May 2, 2014 - submitted by Josephine, France
Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #166
It's been a difficult year for me. I've been living alone in a foreign country for the first time in my life and even though it is amazing to follow my dreams, there are days that I truly miss being home. Does that feeling go away? Because it is not easy to feel happy and sad at the same time.
Also if you could dye your hair any color what would it be?
The Oracle replies:
Firstly let me congratulate you on embarking on a huge adventure. It's not an easy thing to do - uprooting yourself from the familiarity of home to follow your dreams. It can be daunting but you took the plunge so well done you!
Having moved away from home several times, I have found the telephone (& now Skype, social media) to be invaluable. I miss certain people and certain things but not really the place though. I love where I live and given you can't live in two places (well, you can have more than home but obviously cannot be in two places at the same time) I am in the right place for the moment. I may decide to move again, who knows, but right now it's about being where makes me the happiest.
I guess you just have to weigh up what you gain from your current location versus what you miss about home. If like me it's people, just make the time and effort to connect and plan trips home or for people to visit you.
It sounds like missing home isn't all-consuming, more an occasional (understandable, natural) blip. For that reason and that you are both happy & sad, I think you will definitely find the homesickness will get easier.
Keep in touch with home and if it doesn't make things worse, maybe have a wander around on Google Earth or read books, watch films, listen to music from home and of course look at photographs.
I have dyed my hair so many different colours over the years. At my ripe old Oracle age it's all about covering the pesky greys.
Over to you.
I've also lived in a foreign country. I was in the Philippines. First of all make you house or apartment look like home. Also embrace the culture. Learn french if you don't know it already. I don't mean with books and stuff. Make friends ask them how to say fun things like "I am the banana king" Learn some useful things too. Try all their food that you don't have in your native country. Ask them. "What do foreigners usually not eat here" and then eat that. Most of all make some new friends.
I wouldn't dye my hair. I like my hair's natural color. I don't know what color I would dye your hair. I've never seen you and you natural color probably looks the best. Eric.
I have been living abroad for about 15 years now and I left the country I was born in when I was 18, so I know very well what you mean by missing home! The first years were really tough for me and I felt like you that I was pursuing my dreams but missed my family. I can happily tell you that that feeling does indeed go away with time, especially if you find ways to keep in touch with your family back home with video chat or audio chat. I video chat with my mum several times a week and now it truly feels like we are never apart. Also I don't cry at the airport any longer, so that can and does go away too.
As long as you feel the place you are in now is where you want to be and where you can best live your life now, you will find ways to keep home close to you, even if you are not physically there.
Enjoy your time abroad and best of luck for the future! Valentina.
These are extraordinary, special feelings you are going through right now.
First of all, you are very, very brave. Letting go and jumping into life is a big step, always! Be very proud and thankful of it.
By simply embracing this feelings you are going through right now is a good first step to just accept who you are. Your feelings show you that you are connected to your beloved ones and that you are caring about all the people you have left behind. Isn't that a wonderful thing to experience?
If you are sad, just go through it, let tears come, express it and after that you will feel relieved. Maybe you have people around you who are in a similar situation as you are in right now or someone you feel very comfortable with. Talk to them. You will discover, that once you start talking about it you will feel that a lot of people have same emotions, experiences and simply by sharing your situation you can support, give hope and strength to each other. Feeling happy and sad at the same time can be challenging and it is also a sign that you are really connected to your feelings. It's this duality that you will find everywhere in this world. Maybe this feelings come again and again, but it will get easier, for sure.
About haircolour: I like to keep it natural. Love, Verena.
It's a great thing that you are following your dreams! Our hopes and dreams are what carry us through life and motivate us to get to where we want to be. Being far away from your friends and those you love can be pretty difficult, and while it may seem like it'll never work, know that it is always temporary and there is always a brighter light down at the end of every long tunnel. Remember, lights will guide you home.
If I had to due my hair any color, it would probably most likely be blue. Nothing says a rad hair color like the color of the Ocean.
And have fun next month! Should be a fantastic concert! Sincerely, Aaron.
