September 6, 2013 - submitted by Ea, Colombia
Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #134
Iím in the middle of a huge dilemma, and this is my last chance to take decisions for my life. The thing is, that Iím super talented and kind of successful in something that I really truly hate. So, I donít know if I should keep doing this, even when Iím not happy about it (but itís something sure in my life), or if I should give up and try to search something that makes me happy. What should I do? Can you please help me?
The Oracle replies:
I remember when I was young and I didn't particularly excel in any subject. I was envious of many of my friends who had natural talents in art, music, sport etc. I thought they were mad when they didn't want to take those subjects. I always thought that if you had a natural aptitude for something, you may as well take the exams and get great grades without hardly trying. I thought that's what I'd have done in their position.
My point is, I wasn't in their position so have no idea what I would have done.
As it's a sure thing in your life I imagine that can potentially bring feelings of a financially secure future ahead and that's a comforting thought.
However, I used to think easy was good until I took a leap of faith & gave up everything I had to follow a dream. It was the best decision I could have made. It might not have gone down well with everyone but it was my decision and mine alone. After all, it is my life.
Right now I know that I wouldn't do something I hated no matter how gifted I was. Happiness is far more important to me. Life is short so make it a happy one.
Over to you.
You should never do something youíre not happy doing, even less if you actually hate it. Regardless of your talent, if you continue doing it, down the road you will most likely regret choosing something that doesnít bring happiness to your life. Even if starting the search for something more fulfilling may take time and be difficult, looking back Iím sure it will be the best for you. You should respect yourself enough to walk away from something that doesnít serves you, grows you or makes you happy.
Love Paz, Colombia.
The bottom line to this is that you should never start a career with something that you absolutely hate. I would disagree with my previous statement though if at one time you really did enjoy what you were doing, if this is the case I suggest that you truly think about why you might have lost interest in the first place. Sometimes we can enjoy something and then become tired because we feel like it is not fulfilling our lives,we're not good enough,or other situations that might get in the way. The reason why this happens is simply because we are flawed human beings. We lose interest in everything we're doing if we don't keep check on ourselves, whether it is something we like or not. Now, if this is something that you have hated from the very beginning I suggest that you begin with a new start. Change is a scary thing, but it is very important throughout our lives in order to reach the goals we are searching for. You asked what should I do? and my reply is that no one can truly give you that answer, it all comes down to you. There is an "unknown" in either path that you choose but that is the interesting part. Have faith and if you are a spiritual person I suggest that you pray and seek guidance. I wish the best for you. Katelyn, USA.
You have already answered your own question. If something doesn't work why keep doing it? Maybe you can study a new subject you sound very talented. You have passed the hardest part letting others know you need help that's brave thing to do.
Do something you have put off before its a big world and there's so much to try!
Good luck. Carly.
Give up what you're doing and do something you like instead. If this is truly the last chance you have to change you life, do it. You shouldn't be spending your life thinking that you could have done something better when you had a chance to do it.
You should do what makes you happy, but don't jump to that right away. The smart thing to do in this situation is to stay with what works now. Keep doing what you're doing until you have made enough money to support you while you search for something that you will like doing. It will take time, like anything, but when the time comes, it'll be worth it. Start setting money aside to have when you are looking for a new job, enough to pay for rent, food,and any other necessities. If moneys not a problem then go ahead and start searching now. Or find something that will make you happy, something like a new hobby, to help ease the stress. Do whatever you think is necessary, if you want to leave your current profession then do so, but make sure you can support yourself until you find something new. With time youíll find it, or it will find you. Good luck to ya. Tim.
I have been asked this type of question a ton of times and my answer is always the same; don't do something you're not happy doing for a living unless there is another secure option for you to take. If you're not happy with your lifestyle then change it! You say that your current job is the only thing you're talented at, right? Wrong. Surely, no person would be talented at (and love) only one thing in the world, you just have to find your other interests! If you really can't find another thing to do, try finding a job that has what you're talented at but at the same time is something you love, eg. If you're working as an architect you'd be great at maths which could have you work in financial business (if you like it) You might also need to study new subjects prior to changing your job. It's just a matter of patience and effort. Make sure you don't leave your current job until you find another, because you might end up jobless and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like that. Always be careful when making life changing decisions. Oh, and once you change your job, you might go through a little period of depression, that does NOT mean you made the wrong choice. Be strong! Solaf.
I can so empathize with your situation. I worked at things I hated for years, to have certainty in my life. Then I got fed up because I wanted to be happy. It sounds like you are fed up, too. I would go for what you want, even if it means jumping into the unknown. It may be the harder road in the beginning, but ultimately it will turn your life around and bring you so much joy. Whatever you choose to do, remember to be kind and gentle with yourself about your choice. I wish you all the best and hope you will write the Oracle again in the future about your decision and how things are going. Gently as we go. Hugs, Audrey F. Los Angeles.
I really think you should do the things you love in life because obviously you will have to wake up every day and deal with it. So if you do something you hate you will never be happy.
I know itís easy to say but try to find something you love to do.
I hope you'll find your way!
You must try search something that makes you happy and if you don't have success, you should continue doing this that you hate, I think the time would do that you love this thing that you hate. Greetings! Christian.
First of all I canít imagine this is a last chance for decisions in your life. I think you would agree that it is always possible someone or something else makes a decision for you in your life. Then it is possible always to make decisions yourself, before they are done. Maybe this decision makes you bound for a long time, so you have a good cause for your doubt.
I know your dilemma, my talent is one I did not want to use either first. Itís a gift to have talents and maybe you can mix it with something else, something youíre not so very talented in, but something you can learn. I tried to run away from it, but in the end I found myself using my talent to get one step further. Then suddenly I discovered another talent I did not know at all before and this is now what keeps the thing running for me. It sounds youíre talking about your job, your job is not everything, you can have or do things besides your job to make you happy.
Though it canít be good to do something every day what you really hate completely. Maybe itís only the results of it you donít like. Try to analyze and start a change now. Best wishes for your future. L.Q.
Your story is one that probably many can relate to, myself included. People can find themselves torn between what they want to do with their lives and what they feel they should. I recently started college, majoring in a subject that several people warned me might be a bit ĒunsureĒ. But you know what? That little bit of uncertainty does not even come close to overpowering the happiness I feel now. I was torn between going down a path that would basically ensure me a job easily, and a path that would ensure me a job I have dreamed of for years, if I worked a little harder to get it. And now here you are, at a similar crossroad. And from personal experience, I can tell you that taking a risk can sometimes be the best thing. Spend your life doing what you love and what makes you happy. If you have to work a little harder and face some obstacles along the way, then so be it. Happiness is worth fighting for, right? I wish you the best of luck. Sincerely, Medina.
I know it's a tough decision you need to make so you really have to think about it. I really don't want to decide for you, but I'd like to give you some advice. If I were you, I would give up doing this. I don't know what exactly you have in your mind, but I believe it would destroy you more than it would help you. How can you be so sure of it? You know, nothing's really sure in life. I would rather look for something that would make you happy. I think it would be better because this decision is going to change your whole life. Take your time.
Best wishes, Ola.
Thanks to all those who replied to this weekís question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.