July 25, 2014 - submitted by Danna, United Kingdom
Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #177
I would like to share a problem I have with myself. Right now I'm a school drop out, but I'm going back to school in January and after that I will go to law school. Despite that, I feel quite lost. I don't feel I'm good at something, I don't think I have a talent. I have nobody to talk about this and I was wondering if you can help me with this. Maybe some wise words or a pious lie to make me feel better. Thank you in advance.
The Oracle replies:
I'll let you into a secret. With one year to go, after my O'levels but before my A'levels, I dropped out of school. I didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life but felt that school wouldn't get me there.
I spent the next two years in college to get a qualification. While waiting for my results I got a job. I then spent the next few years in that chosen career.
When I was in my mid 20s, I changed my mind. A totally new direction down a new path. I wanted to get into the music industry. I didn't know if I would be good at it, but because I had an interest in it the motivation was there - and determination.
It was hard but my passion helped drive me.
It turned out I was good at it and I guess that's what you could call my talent.
I also ended up going to night classes to get my A'levels. It felt better to go on my terms and there was no pressure on me to achieve as I was already working.
What I'm trying to say is, it's never too late. It can take time to find your path and work out what strengths you have. You won't know until you're at law school so in the meantime, don't worry. You may find law is your calling but if it isn't, you can always change.
Over to you.
For years I felt like I had no talent, nothing I was really good at. Years. Now that years have passed I can see why I thought that. When I thought about talent it was always something I saw other people do, like painting, designing, playing the piano, sports, music, photography, etc. We end up defining talent by what we see other people do well. (Pinterest is NOT reality!) A talent can be something as simple as making people around you smile just because you are smiling or being a good listener when someone needs it. I use to wish I could play the piano as well as my best friend or swim as awesome as my other friend but you know what, now I look at the people around me and realize there are so many other things that are waaaay more important in life and I am surrounded by people who can't play the piano or paint or sing or cook or play sports but they amaze me at all the other things they do! Things that can't be shown at a talent show or performed on a stage or displayed in a display case.??Ã?Â And I bet they think they have zero talent, too. You'll figure things out. Give yourself some credit! Don't measure your self worth according to what talents you think you don't have. Always try new things and you will eventually find something you love (maybe that will be yourself!) Good luck! Carrie.
Listen dear, first thing's first, don't ever ever leave school again, whatever you do, just don't. Anyways, I know how you feel since my older brother has the exact same issue. Like I always say, don't do something if you don't feel fully indulged in it, because if you don't like it and you're stuck with it, you're going to be extremely miserable. There's always a subject of interest in any person's life and you may not know what it is but trust me, it's there! You're just going to have to look for it, and strive to find it. It's all a matter of patience and effort. Don't like something? Change it! Don't stick with it if it makes you uncomfortable, because even if you're really successful but actually depressed, it's like you've gained absolutely nothing. Each and every individual has that one thing that makes them feel passionate and euphoric, for some its sculpting, for some its drawing, for some its hunting, whatever it is it's always there, and all you've got to do is take a little break and go on a little adventure to find yours. I used to always feel talentless, but when I confronted myself I knew that I never looked hard enough. After I took my time and searched for it, I actually found it! All in all, look for that passion that will drive and motivate you, you will find it, it's lurking out there somewhere. I hope you feel better. Cheers! Solaf.
Danna, the feeling you have is quite understandable, and natural. The
road you are on is unfamiliar. That comes with feelings of uncertainty, feeling lost, like sailing without a compass. Going down the road you have travelled before is the familiar, easy way. An unknown territory or road always feels uncomfortable. But you can do it. It's quite brave what you've done so far. You have found the guts to finish school and in doing so, you acknowledged for yourself that you can do this, even if life happened to you a few years back. Well done! Next step is to trust that whatever will happen, that it will all work out right. And if not, at least you tried. Who knows, this decision might be the life experience you will look back on in a few years as being the best decision you made, in many ways. Good luck!
You seem like you've found a new sense of control with your decision to go back to school. (Trust me, anyone who is going to law school has to have a good grip on life.) Although you've hit a bump in the road, you've just got to keep pushing through. Focus on the positive and push out the negative. You can't find yourself or your talents when that bump in the road is holding you back! School Is and always will be a very stressful place, and if you don't have a good head on your shoulders going into it, then it becomes extremely overwhelming. Who knows, maybe at law school you'll discover whether practicing law is your thingÂ or not and if it isn't then that's okay. You have to be wiling to try and take chances or you won't even learn what you're good at and what your not good at. I'm sure that you are a wonderful, smart, beautiful human being who hasn't realized her potential but when you do, oh boy, look out, because there will be nothing to stop you!
Brittany, Gilbertsville PA.
