Oracle
426 oracle items tagged as team oracle
February 27, 2015 / submitted by Carrie, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #206

Have you ever wanted to express to someone how much they mean to you and how grateful you are for them but there just aren't words that exist that will properly convey what you feel? What do you do?

TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #206

You show them. I'm wondering if you're meaning that you are overwhelmed by your feelings and struggle to articulate your words or if you genuinely feel so strongly that you think there aren't any words.
This probably won't surprise you but words don't often fail me. In my world, there are always words. Sometimes there are simply a few ("thank you") and sometimes that are many.
I like to write down thoughts and feelings. Maybe a poem right from the heart would do the trick?
There's a saying: actions speak louder than words. There might be a way for you to put your feelings into a gesture.
This person obviously means a lot to you, perhaps you could make something personal for them: a playlist, a memory book, photo book, a gift... something that shows your gratitude.
Over to you.

Ah, yes. Oh so many times. As a person who loves to speak in metaphors when expressing love and appreciation, sometimes I can't think up the right one, or find difficulty in getting my message over properly. Usually, I don't find it to be bothering enough because I find my way around it, but when I don't, I have to stick to actions as of course they speak louder than words. I express my feelings towards them by showing them how much I care instead of telling them. I look out for them, provide them with emotional support, and show them great appreciation when they are feeling low. However, you have to be careful with this, as too much can come off as clingy, or bloat their ego massively. I hope this helps. Love, Solaf.

Action speak louder than words.
Show the one you love how much they mean to you with how you treat them, how much time you spend with them. Give them a kiss, a hug (*Oracle's note: ask permission! O.) Write a song if you are a musician - instrumental if you fail for words for the lyrics. Surprise them with a present if you know what he / she likes very much.
Love from Germany. Maren.

Yes, I have felt this and then some many times. I'm not usually a shy person- I am loud, outspoken, And I'm not afraid to stand up for myself. Sometimes I even speak just to know I'm not being ignored.
That being said, I am very quiet at times when I just don't know what to do, like when I want to express gratitude for someone who means the world to me. I met someone, who changed my life, and now - almost two years later - he has no idea how much I care about him. The most I've ever said is, "Thanks for, well, everything."
As to what to do about this, the answer could not be more clear- just tell them how you feel. This, of course, is a given. Sometimes, I guess, it feels weird just saying, "Thank you for..." whatever, because, well, it just is. More often than not, I trip over my words just to order food, let alone voice my deepest gratitude for someone I really care about! But, like most situations, the waiting is the worst part. You will feel so much better after you've said some kind of thanks. Victoria.


I know also some-one Who means a lot to me, and yes it's really not easy to express in words how much that person means to me, he was in my live when I was 13 years old he was the only person I trust, he was like a father to me, at that moment I was feeling my self alone and had the feeling that it was me against the world, but he shows me that the world was not that dark that it looks like so I guess that sometimes you don't have the words to explain how much some-one means to you, you feel it in you're heart and believe me he / she knows.
Greetzz Marianne.

Once again a lovely question. My mind races but a simple answer will suffice. Sometimes gestures need not be grand or lavish to get our point across. What matters is not what we say but HOW we say it, or the context of saying it. Look deep in your heart and ask how you feel. Try not to edit it, or worry about how corny it may come across. I am reminded of a previous answer I gave on this site, in which my daughter thanked me and her simple words meant far far more. Sometimes it is hard to put our true feelings into words but a heart bursting with gratitude is not easily hidden and our emotions and body language will all convey what we may feel we have left unsaid. I feel this way about Coldplay how do you thank talented artists for bringing passion and joy to your life? I feel unable to convey it but I hope they know this soul has a much richer life because of it. Best wishes to you and take care, Laurie.

I have to admit that your question is a question I put myself many times over the years.
The thing is, if you feel something for someone like, love for a guy or love for a friend or family, you have to say it.
I'll tell you something, 3 years ago, my grandfather died and I haven't got the chance to say to him how much I loved him and that broke my heart. Since that day, I always say to my family how much I love them and I do the same for my friends as well because you never know. It might be the first time you see someone or the last time and you don't have to regret that you didn't say something. I proved myself a year ago that I can speak my heart by telling the guy I loved that I truly love him and even though nothing happened between us, I am so happy that I was able to lift off that weight over my shoulders.
You should do the same. Be Strong and Confident, if you truly love someone with all your heart, tell that person so you won't regret it later like me.
Learn from mistakes and be brave.
Take care of you!!
Lots of Love from Romania!
Madalina.

Maybe you can express how you feel by showing them a song. Carolyn.

I think what you could do is write to that person. I personally love writing because I find it a lot easier to express what I feel clearly, it also actually helps me to clear things out in my mind. What I would suggest you is to write a letter but without thinking too much about what you are doing or saying, just be honest and say what's in your heart. Let the words flow through you - be relaxed and have a calm mind and it will come by itself. And even if you can't really express what you feel properly with words - as those things are really things that you actually have to feel - even saying that will have an impact and has a true meaning. And hopefully the other person will feel the same towards you and will understand what you are talking about. Trust yourself and trust the person you love and his understanding. But if you really feel like you have to tell him/her, do it, really.
With Love, Chloe.

