pop has passed because he lives on in this tiny moment. So what I have realized is that often times it really is the little things that are the most important to us as humans. As cliche as it sounds, it is the truth.
Wishing you a lifetime filled with extraordinary ordinary moments.
Alex, Canada.


Yes, it's true! Such memorable moments are usually the ones that change our lives in some way and make a huge difference to us, and that's why they're so important. People often never forget the moment when they first fall in love for real, or hold a baby for the first time. Sometimes memorable moments happen when we realize something key about ourselves. For example, I'll never forget the moment when I realized I was in a bad personal situation and had the power to get out of it. And I'll never forget seeing Coldplay for the first time! Try keeping a journal where you record important happenings or realizations each day; that will help make them easier to remember. Love, Jill in New York USA

Your mom was absolutely true! People do remember some special things when they've changed their lives or in order to learn a lesson from that event. It happens when they've been hurt badly or they've been really excited, it deals with a strong feeling anyway. It is quite rare, but it really impress them so much they just can't delete that moment from their mind anymore. They can't remove it because they find it important for some reasons, as I said previously. Everybody has its own "important fragment" to keep in its mind forever; sooner or later, it comes to anyone, and it becomes part of one's personality. It may also influence one's future actions and decisions, that's why that fragment is so relevant. Francesca.

I believe that there is one moment that is more important than the rest, but that doesn't mean that every other moment in your life is unimportant. I'm still young, but I've seen many, many important moments in my life. There is still one that sticks out more than the rest, but I believe that the most important in my life is yet to come. Until then, I'm just living the other important moments. Isaiah, USA.

The loud sound and smell of sweat at my first Coldplay concert in 2005 non stop dance and my last one at 2014 non stop dance!
Cheers to Coldplay and more great shows!
M.


If it's significant or out of the ordinary, you will tend to remember it. This doesn't happen once in a lifetime. There are many memorable moments. One memorable moment: Christmas Day 2005 - playing the card game Uno with unknown Aussie and Kiwi tourists whilst sitting on beach chairs, eating cheese and salad sandwiches and listening to Coldplay's X&Y album in the middle of the Great Rift Valley, Kenya. A true story.
Big fan, Trace.

The moment you move closer to understanding your own mortality, you suddenly realize there are many moments over your life etched into your memory as you look back in retrospection.
Some may be defining moments of picking one path over another. Other moments may be opportunities seized, remembrance for losses, and regrets for opportunities you let slip away. As I reflect over my own life, I realized that I spent way too much time living in future tense instead of the present.
If it all possible, don't wait for the moments in your life to happen instead seek them out. See something breathtakingly beautiful, conquer something you are afraid of, eat something that taste really really good why you are doing it, and don't forget to smell the roses along the way. The reason why this is so important is because your memories are your pathway to peace not your assets. Be Well, DH.


For me, it's true. I had this moment in my life that I would never ever forget. It's this moment that I shared with my childhood friend. It was summer, when we went to their place, his aunt is a friend of my aunt. When we met, I don't know but there's just this "spark" between us, it's just like a "click". And then we played together, walked alongside the river, gone fishing (he was the one who taught me how to fish) and shared what we would want to be when we grow up. Evening comes and then morning, he's the one who would wake me up every morning and tell me to play. (I'm a sleepyhead) Everything we did was like a routine in that summer that we've been together. 'Til the day comes when it's time for us to leave (me and my aunt) We bid our goodbyes and that's it. But still, we pass on messages, Yu-Gi-Oh cards (that's what we play) via our aunts. And at those times that we're not together, I realized and felt something for him. And then as days passes by,
summer came again, I'm so excited to meet him again, but when we meet, things we're different, things we're not the same again. I can't look at him directly and he too the same. And we spend the whole summer, avoiding each other. Maybe at that moment, it's that feeling that causes us to act that way towards each other. And as years passes by, we grew up and grew older. And unexpectedly we met again, I thought this time we'll greet each other knowing we're older and that we're mature. But still, it didn't turned that way, we still couldn't look directly at each other, like we did when we were kids, we're still avoiding each other. And now, when I have these times in my life when I reminisce, I kept asking myself a lot of "What Ifs?" for the two of us. But, right now, that moment we had, that short moment we had, I will forever cherish, for once in my life, I experienced that moment - that magic, that I know that only happens once. Maybe someday, somehow, it would happen again, but it would never be the same as it was at that moment. And that would always be the kind of moment that I had that I will always be nostalgic about. Zairah.

