March 7, 2014 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
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My brother and I have had a history of fighting/arguing. Sadly there were periods of time in which we stopped talking to each other. As we grew up and became adults (we are both on our 30's) we became more tolerant and understanding. My brother has a really difficult personality. He can be the meanest of all and then all of the the sudden he can be the sweetest.
I'm trying to understanding him, as he has had a rough life full of frustrations and stuff. We've forgiven each other and I've been focusing on his positives and leaving the past in the past.
My brother just called me to tell me that he was going to move to my city and that he was planning to live one week every 3 weeks at my place. He is planing to work nearby he doesn't want to find a place to live in Edm. Instead, he's planning to come and live with me. He didn't consult me. He just said he would come and that I could help him.
Now, this worries me because of our personalities and our past fighting. I'm scared that in one of "swing" moods he says the typical harmful things he says about me or about my mom. (he and my mom has never got along). Sometimes he calls me and vents all his frustrations with me. I just listen to him. He just wants to get listened to. But I get so sad and my energy so low... he brings up things from the past and I just listen him. So I'm very scared. He knows I might say yes. I always listen to him and try to be supportive but I feel he is taking advantage of that and that he knows I won't say no. But I want to say no.
I know him and I know this is going to be terrible. I'm feeling selfish at the same time. But after a long time, I finally got my own place to live. To live in peace. To try to figure out my own things. Honestly, I don't know what to do. Can you kindly give your opinion? I need an unbiased opinion on this one. I know, I know, he is going to end up staying longer... I simply know that. It really gets me how lay back he is...he was just telling me, "Oh I can stay at your place, then at my sister's, or I can fly to where my parents live." I was like, dude, you should get your own place. But... I'm very upset. Please Oracle. If you could give me your opinion, that would be much appreciate it. Thanks very much Anon, Canada.
Look forward to seeing your replies.
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