If you don't have words,then use actions. Make some surprise to a person. Buy something that he or she needs or plan some trip to some special place. Do whatever that person would like you to do. But may be the hardest would be to find those words of gratitude, so you should do it if you feel thankful and full of love. That person probably doesn't know the reasons of your gratitude. I mean maybe he/she knows your feelings and love but can't assume that he/she has done for you so much. I think that we never know why we are important to close people. They never say the facts about us and we don't say it to them. Friendships, family relationships and even romantic relationships are taken for granted sometimes in sense that we don't express our love and gratitude by words and facts about persons. Everyone needs to hear why he is special and what qualities he has, no matter how close we are and how understandable that thing is. So find the words and tell or write a letter, every memory of that person, action, quality. I'm sure he/she would be happy to hear that. There's a song in my language which says:"You're better than me, you're better, even when you're worse, you're better. You're better then me, you're better. I'm not ashamed to tell that you're better." We should use these words sometimes. Love, Kamili

When the words do not exist, then perhaps you could try to express yourself in a different way. Whether it is through music, art or even human touch/embrace. I don't know what this person's relationship is to you, but sometimes all it takes is your physical presence. Sometimes, you just need to be there. Don't underestimate the power of something as simple as a genuine loving embrace. Barbara.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



February 27, 2015 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 5 March.

I'm debating whether to do what I know is right or what makes me happy. I would appreciate your wise advice. Thank You. Pam, USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



February 25, 2015 / submitted by Kamili, Croatia
Q.  Dear Oracle,I'm fascinated by the fact that you've been replying to people's problems every Friday for so many years. It motivates me and it's such wonderful thing. It made me wonder if would be possible that each of the band members reply for example once a year,so we'd have 4 answers a year from them? Thanks,bye! :-) Kamili

That's a lovely thing to say; Team Oracle is one of my favourite things.
I'm not likely to write a song on their album anytime soon so I'm afraid they won't be entering into the agony Uncle role. I jest but no, that's not going to happen.
Phil & Anchorman have contributed to a couple of end of year ones before.



February 20, 2015 / submitted by Ewart, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #205
My family is currently going through a dire financial situation. My dad owns a business that barely pulls in any revenue, so he can't pay the business taxes to the IRS. We have encouraged him to get another job for years now, but he has been very stubborn. We have been barely making it by.
Recently, we discovered that my dad hasn't paid his business taxes since the 2011 tax day. Our mom has been going through lots of mental and emotional turmoil. She is an elementary school teacher with full credits and a dual Master's Degree, but as a teacher, she doesn't pull in much money. She actually also tutors on top of that.
I have two younger brothers, and this financial tension has been very hard on our family of five.
Recently, we received a voice mail from the IRS that said that they're going to file a law suit against us due the fact that my dad hasn't been paying his business taxes. My mother feels that a divorce is inevitable, but she doesn't know what to do. The IRS will take money out of her pay check, even though she doesn't own the business, or has never associated herself with it.
Oracle, I need advice terribly. I am still in high school. I am going to college in a few years, and this stress has been making my grades slip. Please provide advice not only for me, but for my entire family.
Oracle, I'm not allowed to ask anyone else for advice on this matter. I can't confide in my friends, the guidance counselor at my school, not even my Pastor. You're all I've got. Thank you.

This is tricky because ultimately this is not your problem but of course you are immensely affected by it.
I can't really offer the entire family advice because it's going to take specialist advice.
Your parents need to tackle the problem head on and sit down with someone to work out how they are going to pay the money and over what period. It doesn't matter whether your Mum has anything to do with the business directly; as his wife, they're in it together - that's the whole point of being in a marriage. Divorce might not change that financial obligation either but that's something your Mum needs to find out. It's her decision.
Please don't be too hard on your Dad. I know you think he's been stubborn but perhaps he was being passionate about his business and trying his best. He hasn't done this deliberately. Lots and lots of people have been in the same place as your family and they find solutions because solutions are available.
My concern here is you. You say you are not allowed to ask anyone for advice. I understand why your parents don't want their private financial situation discussed but you need to have the support you need. I suggest you DO talk to someone (other than me). Your school counsellor and pastor are bound by confidentiality so they wouldn't repeat what you discuss.
Worrying is not going to help anyone or anything so work on ways to stop. Concentrate on your studies. Write a schedule for your work and stick to it. Take regular breaks and perhaps use relaxation techniques to stay calm & focussed.
Talk with your family about how you feel - it's not healthy to keep it bottled up and will possibly cause more worry.
Hang in there because there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Over to you.

I'm so sorry that you seem to have the family's financial troubles on your shoulders. It's a lot to carry for someone so young, and you should not have to carry this burden. First off, the IRS does not call people. They send letters. There are many scams out there involving people making phone calls and claiming to work for the IRS.
I am older than you, and it's not easy to deal with financial troubles at any age. I know that you are worried about your parents, but worrying isn't going to help. The best thing that you can do is to get your grades back up, and let your parents deal with the money troubles. Your slipping grades will make your mom start worrying about you too. Your dad is probably feeling a bit stubborn to admit that his business isn't as successful as he'd like it to be.
You are not alone. There are many families having financial troubles. You would probably be surprised to know that many of your classmates may be in the same situation. My best advice is for you to concentrate on your grades. Let your parents worry about the money troubles. Find some ways to escape to relieve your stress. Music, reading, and exercising are great ways to relieve stress. You may want to try to talk to someone, you trust, about your worries. I wish you and your family the best. Cat.


I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can somewhat relate. My father spent his entire life spending all his income on his siblings rather than on us, and now he is regretting it, trying to make worth of the few years that he will remain employed before he hits the big 65. So we basically have to constantly worry about whether we will have enough money to pay for a proper college. With all this going on in your life, you really need to focus on your studies and try not to think about anything else. I know it is hard when realities are being shoved down your throat constantly, but your grades are the only thing that will get you places so that you don't have to worry about finance anymore. Try your hardest to be compassionate with your family, because someone has to be strong for all of you. Talk to your mother about their marriage, how they should stand together through thick and thin, and try and listen to your siblings if they have any complaints. It will be difficult, but the harder it gets, the sooner ease will come. You just have to let things run their course, and eventually you will adapt. You will be fine, just be strong and try and hold your family together. Love, Solaf.