I would say without a doubt that your Mum is right, although I never had my 'moment' until I was in my early 30's.
Prior to this, I had amazing moments, such as when my two children were born, and memories that stick with me regardless of how much time passes. But the moment that seems to stay with me, not just in memory but in presence, is going to sound really soppy.. but here goes.
It's a very long and complicated story, but I got to this point when I was standing opposite my one and only (so far) soulmate. He makes eye contact, but I shyly look away. However, our eyes meet, and we look into one another's. I am lost within his soul, and he mine. This was a few years ago now (about 7), but I am still there, whenever I choose to be. Unfortunately, we are not together, and so this memory is very precious to me. Who knows, it may happen again, but if not, I have that with me, and always will.
Anon.


The moment that I'll always remember is linked to Coldplay.
I'll never forget when I saw them at the Royal Albert Hall in London!
I don't really believe that I was there with them. I think that it was a great idea makes concerts in theaters because we could see them up close and we did't feel the distance between us and them, like happens in stadiums.
We seems like a little group of friends that stay together, it was magical!
It was particularly important for me because I'm Italian and I've always dreamed to visit London and also see one of their concerts.
So I succeeded to realise a little dream!
When I saw them appeared onstage I feel unforgettable emotions that I'll take with me for the rests of my life.
Love, Eleonora.

I think a person's lifetime is made of many memories. Your life is a compilation of stories and memories. There are going to be moments that you will remember for the rest of your life because they have touched and impacted your heart and soul. For each person, it's something quite unique and personal. I think it happens at least once, if not more.
Think back on your life so far, what moments have you remembering something so wonderful that you will never forget how it made you feel.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."- Maya Angelou
Our lives are made up of those small fragments of time. Some are just more meaningful than others. At the end of our road in life, we remember those special moments while everything else just fades away.
Find your moments of greatness,
Enjoy your journey, Julie.


I think that's a very hard question because sometimes you don't know which is your memorable moment but that moment could be a worst moment too, I think is true because everybody, everyone have that moment, even the babies, I think that moment in a baby is when they born. That unique moment when you feel infinite when the only that exit is you and that important moment, just imagine, a young boy who has never seen his mother but one day fate unites them and in that moment they see each other for first time and they can't believe it, they are crying of happiness and they a feeling infinite cause they love them each other that could long less than 3 minutes, a small fragment of time but that small fragment of time is so important because you love that person, you love your mother and that moment could mean the whole world for you and that's an example of a small fragment of time when you feel infinite and unique and remember it for the rest of your life.
Thanks,
Tiara.

I'd say you accumulate many uniquely memorable short "moments" that impact you for the rest of your life. For me, there's the moment I gave birth to my daughter and met her face to face for the first time. There are no words for the awe you feel in that moment. The realization of the true power you hold in the ability to create a life renders you entirely speechless.
Branwen.


One single moment can direct our life to a new path or lead it to destruction. In an instant a trigger can be pulled, or a life saved, a kind word encourages, or a cutting remark stings.
An awakening moment, big or small- a time in our life where we make a choice or our reality is profoundly changed by an ordinary or extraordinary experience. You took a chance and never looked back or you regret the day.
A defining moment, when your character is built, when you sweep the streets you used to own. You conquered a fear or surrendered to one.
Yes, one small fragment of time can be remembered for the rest of your life.
"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us." Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Be Well - Be Blessed - Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
Cheers, Dani USA.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 8, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 14 August.

I'm a full-time college student but I'm feeling more and more guilty and anxious about not having a job to help my family. My parents work extremely hard and I feel like they are earning just enough to pay their bills. I'm scared that they're never going to be free of their debt and me not working is not helping. They've assured me that they'd rather have me continue studying hard and getting As in school, but I still feel guilty. Coldplay's music helps me when I start to panic but sometimes it's not enough. Do you have any advice? Jojo. USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line.
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 1, 2014 / submitted by Isabel, Mexico
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #178
I have this optimistic feeling around me, where everything is possible even in the darker, difficult, uncomfortable moments of life. I'm telling you this because suddenly I realized that my family is awesome even when my parents aren't the best example of a couple. They had horrible arguments in front of us; my siblings were more affected on their behaviour than me.
Now, my brother, sister and myself are in a stage where we can say we have succeeded.
I'm so proud of them, the three of us have a degree or are about to get it, so I wanted to share with the whole world their achievements as I've heard stories of children that because of their loneliness they tend to forget their dreams. My siblings are a clear example of 'being hardworking brings you hope'.
That's why I want to ask, do you have a wonderful story which makes you be proud of everyone who is around you?
Maybe my story and my question could sound silly or not enough interesting but I believe the world needs to hear or read more hopeful stories rather than harmful ones.