Everyone has something they're good at, so do you. Not everyone is born with natural talents, like being able to sing really well or the brains to become the next Da Vinci, but if you find something you enjoy and you put a lot of time and effort (and with a bit of luck) in it, you could make it your talent. Maybe you just haven't found your talent yet. Or maybe it's there, but you fail to notice it. Talent doesn't always have to be something big or noticeable. Maybe people find it easy to talk to you and trust you with their problems or maybe you are good at writing reports and essays, they might not be the 'talents' you were hoping for and they are more common then some other talents, but like I said just find something you enjoy, which is mostly something you're already good at, and find a way to make it your talent(i.e.: if you're good at writing, why not try to write a short story or a book?). Good luck!Ã?Â Amanda.
Drifting in the emptiness is where we find ourselves. It is a time of powerful creation and change and it's never easy. Of course you have talents! You should develop and identify your interests. Here is what I've found helpful: Get a notebook. Keep it with you.Â Every time you wonder about something, write it down and research later. Your mind will expand:Â "Okay, so now I know this... that seems erroneous... where's the truth... what if this other scenario occurred?" Keep recording your musings and ideas.
This becomes a Map of Your Creative Mind. Watch it grow and expand. It's silly to think you have to have it all figured out now, as life is a journey and you never know where it will take you.Â You don't know who you will meet, what opportunities will come your way and what obstacles you will overcome. Maturity and mastery does not come in a day. Also, don't look so much for praise from others, or affirmation of your talents from them because most people are just as lost inside as you feel and their opinion is often a bunch of muddled rubbish anyway.Â People who offer lots of praise to those desperately seeking it often are manipulators and users, so best to just toss that desire off the cart. When you stop looking for the praise, a truly heartfelt and selfless affirmation given to you will be easy to identify and can be accepted quietly and humbly by your own heart.
Nobody is perfect; not even the idols we believe are perfect creations of god and can do no wrong. Nothing is set in stone; there is no limitation to what we can dream and achieve. All it takes is accepting who we are, understanding our strengths and weaknesses and to try and work it towards our advantage. Surely we will make mistakes. Without them no journey is worthwhile. Learn from them and be all the wiser for it.
Talent is not always something big. It can be the smallest of things like making a baby smile. Talent is not just innate. It is also something we can develop over time. You may like something but without you persevering in that particular thing for long, till you become really good at it, no matter how many times you fail, you will never know if that is your talent or not. So, list the things you like to do and keep going at it till you find your 'talent'.
You are already on your way and doing better than most. You dropped out of school but now you are starting again. Accepting you failed and rising up again despite that failure is a sign of what true human spirit is all about. Doubt is a good thing for it tests the strength of our beliefs. But don't let it override your decisions. Continue on your journey and stop second guessing yourself.
Best wishes, Rex, India
Thank you for being brave and sharing. Sounds like you are bit stressed and overwhelmed with things that are happening and not happening in your life. Congratulations on choosing to go back to school-that's a huge step and knowing that you will be continuing onto law school? Another leap of faith by you!
As for feeling lost, not everything and everyone has a plan. Sometimes the best things in life happen when you least expect it "without" a plan. You stress more about things that might happen and create expectations for a future that you have no control over.
Don't feel lost. You may not even realise the things you are good at. You may be a great listener. Are there people and friends in your life who rely on you for that? You may be a great organizer, how else would you have gotten it all together to return to school? You must be a great debater to choose law school. Perhaps you are a great visionary with the ability to see a myriad of perspectives, certainly an asset in the law field.
Find your closest friends, family or your mentor, if you have one. Ask them honestly (and be prepared to listen) what you're really good at. Tell them that you can't see the trees from the forest right now and could really use their help. There's no harm in asking, just emotionally prepare yourself to listen with your open and vulnerable heart.
"Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure." - Paulo Coelho,Â The Alchemist
Wishing you all the best, no lies... feel better soon! xx Julie
I guess that you still are young and to be honest I am a little bit jealous because you have so much in front of you.
Everyone has something they are good at and it don't have to be something "traditional", try to think "outside the box" and without limits. Maybe you have not find out your unique talent/talents yet. Write down a list of things you like and are good at, ask friends or family for help. If you feel unsure about your studies for example, you can change direction and study something else or take a year off. It is not written in stone. Try to focus on the positive things in your life and do what you want to do. Travel if you have the possibility and spend time with friends and family that makes you feel good. Trust your intuition and follow your heart. I wish you the best and good luck with everything. Love, Ann-Sofie from Sweden.
I have found that often the feeling of being lost is your Soul's way to be found. Meditation may help to guide you to the realization of all the talent that you truly do possess. As an aside, your gifts are many and you will be successful in an avenue that you have not considered. You are planning to attend law school, is this to please someone else? Remember that recognition from others has little value when you don't harbor a strong belief in your capabilities and self-worth.
When we find our path, we also find things run smoothly and easily. When we are singing our song, living life according to the flow of our path, we find happiness, joy and love. However, when we try to please others, or when our song has been thwarted or misdirected, life's waters can be harsh. It is important to be guided by your inner intuition and to honor yourself and your truth. In order to discern what is best for us, we must always choose the place of light within us that honors our true calling, and empowers our self-worth. "Do what you love and the money will follow" - Marsha Sinetar
Be Well-Be Blessed-Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken) Cheers, Dani USA.
Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.