I'm in New Caledonia right now, on a very little island with extremely poor internet connection to the rest of the planet, 16 thousand km away from home. I literally couldn't be on land further away without going to the Moon. Missing home, missing every single person who's become a part of your life and who gets you so easily is a challenge, one of the biggest ones I've had to go through. But I've been here over a year, and my trip is over, I've done what I had to do, what I needed to get away for, and believe me it's worth the trouble. And
now, I'm better, and I'm ecstatic at the thought of seeing all my loved ones in just a few weeks (I might see you at the concert as well).
So I know sometimes it's hard, it might even get harder than it is now. But before you know it, you'll be incredibly happy you had the courage. Take care of yourself. And in case of emergency, phone someone who knows you best, no matter how much it costs. Alice.
I don't think you will ever not get homesick. Home is where you really feel like you are part of something, and it is definitely hard to experience such a change in lifestyle and culture when you are used to something that you have been part of for a long time. But stay positive, home is still there, it's not gone forever, make the most out of your time in a foreign country because there are positives you can go and search for.
PS: I'd dye my hair with the colours of the rainbow! John.
I am still in my early 20's but have moved to new places often and have lived by myself for more than five years now. Before that I went to boarding school, so I am very familiar with different forms of homesickness. Usually it fades over time, especially if you keep busy and surround yourself with good people. Immerse yourself in the culture and enjoy the food where you are, while at the same time enjoy things that remind you of home. Ask your family or friends to send you a care package with your favorite snacks and savour them!
Plan a trip or something else to look forward to. Also know that you are not the only one feeling happy and sad at the same time! There are so many others like you in the world, let that be encouragement that you can do it! Keep following your dream.
Listen to the new Coldplay songs and have a good cry then wipe your tears because summer is nearly here!
If I could dye my hair any color it would be purple because I think it is very on trend right now and a cool color (I have semi-permanent dye ready to go when I get the time)!!
Coldplay shows are amazing! Have fun! Karin.
In the place where I live, there are many borders, many beautiful landscapes and to go to the city must take many transport and only those who live in the center of the city can go to school and then go to the university without many drawbacks. What I mean is that not all we can fulfill the dream of being a doctor, master, lawyer at the University of the country and for this reason many young people leave their home to fulfill her dream. My friend happens to him the same thing that happened, is enclosed between four walls alone but he knows that if the time passes quickly and that everything you expect will be worth much worth in the future. I give you the same advice to it: with time everything will be back to normal & you're not sad or alone and you'll be with your family or the people that you love most. Luck Josephine! And congratulations on having the opportunity to see my group Coldplay! I never saw. Greetings from Argentina. Daniela.
I can relate to how you must be feeling right now, I've lived alone in a foreign country too. I lived on the other side of the world from my family. I was having the time of my life, but at the same time I was also crying my eyes out because I was homesick. The answer is yes, the feeling does go away. It might take a while, but if just keep going and don't give up on your dreams, it'll go away. I know it's hard, but when you feel sad, try to go out with your friends there or meet some new people to hang out with. Try to avoid calling your family at those time, cause that will only make it worse. Good luck, I know you can do it. Ps: I'd dye my hair pink or purple, I have no idea why though. Amanda.
Leaving home and moving to another country is not easy but following dreams is the best thing that we ever do. Sometimes you miss home and consider why you are here, why you aren't at your own town. But when your dreams come true you're gonna get used to that feeling and being happy again. You should not give up on your dreams. If you leave them and go back to your home you'll be sad lifelong because you'll have left behind your dreams, I mean your "life" We have one life and should live it what we want to live. Trust me and go on your way. Finally I haven't think about ever before, but I would choose ginger.
Good luck. Oylum.
Last year I was on a two-week trip to a foreign country with my school. Although it was such an amazing opportunity, there were days where I was quite emotional about not being at home with my family and friends. I felt exactly how you feel, happy because you're having a great time but also sad because you're away from home. It feels as if the homesick feeling is almost always with you no matter how much of a good time you're having.
I found that communicating with friends and family from home (through phone, email) helped me a lot, because it reassured me that everybody back home is ok and it made me feel less lonely. I also found that taking my mind off of my homesickness and focusing on the positive things about being in another country helped. It helps to be appreciative of your new environment, and to focus on the positive things rather than your homesickness.
And if I could dye my hair any colour it would probably be a lighter shade of brown.
All the best. Rhys, Canada.
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