I chose this question because there is so much happening in the world right now that I cannot comprehend. I felt it right to pick something positive.
With that in mind, there are so many people I am proud of - some I know, some I don't - that I can't list them all.
To (not) name a few, I am proud of anyone who has:
Faced adversity and overcome it.
Ignored prejudice and judgement.
Stood up for their beliefs.
Stood up for the rights of others.
Campaigned for the greater good.
Raised awareness for something that needs to be known.
Tried their best - that's all any of us can do.
Pursued their dreams.
Lived life to the full.
If I have to name one person, I am proud of myself.
Over to you.

There needs to be more people like you in this world! I to have parents who tend to fight a lot and they do it in front of me and my siblings. Although it is not a good thing, and I strongly oppose it, I truly believe that it has made myself and my siblings stronger people and advocates for (in my personal opinion) this kind of mental abuse. I can share my experiences with other people and learn from theirs. You can either be apart of the problem or apart of the solution. So I became apart of the solution by not letting the emotional turmoil swallow me up and spit me back out into society as someone who couldn't contribute to it in a positive way. I plan on going to school to become an art teacher and my siblings are both volunteer firefighters who pour their heart and soul into doing what they love. You could say that we're doing we'll for ourself despite our setbacks and all it takes is a little determination and hard work. From the bottom of my heart, I can say that I'm so proud of everyone around me.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful success story. It feels great to be able to share mine.
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.


Yes, I have wonderful stories about many people- those who are close to me and some who are strangers. I'm thrilled to hear that you are so proud and optimistic.
You did not succeed by your own actions. Your parents did not have a parenting manual in how to raise their children. Chances are, if you ask them, they wanted to provide for you what your grandparents would or could not provide for them. Parents are not perfect people, nor should they be placed on pedestals. They do the best that they can, they make mistakes, they have feelings of doubt, sadness and anger. They make huge sacrifices on behalf of their children. Think back on your life so far and of your siblings, what sacrifices did your parents make so your lives would be better. Those sacrifices were chosen because of the unconditional love they have for all of you.
I hope your parents have shown you their open hearts -even with the tough times, they still love you and would do anything for you. Don't judge them harshly. Open your heart and give them compassion, empathy and unconditional love in return.
Your success is their success as well.
Please be mindful, thoughtful, compassionate, empathetic and unconditional in loving.
Enjoy the fruits of your labors, and remember to pay it forward.
Best to you, and your family. Julie.

As the saying goes, "Life is what you make it out to be." Even some of the most frightening or sad moments can change someone for the best. While the darker times aren't negotiable, optimism is a choice. Of course, sometimes it is harder said than done. I am proud of those around me every moment of the day. Sounds corny, but it's true. As long as I can remember I have had anxiety. Not only have my family encouraged me to conquer my fears and live my life, but they have helped me deal with the utter disappointment I have felt over missing out on opportunities. From something as simple as going to see bands live, (like Coldplay and Nickelback in Melbourne a few years ago!) to acting, I even gave up my swimming and competitions! I was unable to convince myself to go, no matter how much of my body and soul was willing me to go. I am proud of those around me for helping me through these times, not being frustrated with me and over all, for giving me new opportunities to overcome my fears. While things might be tough, family and friends to support you is all you need. I'm now starting acting and will be swimming in summer, all thanks to my amazing family! I feel I should share a quote too, so here is a quote from the late, yet immortal in our hearts, Christopher Reeve: "Once you choose hope, anything's possible."
Shannen, Australia.


My story isn't a lot different from yours actually. My parents almost divorced close to a year ago. My brother and I got closer than ever at that point because we knew that if our parents got a divorce we were the only ones there for each other to comfort one another. My mum and I didn't have the best relationship ever and I didn't want her to stress out more than she already did, so I kind of set it aside. The family was torn apart, I don't think that we even had a family to be brutally honest. I was depressed, my brother was out all night, my mother was always angry and my father alone. I didn't have any hope for the family and I lost my spark, and my dreams were destroyed. One day, the family got together to convince my mother to travel back to the KSA with us (since we stay the summer holiday in Egypt) and it went unexpectedly well. My mother and father slowly learnt to live together as I slowly recovered from depression (thanks Coldplay) and my brother spent more time with the family. I was very proud of the family because we grew together and learnt that we all have flaws. Despite the fact that my mother and father aren't the cutest and loveliest of couples (just like your parents), they are doing pretty good I'd say compared to a couple of years back. I am proud of everything we've accomplished because if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have been the person I am today. Cheers! Solaf.