I really must applaud you're commitment to your family, especially with keeping the affairs you're in quiet. God knows when I found myself in similar situations, I'd blabber about it to just about everybody and anybody I could. The thing is, I think talking about this is the best thing your family can do, now. Your biggest focus right now needs to be your studies, same for your siblings. And I think the best way you can refocus yourself is by telling your parents that this situation is distracting you. It may seem like it at times, but none of this is your fault, and your education isn't what's causing your family's difficulties.
I cannot give your family any financial advice, but looking at it from his perspective, I think your father is having a problem admitting he can't handle this situation himself. That's not a bad quality about him, at all, but it's extremely difficult to admit you need help, and I can only imagine how harder it must be when you're trying to support a family. My best advice for you would be to confront your family about how hard this is affecting you. You might feel like you're alone in this situation, but you'll always have your family, even through this dark time.
I'll pray for the best for you and your family during this hard time.
Bradley H.


I think I can relate to you problems because I work with people in financial troubles and I've been through the same thing recently. My mom also owns her own business and for years it went really well until a few years ago. Things went downhill and we had to put more money into the business then we got out of it. Please don't be too hard on your dad for not getting another job, when you've invested a lot of time and money into making your own business work, it becomes your project and itâ??s hard to let go. The reason the IRS can take money from your mom as well is because your parents are probably married 'in community of property' which means that everything they have/own is combined, including debts. When your parents were young everyone married in community of property, but I advise against it for obvious reasons. Your parents have to seek professional help from a social worker who specializes in finances. They will try to strike a deal with the IRS to pay off the debts gradually and avoid lawsuits. They will also help your dad with what to do next. Maybe your parents could also try marriage counselling? Most important of all, I know itâ??s hard but the best thing you can do to help, is not to add to your parents worries. That means try your best to improve your grades and to make it to college. Good luck! Amanda.

You are about to start your own life and now you have to deal with your parents problems. This is so hard, and I wish I could tell you it's going to get better, but I can't guarantee that. Here's the good news. You are going to college soon. There you can be whoever you want to be. Finances can work themselves out, but YOU have to take care of you. Whatever your parents decide to do, you have try as hard as you can to separate yourself from it. You are your own person, you do not have to let their decisions and mistakes control your life. I've been in a situation where I've had to separate myself from a parent. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I love them dearly, but for my own well being, I had to step back and let them figure it out. It is not your job to fix them, although we want to try. Remember that they are your parents, and even though you don't have to like them all the time, they did raise you. You must acknowledge and appreciate that, okay? Take a deep breath, turn on some Coldplay (because love), and maybe take a walk. Journal. Do something to get your frustrations out, try not to take it out on them. They want to be perfect for you, but they're human. They more than likely love you deeply and care a lot about your future. I know you're probably feeling a lot, but try your best not to make them feel worse, because it will only help you for a little while, and it will just cut them deeper.
Stay strong, okay? You are amazing and you are going to make. Smile.
Sue USA.


Your situation is hard and complicated, but not impossible.
It must be hard for you as a child to go through stuff like that, I believe you. I myself know people in situations like yours and I know how it is for them and I truly understand how it must be for you.
The thing is, you are the kid in the family, so you can't do much, but to hope. In times of trouble hope is all you have and is all you need. Support your family if you can, try and make them laugh and be there for them when they need that.
You said something about a divorce, I had that fear too a few months ago, my parents were arguing all the time and I saw mom more and more, well not mom. I used to cry myself to sleep and that was not good. In this case, I advice you to talk to them, I did the same and they assured me that they would never divorce because they love each other and they love me.
This is my advice, talk to them about anything that makes you to worry, even though parents are parents, they can still be your friends. Another option would be a psychologist but I personally don't like them, but if it helps, then it must be good to you.
I hope my answer helped and I wish you all the love and luck in the world!
Lots of love from Romania.
Madalina.

You should open up to your parents. They've been taking care for you for whole life and they won't let you alone and homeless now. You are so scared, of course, maybe you've never experienced such problems before, but there is always some solution. Take courage and tell them your feelings. They'll try everything to help you and to see problems and solutions from your point of view. Many families face the same problems, just don't be frightened because it can't help you. Focus on your studying, let your parents be adults and solve things but also tell them your feelings and ask them how you can help them.
Think about finding some part time job and also open up to friends, teachers, pastors; many of them have faced the same sometimes in their life. They could give you smart advice. I wish you to be wealthy, but many countries, including mine, are poor and we are used to that way of life. You always find some way if your mind is clear and strong, so work on that and the rest will come to you! "I wanna live in a wooden house where making more friends would be easy, I wanna live where the sun comes out..." With love, Kamili.


It sounds like an overwhelming situation for someone your age, Ewart. It's very tough when you're that young and your family has the kind of trouble you cannot directly help to solve. There are some things you can do to help your family go through this and show them your support. Maybe you could get a part-time job (as far as it doesn't interfere with school). It could contribute to relieving your family's financial situation a little bit. As you are the eldest brother, you can also help your siblings with their homework in case they need it, drive them home, etc. (that would be very helpful for your mum). But most important: you can prevent your siblings and yourself from listening to your parents fighting by taking them to other room or outside.
You need to take care of yourself too. Don't interfere if your parents are having a discussion. Don't take sides with any of them, even though you may strongly feel like doing it. This is something that affects your entire family but that's up to your parents to solve. You can only do small things to help.
Regarding your friends, are you sure there's no one you can confide in? Maybe you're being hard on them. You need some emotional support to face this and having someone to talk to at times would be great.
Have faith that this situation will eventually be over. I wish you the best, Ewart. Noelia, Argentina.


Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



February 20, 2015 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 26 February.

Have you ever wanted to express to someone how much they mean to you and how grateful you are for them but there just aren't words that exist that will properly convey what you feel? What do you do? Carrie. USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



February 13, 2015 / submitted by Madalina, United Kingdom
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #204
What's the most beautiful thing that ever happened to you? Madalina (via twitter).

I am very lucky to have experienced many beautiful moments in my life so far. Too many to mention but it's been lovely thinking of some while I try and pick just one.
I ended up in a rather unconventional place but I feel it's appropriate.
I don't mean to sound too cryptic but without going into detail, I'd say it was being given a second chance and making the most of it. I'm very grateful for that opportunity and to me personally, it's a beautiful thing - probably the most beautiful.
Over to you.

The most beautiful thing that happens to me is the birth of my sister her daughter. I was there when it happens it was the most beautiful thing ever. Got no kids for my own, so have a very special connection with her. Greetzz, Marianne.

The most beautiful thing to ever happen to me was the first time I woke up next to this love that I have. And every morning like it since. I roll to my left side and I find myself next to the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Even eyes closed, I know what amazing eyes hide behind those lids. I feel his heart beating and I know that I am laying beside someone with a truly big heart. Someone who wants to heal people and change lives. Someone more amazing than I could have ever dreamed. Someone who plays Yellow for me and makes me cry almost every time. The someone who I want laying beside me every morning, which is crazy seeing that it's been a year having him in my life. But it's true. Maybe the second most beautiful thing to happen to me is the dream I have in which he and I grow old together. The first was that first morning. Morning breath, eye crust, slow breathing and hearts beating. I could have told him I loved him then.
Sue (Lover in Japan).

I met someone. Someone who changed me for the better in a million ways... He helped me get better at, well, everything. He was only there for nine months, and in just a few more, he'll be back. My friends said I never shut up about him, and I never did, but even they noticed how I became a better musician, a better artist, a better friend. He helped me in ways I could not even articulate. He was so smart, and funny, and kind. He was the type of person I would hope to be like. He was - is- my distraction, from things that were and are too much for me to handle. And if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have felt compelled to be better, to feel better, and I would've cracked under the pressure of the world resting on my shoulders.
I don't know why this question stood out to me. I mean, my life sucks. It sucks, but beautiful things still happen. They still happen like the sun still rises. The world still spins, and every day is one more than the last. Sometimes this thought sickens me, and it makes me want to scream at the world for giving me one more day after day to endure. I guess I just needed him in a way that showed me the sun still rises, and that even in all the mess, beautiful things still happen, and every second with him was a beautiful second in itself. Victoria.


Literally, two years ago, back on February 7 2013, I reunited with my brother who I haven't seen for over a decade. I moved from the city we lived in 2001, and never came back until that moment. It was really special.
Karolyn, Ecuador.

As usual I immediately thought of my sweet daughter or my lovely hubby, but hey that's way way too easy. The most beautiful thing that has happened to me was discovering I was free to be whom I chose, marry whom I wanted and live how I wanted. Now since I was in a religion which reigned in free thought, this was a radical move. I started listening to the music I wanted, this was when I discovered Coldplay. My life went from black and white to Life In Technicolor! There were consequences to my choice ... losing all my friends and the support of a familiar community, but what I have gained is far more beautiful and precious. The ability to be myself and get to know who I am. There are days I miss some left behind, one very good friend, but I am Happy which makes up for so much. There is so much in this world to discover and learn, we should never limit ourselves! Fly high and free always! Laurie.

The most beautiful thing ever happened to me... well 2 things. When my boyfriend told me I am his soulmate and he will always stay there for me forever, even when we would break up...
The other thing when Chris saw my placard during Always In My Head at concert in Munich in December 2014. He read it and smiled at me . Will never forget :) Maren.

I have experienced too many truly beautiful moments to try to name just one. Of all the many dark days I've lived while here, I have also truly been part of many wonderfully spectacular moments. Moments that left me without words to describe them. Moments so beautiful that my only capable reactions were feelings of gratitude and reverence for a life so tenderly orchestrated by a power greater than mine.
That may be a very boring answer, so I will say that nothing has ever beat the interactions with God that I've experienced in my life. Even those have been too often to name one specific time, but group all of those together on top, and those all individually count as my most beautiful moment.
Much love, Miranda.


I have had many beautiful things happen to me throughout my life, but the most beautiful of things was discovering Coldplay. It is a funny story, really. I had Speed of Sound recorded off the radio and put into a playlist that helped me relax. I was half asleep listening to it when I realised I had no idea what the band looked like and I was very curious about it. I went on the internet and looked Coldplay up, and that is when it all started. For some odd reason, I blindly downloaded all their songs without having even listened to any other than Speed of Sound (I don't know why, maybe fate, destiny) and I found love in them. They said all what I wanted to say but was unable to express, they lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, and were my cure from depression. I now enjoy life like any other happy person out there, and I owe it all to one beautiful British "limestone rock" band. Love, Solaf.

I was born with passion for music and ballroom dancing. I've never had it the way I wished it, but that pain has made my love endlessly. If you don't have something and you want it desperately, you admire and appreciate it so much. Not only that my passion was the most beautiful, but the realisation of that dream. When I was able to do it on my own and got the opportunity, I started practising ballroom dances and competing, but the biggest surprise was that my dance partner had become my husband and I also got a person who feels and lives the same passion. The other beautiful thing is that I work with orphan and abused children. This is the path which I've been following since childhood. This experience is deep, painful, stressful and purifying. I'm grateful that I'm so privileged to go through it. I've also experienced the sea as the most beautiful in my life. Through a long story, I understood its beauty and power of healing, strenghtening and confidence. It's been a long journey to define these 3 things as the most beautiful in my life. It was worth of all of that I went through because now I can say: "It hurts like heaven!"
Kamili.


