December 7, 2012 - submitted by Paul, United States of America
Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #99
I have been recently out of a relationship. Truth be told, for a time it was amazing beyond the cosmos. You hear stories of how two people meet and fall in love that sounds like it was ripped right out the movies. But truth be told, it was quite simply a love that will and cannot be ever be replicated. It was the perfect conditions for a perfect love. Somewhere in that ether, the relationship could not withstand all the changes that surmounted that culminated in these two people being put in a very unfamiliar place. Simply put, we were taken out of what we knew and moved to mars. It was a once in a lifetime love. I doubt it will ever happen again. But if she sees this, I want her to know that I'll always be around and bond is strong. I wanted let these thoughts permeate into the universe. My question is, "Can lighting strike twice?"
The Oracle replies:
Lightning can always strike twice.
It all sounds jolly romantic the way you've described it, Paul but as you may know, I'm an old cynic so forgive me if I burst that bubble. I shall try not to.
Some love isn't meant to last but usually there's an "end" not just a break-up. Whether there's infidelity or people fall out of love, something changes . I'm not talking about a career change or a move across the world here. I don't know your end reason but I can't help wonder why. I know you allude to the fact that it was out of your hands but unless death has intervened I have to say if it really was that amazing, it would still be that amazing.
It sounds like it's too soon to be asking your question. You're clearly holding this past relationship in such high esteem, no woman could ever come close to matching that until you let go and let it become a lovely part of your past. It could take a long time before you feel ready for love again. Try not to have any expectations; that way you won't be disappointed.
Some people don't experience what you have in once lifetime so be happy and grateful knowing you had such a great love.
I confess I am speaking from experience. I was lucky enough to feel those feelings - more than once. There were "ends".
With the passage of time, I now look at it all differently. I don't mind if they're never to be repeated. It'd be great to think they may be but that's one of life's mysteries.
Let it unfold and be open to the notion that yes, why not? Lightning can always strike twice.
Over to you.
Unfortunately or thankfully - it can very well! You sound empathic and visionary, you have a gain in experience now. I’m quite sure it will happen to you and it will happen at a moment you are not expecting it. Then you will be glad that it did not happen before and you don’t need to decide for one and against another!
Every love is singular, some miss a lasting orbit for any reason. The best thing we can save from a broken relationship is being friends, though a tricky difficult thing!
You are still not totally through with your last painful experience and it takes time.It is important to close this chapter finally for ever in your mind; if you don’t you would always compare a new love with the lost one - no good start for a happy relationship. I hope lucky stars will show you the right path! L.Q.
What you and your girlfriend had was pretty special, and you were really lucky for that.
I suppose with change comes inevitable hardship. I'm sure the case wasn't that you jumped ship immediately but all relationships need work. They are never perfect as yours may have been for that time, and as strained as they sometimes become its almost always worth it to try and save.
Although a break may be just what you need, you can reacclimatise to your surroundings and rediscover those things that brought you two star crossed lovers together. Who knows, you might be brought together again and your love might be strong enough to withstand the changes that too often inconvenience our lives.
And so to your actual question 'Can lighting strike twice?' I have two answers to this; the simple one is yes and no, but more yes. The probability of being struck twice by lightning is infinitesimal but the chances of recreating lost love is a lot greater, I predict. The not so simple answer is that it depends on whether what you had at the core of your relationship is deep enough to pull you through the bad times as well as the good. Of course only you two know that and if it feels like you don't know now you better find out. Unlike lightning, relationships don't happen on their own so excuse me for ripping off your advice Oracle but make it happen! Wishing you all the best, Naomi x
Many people tend to hold on to that love that seems 'perfect' and 'irreplaceable'. If you want the lightning to strike twice, you have to make it happen before she moves on. Bring back the perfect memories to her. Make her see that you love her, and she's irreplaceable. Make her seem that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Love is tough, and if you want to soften it out, you have to do something about it. Hope I have been of any help and good luck, K x.
I don’t know if the question should be “Can lighting strike twice?”, or “Can love strike twice?” And the answer to that question is a definite YES! I don’t want to minimize your situation, because when your world crashes in around you it hurts and it’s hard to move on. But as in the words of the musical “Annie”, “The sun will come up tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar, there’ll be sun…” So take some time, hang with your friends, find a way to brighten someone else’s day, have dinner with someone… This might also be a good time to take a look at your life from a different perspective. Is it on track? Are you the person you want to be? This is a great time to put things in motion get that degree, look for a new job, go on that trip, (I love road trips.) All the best and Good Luck! David.
You will always treasure the love that you both had - it sounds really special! In answer to your question "can lightning strike twice?" i think that if you are asking will you fall in love the same way with someone else, yes, you might! Or, the love in your new relationship might be just as wonderful, but in a different way! If you are asking whether you and your ex could ever re-experience the intensity and romance of your relationship, well, I think that yes, you can! But every relationship takes working on to deepen and strengthen etc, so that will be up to both of you! I don’t know how you feel, but I think relationships are truly 'organic' in that they grow, change, strengthen, etc as we do, and if we let them. As people change & grow, the relationship/feelings/intensity will also change, grow, etc. But Paul, I do think it’s important that if you are to enter into a new relationship to remember that no woman likes to feel she is being compared to an ex, so, cherish the memories of your wonderful times and relationship with your ex, but embrace the future, whichever, whatever, it may be! I hope this helps a little? All the best! Cali.
Yes, lightning can strike twice! Just because one amazing relationship ended, doesn’t mean a new and possibly even more amazing relationship isn’t in your future. Keep the faith! It ended because wasn’t meant to be – at least not right now. Such a love as the one you described may be hard to get over and that is completely understandable, but instead of mourning what is lost, remember the good times that made you smile. And keep in mind: lightning can strike twice, maybe even better the second time. Best wishes, Medina.
Maybe its that same lightning at a different stage. I think it depends on whether both of you are willing to give it another try. Im sorry if this doesn't help much, I think you should just talk to her that way you know if there is any chance left. It mostly depends on if the feelings or hopes are mutual. Good luck. Love, Darem.
No, lightning will never, ever strike twice. Fortunately, love isn't lightning, now is it? As for Coldplay's advice, "Don't let it break your heart!' Things happen, let time do its thing and just keep going. It hurts now, but when the right person finally does come along, you'll be ready. As for now, try finding things to keep your mind clear, and to enjoy. As a personal recommendation, I recommend listening to Coldplay, playing sports, and finding a productive hobby to do. Good luck to you, J.
I've heard about a man who was struck twice by actual lightning. So, I definitely believe it can happen in terms of relationships! Unfortunately, the relationship you described seems to be one of those fleeting flames, and those moments of intense brightness between two people never seem to last long enough. If and when something like this does happen again, with someone else or even the cosmic girl you describe, don't compare it to what you had before. If you do, there is a strong chance you will be let down because it will not be identical or meet your expectations. Instead of trying to follow this relationship by chasing lightning, step to the side and start something entirely new. Best of luck, Blake.
Thanks to all those who replied to this week’s question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.