" Life throws those colourful challenges on you "
Love this sentence so much and the Zane Lowe interview. I am proud I found Coldplay for the band of my life cause they are writing the soundtrack of my life and I cannot imagine a world without them.
My life wasn't and is not that easy. I got a disease when I was 11 and I was more than one time at the brink of life.
So I love the Ghost Stories message " Don't ever let go" so much that I got a tattoo.
I am also and most proud of my mum who teached me this as well. "Never give up". She is the most important person in the word to me and Julia , a wonderful friend, too. They are always there for me and SURPRISE, they are Coldplayers as well. I infected my mum. :D
Kind regards. Much love from Germany!! Maren.


They say that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift and that is true, today I am thankful for so many things, I truly believe that things happen for a reason and every mistake that I've made have been for a greater meaning,a lesson, so I'd like to tell everyone that I'm happy and proud for my family especially my sisters, we are five really hardworking women with empowerment for facing every problem in the best way, we take care of each other, we share dreams and goals. We've overcome dreadful illness... We also have a degree or are about to get it and that full me of joy! A lawyer, a fashion designer, a teacher, a doctor, and a P.R.!
Mary, Bella, Isabel, Budy and my mother Isabel are my life and I love them no matter what, I am here to remind everyone that true love exist because I feel it for my sisters! Stephanie.

Experiencing the 2nd time in a very short time, someone will die of cancer. I am grateful for all I have and I wish everybody that suffers and their family and friends to regain strength from the beauty of life. Coldplay's music makes me cry today, but tomorrow it might again make me smile. Be grateful for your life. Stay positive. Live in the now. Love. Give. Share. Tanja.

You are absolutely right! The world could definitely do with some more hopeful and happy stories. I'm glad you took the time to share yours with us:-) My wonderful story goes like this: When I was little I used to struggle with mathematics and grammar at school. So when all the other kids were playing outside, I had to stay in and make extra assignments in order to keep up. My teachers said there was no other solution to my 'problems', but I was miserable and hated going to school. My parents decided to sent me to a school for children with learning disabilities, despite all the criticism they got from the people around them. I had the time of my life there and my parents always supported and believed in me. Now, 15 years later, I'm about to graduate from university and my learning disabilities are nowhere in sight. My parents have always worked hard to achieve things in life and I'm proud to be their daughter. My favourite phrase comes from a brilliant(in my opinion) author named Douglas Adams: "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be". Amanda.

A young single mother of two girls makes the decision to lift herself away from familiar, but bad influences, leaving behind friends and bad choices. Using her strength to make conscious choices rather than just letting life happen to her. Purposefully moving herself and her daughters to a place of stability along with surrounding herself with gentleness in her home, boundaries in relationships, and no compromise in self-respect transformed her reality in a wonderful way. I find myself in awe of the way my little sister has orchestrated her life by the tough choices she has made- she is nothing short of bold and brave.
The little girl, that threatened to "tell mom" if I did not let her tag along, now is the woman that encourages me to speak my truth, to honor my sensitivity, and laughs at all my jokes. Her strength makes me fearless.
Over the years my sister has taught me that sometimes you make choices and sometimes choices make you. You can choose to rise above situations, be courageous and choose the life path you were born for. Count your demons, even if you call them friend or lover, then look them straight in the eye and tell them "I choose Me!"
Be Well - Be Blessed - Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).
I am Me and I choose to Shine!
Dani USA.


I am pleased that this is such a positive assignment. I can only think of one thing that sticks in my mind. A few years back my daughter was trying to help a friend who was wrestling with a decision. She was pregnant and her boyfriend was pressuring her to abort her baby. She really did not want to abort, my daughter talked to her about other options. Since she is adopted, this led to her telling this girl her child could have a great life, she said, like hers was. As a struggling single parent back then this was music to my ears. My child was happy despite all our setbacks and obstacles. I was so proud of her that day and still am today. I have no way of knowing what this girl did but I am happy knowing my child felt her life was so worthwhile. Laurie.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 1, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 7 August.

My mom once told me that once in a person's lifetime they have this one short moment that they remember for the rest of their lives. Do you think this is true? How could one small fragment of time be so important? Olivia. USA.

Look forward to reading your views and hearing about your memorable moments.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies to theoracle@coldplay.com with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line.
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



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