There are only 3 beautiful things that happened to me until now, at the age of 17.
First of them is the one that changed my life and rocked my world forever. Someone to whom I shall not give a name, but I can say that he is a traveler or better said a lonely angel.
The second thing would be Coldplay.
Why?
In 2012 in March I started to listen to Coldplay, in the same time I found out that my grandpa had cancer and it was in terminal phase, that means nothing can be done anymore.
He died 4 months later.
His death marked me for life. Not because it was painful, even though it was and still is, but because I lost the person I've always wanted to make proud. That summer, Coldplay was my support and I'm not afraid to admit that I thought it would be easier if I'd just disappear, but even though I've been bullied and hurt for more than half of my life and I suffered a lot, I never, never gave up, not to me or my dreams, because they didn't gave up and they succeeded, that's why I admire Coldplay so much.
A wise man once said: "Bad things don't always spoil the good things or make them unimportant." How right he was.
The third thing are my friends, I wouldn't be who I am without them, I don't know what I'd be, maybe I'd just be a really lonely person and that would be really sad.
Love from Romania!!
Madalina.

Life could be tough and heavy. But somehow I was so blessed. I have to say that the most beautiful thing that happened to me is my sweet love, who has the gentlest heart, and sweetest smile. With patience and strength his love prevails time and distance. Valentine was once sad, but now I just want to thank him for this most beautiful love he has for me. How wonderful his love is that all my wounds have disappeared. And how I can ever repay this love! Chantal.

The most beautiful thing happened to me on 1st March 2012. That was the day when I first visited London, which was my wish for more than 10 years. I remember getting out of the Victoria station in the what was probabaly the sunniest day in March in London ever. The noise, the smell, the beauty it struck me so hard that I started to cry, I was motionless for few minutes just breathing it all in. My heart broke and mended itself in the same second. Thats one thing Ill never forget.
Xx Antonia, from Croatia.

This story is very special, I won't give much details because it is really a very rare thing and I wouldn't want to give any false expectations to anyone.
In 2013 I happened to meet the person who would literally change my whole life and my awareness and consciousness forever. I was really far from believing that those things actually existed before but it appeared to be the most real and authentic thing for me. I understood a few months later that this wonderful being was actually more than a soul mate - I will not name what this is because it would really not be a good idea to focus on that as it is really one of the most improbable thing to happen on Earth.
This made me discover how powerful Love can actually be and how wonderful life truly is. I couldn't describe how beautiful this is - this is way beyond words. The love I have for him is endless, there's no boundaries to it, it is beyond time and space. I couldn't explain how wonderful and extraordinary he is to me. My most precious gift is to have been given the immense privilege to love this being as much as I do, to offer him this Love.
When I look in his eyes, time is literally stoping, evrything around is fading away, it's like if I was transported - his eyes being the window to other spheres.
This is to testify that magic does happen and miracles are real - this is mine.
Love C.


It might not be the light and breezy answer you were going for this week, but I wanted to share it with you anyway.
It was four years ago, standing at my dad's ICU bed when he woke up from a medically induced coma after a heart attack. We were told they weren't sure if he'd wake up and even if he did, whether he would have any permanent brain damage or not. Seeing him open his eyes, searching for and then recognizing my mom and trying to smile at her was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I'll never forget the look on my mother's face. She was the happiest, brightest and most grateful person in the world. It made me realize how important family and love are in life.
Love, Ellen (22, the Netherlands).

There is no question that the most beautiful thing to ever happened to me are my children, but they were actually a deliberate choice.
However, there was a time when a friend sent me this message, "if beauty is beneath the flesh, you are a radiant star in the void that is humanity".
While this would be lovely to receive from anyone, this person knew me at the most difficult time in my life. He knew me at my worst and there were times when it was nearly impossible to be my friend. So to know all my flaws and still be able to see me with this perspective... meant a great deal to me. I doubt I will ever forget it.
To this day, I keep it in my computer, labeled under, "nicest thing anyone ever said about me". Barbara.


The most beautiful thing that ever happened to me is when I gave birth to my two children. Nothing can beat that moment, magic!
I wish you a happy valentines day!
Ann-Sofie, Sweden.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



February 13, 2015 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE??
As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 19 February.

My family is currently going through a dire financial situation. My dad owns a business that barely pulls in any revenue, so he can't pay the business taxes to the IRS. We have encouraged him to get another job for years now, but he has been very stubborn. We have been barely making it by.
Recently, we discovered that my dad hasn't paid his business taxes since the 2011 tax day. Our mom has been going through lots of mental and emotional turmoil. She is an elementary school teacher with full credits and a dual Master's Degree, but as a teacher, she doesn't pull in much money. She actually also tutors on top of that.
I have two younger brothers, and this financial tension has been very hard on our family of five.
Recently, we received a voice mail from the IRS that said that they're going to file a law suit against us due the fact that my dad hasn't been paying his business taxes. My mother feels that a divorce is inevitable, but she doesn't know what to do. The IRS will take money out of her pay check, even though she doesn't own the business, or has never associated herself with it.
Oracle, I need advice terribly. I am still in high school. I am going to college in a few years, and this stress has been making my grades slip. Please provide advice not only for me, but for my entire family.
Oracle, I'm not allowed to ask anyone else for advice on this matter. I can't confide in my friends, the guidance counselor at my school, not even my Pastor. You're all I've got. Thank you. Ewart, USA.


Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



February 6, 2015 / submitted by Michael, United Kingdom
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #203
My girlfriend has broken up with me. Coldplay's music was always very special for our relationship. As I won't stop fighting for her, I am willing to do everything for us. As she keeps on blocking me, I need to do something special for her to show her that I really need her.
Thanking you so much in advance!

As you know Michael, I asked you to submit this question to Team Oracle. It was for a specific reason and hopefully you will see it was a good one - though it may be hard for you to hear what I want to say.
You don't "need" her, you want her and that is completely different. If your ex is blocking you, I feel you should respect that and give her space. She's blocking you for a reason. If you don't back off, you will do more damage to the relationship - if it ever stands a chance of reconciliation. Please, please stop fighting for her and fight for yourself.
I don't think I can suggest anything special to show her how you feel. My suggestion is to write a letter telling her how you feel but saying that you will stay away from her to show her how much you love her. To be willing to do that will show her. Now, you may know that I like to use cliches to explain things in a better way than I ever could. Here's a classic for you: "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were."
Love can be very tricky to navigate sometimes, but know that however painful it is right now and how you may feel like you can't cope out of this relationship, I assure you, you can. Be strong and love yourself. A lot of people have been through this situation and come out the other side. Hang in there.
Over to you.

Few years ago, I was her and he was you. To make clear: I broke up with boyfriend who was contacting me later and trying to get back or be friends. But it was over. I had the same situation with certain friendship which was suffocating. I gave my best, I gave everything to those persons and I was done. I guess it's hard for you, but think about the reasons of your brake up. She must have told you some reasons, so try to accept them, see the truth in those reasons, at least it's her truth - she can't go on anymore. If you love her, then you trust her and then you respect her, so please know that her decision is right for her and you'll have to live with that decision. Take the best from your relationship, let it change you and guide you towards new experiences in life. Don't push her and try to get her back, I know how disturbing it is. Let her live and breathe, that's the best message of love and devotion. If she loves you still, then she'll run to you when you let her go. If she don't, you'll find another love some day and enjoy Coldplay together. "And you as I saw were a piece in a jigsaw, run up the divide and tip of the tongue, run round the houses, north and the south is, you've got your answers, we have both got the Sleeping Sun." Kamili.

Hey Michael, if your girlfriend thought something was bad enough about your relationship to end it, then I don't think there's anything you can do to get her back. You should maybe try and understand why she broke up with you, perhaps even ask her and talk to her, instead of simply trying to win her over. However, if you do still have feelings for her, you should definitely voice them, and who knows, it could serve as a kind of closure if you can find out her thoughts on the relationship. Amanda, UK.

Maybe that special thing you could do for her is giving her time. She might need some time to think, to be on her own, to clear her head.
I think the fact that you're not giving up on a relationship that's been so special to you is great. Sometimes good relationships need people to put effort to overcome some obstacles.
Nonetheless, I recommend you to think about the reasons she might have to end the relationship. Is it because of the dynamic it's been having lately? Is it because she doesn't feel the same anymore? Maybe it has to do with that. But maybe it's something you two can work out. So give it a thought.
It would be good if you two could meet to talk about these issues. Be clear about your feelings, but don't push her. Give her time to think.
Wish you the best. Noelia, Argentina.


The best thing you can do for your Ex girlfriend if you really love her, is give her some space. From what you write you can only see this from your point of view.
There were 2 people in your relationship consider what is best for both of you. Would you like her to be in a relationship with you if she was unhappy? No? Then let her go. Yes? Then you don't really love her.
Michele. UK.

Maybe you can make a special video with all the music from Coldplay, and do something by your self what makes it very special.I also wanna give you one advice, if she don't want it anymore than you have to accept it and try to move on.I really hope that with the video she want you back.Good luck and I wish the very best for the both of you! Greetzz Marianne.

From what I've seen everyday, relationships form and disappear in just a blink of an eye.
I cannot say that I speak from my vast experience, but I am known for my good advice when it comes to situations like this.
I see that you love her and that between you two was a special bond, something unique cause that's what love is every time. Right now, all you have to do is give her some space and some time to think, because we girls need time to think before we take an important decision.
I've never been in a situation like this to be honest, but I've read about it, I've seen it in movies and I have friends that had "troubles" like this, so my advice would be a really sincere and from the heart.
Firstly, do something sweet, something to make her see how much you love her. I don't know, maybe you could go and sing at her window like Romeo for Juliet, maybe sing Yellow or Trouble since you said that Coldplay was a part of your relationship. Secondly, surprise her, buy her red roses or her favorite flowers.
And last but not least, apologize and promise her that everything will be alright and that you'll love her, always.
I hope I helped and I wish you guys to be happy and to live a long life together.
Lots of love from Romania.
Madalina.

I'm sorry to hear your girlfriend broke up with you. But to me the fact that she keeps blocking you is a clear sign she wants to be left alone. You could try to write her a letter and tell her how you feel using Coldplay lyrics, but I think she knows by now that you haven't given up hope. It's best to leave her alone for a while until she's ready to talk to you again. There's probably a reason why she broke up with you and if you can't fix or work on your problems together, in the end it might be best for both of you to move on. I really hope everything works out though. Good luck! Amanda

Well, it has to be a reason for her to break up with you plus blocking you on any form. If you did something bad to her that really broke her enough to do that, it will be really difficult to have her back because not there is not trust anymore. I would have done the same. But, if you didn't do anything that could hurt her, then maybe she isn't the one for you. I am not saying that she is a bad person and that she doesn't deserve you for that. Keep on trying, but if she stays this way, you better back up because you are hurting yourself more and more. Sometimes, love is really gone. It is really sweet you have a Coldplay connection, but try to find any other connection you have that none of both have ever notice, and gives one more reason to stay together.
Karolyn, Ecuador.

Michael, you are going to hate my advice but I'm going to offer it to you anyhow. When I read your question I immediately noticed that your girlfriend had broken up with you, she kept blocking you, and you need her. I understand that you would do anything to get her back, and that Coldplay played an important part of your relationship.
I don't feel that it is my business to know why your girlfriend broke up with you. She is sending you a message by blocking you. She may want to move on with her life. It is so painful when a break up happens, but I think that you may need to move on because constantly trying to contact your girlfriend may be called stalking, and I would hate to see you get into trouble. It is apparent to me that you need her, but she may not need you. Is there anyone else in your life that you can talk to about your situation? Please consider what I have said, and read your letter to The Oracle again. You answered your own question in your letter. I wish you the best.
Cat.


Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



February 6, 2015 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply. In the spirit of Valentine's Day but without the Hallmark Holiday quality, this week's is a light, lovely Q.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 12 February.

What's the most beautiful thing that ever happened to you? Madalina (via twitter).

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



January 30, 2015 / submitted by Dani, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #202
For all my life, I remember I found love to be the most important thing in our lives. I even thought it was the point of life, and I do not mean it in a mate and reproduce kind of way. I literally thought the point to live was to find our soul mate. Yea, I'm a bit of a romantic. Well, I also believed to be in love with someone you had to feel certain ways. For example: be mesmerized by your partners eyes, be dazed whenever you kiss, and so on. Though, one of the biggest things I believed about true love was that if you are truly in love, you could not thing of another in a romantic way. Having that idea in my head, justified cheating on my previous partners countless times. It meant, to me, that we were not meant to be. At this moment in my, I am currently in a relationship. We entered this relationship on the first day we met in person ( I admit that it was dumb), and it has been six months from then. Now this is where the problem is. I know for a fact I am in love with him, but I must confess I looked at another in the same way. I did not cheat, and I honestly believe that I wouldn't cheat on him. The idea of cheating on him just sounds horrible to me. So I guess the question is: can it be true love even though you glance at another?

So what if you started a relationship on day one? You're still together after 6 months so something's working. Anyway, I may sound contradictory here but bear with me. It's not the same for everyone so everything I say is personal opinion, feelings or experience.
I'm a romantic but I do not believe in The One or soulmates - or rather, I think a soulmate can be any gender and not necessarily someone you're romantically involved with. I now realise that there's also nothing wrong with being single. Better than being in a relationship for the wrong reasons. I agree love is very important but there are various kinds: platonic love, maternal / paternal love etc.
Being in love feels different to loving someone.
When I am in love, I do not look at another. It's like I am wearing blinkers.
If I love someone, I may still admire others' beauty and maybe even think about them inappropriately. I think there's only harm if you want to or intend to act on those feelings.
I personally don't think there is such a thing as "harmless flirting"; if you're in a relationship, I don't think it's healthy.
I should point out that when I was very young, I cheated and although it was never uncovered, it made me reassess what I wanted from life and love. I vowed never to cheat again and never have, never would. I don't condone cheating and do not think it's ever justified. To me it's simple; if you choose to cheat, why not choose to be single instead? You can do what you want without potentially hurting anyone else. As you say, if you cheat it must mean you don't really love that person, right? Not necessarily but it isn't fair to continue. We're human and imperfect but that's not an excuse.
When you're in a relationship, there are sometimes different phases. They say the honeymoon period of the first couple of years, you're madly in love but it settles down after a while and the fireworks stop. I know people who have never felt butterflies when they look at their partner for example. It doesn't mean their love isn't real. We're not all the same.
I like my relationships to stay in the honeymoon phase rather than move into a more comfortable one. I don't think relationships should be too hard but I think effort needs to put in to keep the spark alive, as I like the magical element of intoxicating love. That said, I'm also realistic. I am lucky to have experienced long term honeymoon phases but it can (& they did) end - sometimes unexpectedly - at any time. Like most things, it may not last a lifetime. Love is a bit like a surfer looking to catch a great wave and ride it. You may get none, you may get one, or you may get many but if you get it, enjoy it while it lasts.
If you say you're in love with your boyfriend and you'd never cheat on him, there doesn't appear to be a problem. I can't help think there's something lying underneath for you to ask the question. You should sort of know the right answer for YOU. If I looked at someone else, I'd know I'm not 100% committed to the person but that doesn't mean it's the same for you or anyone else.
Over to you.

It's important to not confuse love with romanticism. True love is acceptance, respect, dedication and a true connection with one another. Our society has a way of leading us to believe that in order to be in love you need to feel and act a certain way, but that doesn't always work for everyone. I believe that when two people are meant to be together their souls will find each other and a connection will be made, that doesn't mean that it will last a lifetime, since people change and sometimes it's healthy to move on when a relationship doesn't work anymore. Only your heart can tell you if it's true love, not the mind, you can't use logic to figure this one out!. There is nothing wrong with looking at another person and finding him/her attractive, that doesn't mean that you are not in love or that you will cheat. When your heart is truly in love, there's no room for disrespect, since hurting your partner would also mean hurting your own self. Adelina.

We all have different outlooks on life and it's truly great that you see life as having a purpose and that you truly believe in wonderful things. I must admit, I'm not one with a bucketload of experience concerning love, but I will certainly do my best to help.
My first impression on reading your question was that perhaps you were not quite ready to settle down in a relationship, however I think you are. We can't hold back on things just because they are difficult or confusing, and the same can be said for this. I think you need to give yourself time to think and truly analyse your situation.
Do you know this other well? If not, I think you should give it time. There's no point rushing into it if this is the case.
Why are you feeling this way? It can be hard to pinpoint this but try your best. Do you love this other because you find them beautiful? Because you get along well? Do you have a unique chemistry? Are they supportive of you or very close in a personal sense? If you're convinced you're in love with this other because they are attractive, though you do not know them, it's probably a good idea to have patience. Think about your current relationship and if you can picture it in 5, 10, 20 years time. Best of luck. Paige.

When you go to some important event, you choose the most beautiful outfit,you put all your efforts to look and feel great. While trying the outfit,may be you like many dresses but you can't try more than one dress or shoes at the same time. Imagine yourself dressed in 2 dresses just because you like them all... It would be ridiculous,right? At the end you choose the one between many that you like because it suits you the best. That's how I find cheating. Like going on a big event in 2 beautiful dresses and shoes,but looking like a fool. If you have that romantic approach to love, go for it. I think that you can find him and feel what you wrote about, but without testing and exploring every man and chance that you get, especially not by cheating or even glancing. Go for it by being quiet and alone for awhile, meet yourself and your emotions. Although I considered love to be just what you said, I realised that love was decision in my head. I decided that I wanted to find "the one", right for me. Not that I couldn't be with or like many men, but I set a goal to find the one that suits me the best, like a right dress. First step is to know yourself and your deepest meaning, to grow your talents and wisdom, to learn how to live on your own and to have eyes wide open. Finally, there's also an interesting quote: "Dance with God, He'll let the right man to cut in." Wish you that man some day! Kamili.

Right, to start this off, I always believed that love, like many things, comes with time. Lots, of time. Being with your partner for one week and not feeling like you love them is okay and is in no way an excuse to cheat. Just like it takes time for you to love your partner, it will take time for them to love you. Maybe it won't be at the same time, but it eventually happens. Now finding other people attractive is fine, loving someone doesn't ruin your "attractive radar" but it just means only that, finding them attractive. Heck, my parents used to sit in front of the T.V and rate actors and actresses according to how attractive they find them! Its fine as long as it doesn't affect your relationship or your appreciation for one another. Take your time, love and be loyal to your partner. You can tell him that you love him, just choose the right time and conditions to tell him (eg, don't choose a time when you're fighting). I hope you all the best of luck! Love, Solaf.

You were right, Love is the most important thing in life. But not specifically romantically speaking. You have to put Love in all of your actions, towards anybody - do everything with Love and for Love.
On a relationship point of view, you definitely have soul mates but you also have friend and family soul mates. Then there are soul mates with whom you can choose to start a great romantic relationship with. But basically true love is about loving unconditionally and not asking anything from your partner - just love him/her as he/she is. Don't blame the other one when there's something wrong and try to understand him/her. Some people will definitely make you feel special sometimes, but it doesn't mean that this will be more special with that person, sometimes you're just feeling an energy connection but it doesn't mean that the person will be better for you. Get to know him/her better first. In my opinion feeling something strong and unique is essential, but you also have to really fall in love with the person, with every part of him/her and see the true wonder inside of that person. And if your relationship is really based on true unconditional love then you won't especially want to go find something more in someone else. If you don't love the person you're with truly for what he/she is, try to understand what you don't like at first or you'll find somebody that will suit you better.
Never lose your faith - true love does exist but it is not that easy, you also have your part to play.
With Love, Chloe.


I think it's important to remember that love is influenced not only by emotions within the spirit, but also by a very powerful mixture of physical brain chemicals. Our physical bodies are created to function in a way that perpetuates reproduction, so yes, you can be completely in love with someone, yet still be attracted to another. I would guess that our physical bodies weren't originally created for monogamy. Being attracted to someone other than your love is nothing to be alarmed about. It doesn't make you less in love. It makes you human. What you do with those feelings is what really matters.
I don't think that your rationale for cheating/not cheating is productive because with the chemicals at work in your brain, you would find yourself never able to be in a monogamous relationship because the brain is going to function as its created to function. Only your will can supersede its impulses to stray.
My best, Miranda.

This is a hard question, from all the points of view, but not impossible.
I have to be honest and say that I've never been in a situation like this, maybe because I've only loved once in my whole life and I don't think I'll love anyone else too soon.
Just like you, I am a romantic as well. I still dream that prince charming will come and save me and we'll live happily ever after.
Your situation is delicate, but love is the most important thing in the whole world.
Why?
Cause if there wouldn't be love, there wouldn't be anything. And now to answer your question, no, I don't think you love your lover less if you look at others. We are allowed to look, but look from a certain distance. Now, I don't know your loved one, but I think you should both talk about this. Honesty comes first in a relationship and it should always be first thing to talk about. And if you love each other, then you'll accept each other no matter what, cause that's love, loving someone without any conditions.
From your words I can see that you love your lover dearly and that's beautiful and I wish you to be happy and I really hope I helped!!
Lots of love from Romania!!
Madalina.


The advice I have for you is short, sweet and to the point.
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second." Johnny Depp.
Take this as you wish
Greetings from United Kingdom
Gene.

There's nothing wrong with being a romantic. I agree with you that love is an important aspect of our lives, but love comes in many shapes and forms. Some people fall in love instantly and feel all those feelings you described, others may need more time for their love to grow. When you've just started a relationship with someone you're in love and you feel dazed and mesmerised, but after a while these feelings get less intense and you'll reach a new phase in your relationship. That doesn't mean you don't love your partner anymore though, it just means you've learned to love him/her in a different and more permanent way. Not under any circumstances do I believe its alright to cheat on your partner. If you fall in love with someone else, thats fine, but first end things with your current partner before moving on. Have you ever seen how men and women, even when they're married, sometimes stare at an attractive man/woman when he/she walks by? There's absolutely nothing wrong about looking at someone else and acknowledging you feel attracted towards this person and/or appreciate their looks. But that doesn't mean you should act on those feelings or are better off starting a relationship with that person.So yes, it can still be (true) love. Good luck! Amanda.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



SEARCH: