August 10, 2012 - submitted by Farah, United States of America
Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #83
I do need some answers that I haven't been able to figure out yet. I wish I could find out my place in this world. Take the guys for instance, they've been playing on for years and they probably have known what they wanted to do for so long right? They do it so well... what do you do Oracle when you just don't know what to do with your life? But I mean really don't know. I'm not some teenager who hasn't given much thought about it, and I'm not even in my 20s anymore. Tried several things and I'm clueless. Totally clueless. But I do wish I had that something. Like anyone really who has truly found happiness in finding their place. Any ideas?
Thanks for your time. Farah.
The Oracle replies:
Don't worry too much Farah, it takes some people longer than others to work out what they want to spend their life doing.
You may want to grab a pen and make notes.
Have a think about the following aspects of your life in general: what do you enjoy? What have you a passion for? Have you any talents? What qualifications do you have? What interests you? What drives you? What do you have a strong opinion about? What makes you happy?
After you have answered those questions, have a think if there's anything you have as a hobby or are involved in that could turn into a vocation.
I think it's important to decide what kind of wage is enough not to struggle. It's worth bearing in mind whether you are a people person, would you be good helping others or in customer services perhaps. Are you creative, practical or like manual & physical work? Do you want to be part of a team or work alone? Could you work from home, for yourself, part-time/full-time...?
All the factors you need to consider where you'd be happy spending a lot of your time.
Think carefully about sacrifices you're willing to make whether that be financial or logistical - you may need to move, or re-train. You might have a family that can and are willing to support you but if you don't, you have to also think about the impact of any decisions on dependents.
If it helps to know that at 25 I did a whole u-turn and started again. I believe that anyone can at any age but you have to be willing to adapt, change and fight for what you want when you do work it out. I think the simplest thing is to pick something that would make you happy no matter what that is and how it's seen to be by anyone else but you.
I can't help you choose the right path but if it doesn't appear, don't give up in looking for what it is. It might not be a job; maybe it's a cause to campaign for. Whatever it turns out to be, good luck!
Over to you.
Well, at some point of our lives, we feel confused about what are we going to do with it. We feel like we are nothing in a big world. We want to be ourselves but we also don't want to disappoint anybody. I have a similar case, but the difference is that I'm a teenager. I will be finishing school soon, and I have my parents telling what to do. I think everybody should follow their heart. If you love music, be a musician. If you love literature, be a writer. If you love medicine, be a doctor. If you love teaching, be a teacher. If you love life, live it the way you want, just don't hurt anybody as long as you live. I know it's not that simple, right? I mean, maybe it's late, but it's never too late. Maybe you love doing a lot of things, but you should find something you love and you are good at. If you think you can't find your place in the world, make a place yours. Take something and make it your own. Fight for what you want, for what you need. If you don't know what it is, perhaps you need to find you. Take a time out of city and all that noise and find yourself, find your dream and follow it. Cause what is life without being happy? It's just a waste of time. If you are in love and he's in love with you, don't let him go. You're place is not a place you found, it's a place you made yours, where you belong. It's like your home. But a house it's not a home, right? This world is huge, it's bigger than you, than me but we all end where we should end, we just need a little help. Just follow your heart, it knows who you are better than anyone. It can't make mistakes. Happiness is just next to you, maybe you just were blind all this time.
Lots of love, Lyssete.
What are you passionate about? Do that. Focus on others. Decide to be happy. With our thoughts we create the world. Think about it, with our thoughts we create the world. Everything you see (outside of the natural world) started as a thought. Your shoes, a song, this email, my chair. Surrender to the universe, do not seek for yourself, strive to serve others and give of yourself. You can choose how you feel. With a thought. It's OK to make mistakes. Steve.
Firstly, do you THINK there's something wrong with not knowing what to do with your life? Or do you FEEL like there's something missing? Because if you simply think not knowing is a problem, take a look at all the opportunities around you, and just let them flow. Perhaps stop trying to plan it out and having such an end result in mind. Haven't you had trillions of good, valuable experiences in your life while you were out there searching?
If you really FEEL that there's something missing, I'd begin with the Bible, and good quality people, with whom you can talk to about anything. Those are two of the most valuable things in life, and if you've got them, your life will figure itself out, no worries. Sarah.
I've been through this so many times so trust me I know how you feel. Being confused and clueless about what to do in life could totally freak you out sometimes. With all ups and downs it all seems like a game in which you lose or win but at some point there comes a moment when you just don't know how to play it anymore. My experience has proven me that depression and sadness definitely won't fix the things so my advice is that you shouldn't worry that much about your problem. To be honest I don't think there's some kind of a clear explanation about why people go through this. In my occasion when I feel like I don't know what to do with my life soon or later something (or someone) just suddenly reminds me that life is too short to be spent in thoughts about how should you live it. If you're not that patient to wait for it you can for example make a list of all things that you're interested in (favourite music, movies, activities) and just enjoy them. You'll feel much better and life won't seem as an unexplainable mess. Who knows, it's even possible to find the thing or the person that will always be next to you in those moments of confusion about life and how should you deal with all of its challenges. Anon.
I am wondering who told you you had to have everything figured out? Life is not about the destination it's really about the journey. Don't buy into the theory that you have to have all this figured out, the vast majority don't and are still happy. This should be your goal so do what makes you happy and what you have a passion for if you don't know it's ok it will show itself by your life's experiences.
Do what you have a passion for and the rest will come along and remember that as you grow and mature you will change and so will the things you are passionate about - it's about changing and adapting. Enjoy the journey! Laurie.
You have already tried many different things, which is a great way to discover your place in this world! Remember, everyone has a different journey to experience. Some people know their path straight away, while others take more time. What are you most passionate about? In my honest opinion, we can only be truly satisfied with our lives when we find our passion and pursue it. Maybe that means securing your dream career, or getting married to the person you love. Whatever that is for you, just make sure you are living your life the way you intend. Be patient and you will fall into your place. Best of luck, Blake.
It sounds like you need something to strive for, but only you can find out what it is.
Not everyone knows what to do with their lives from the get go, so you just find what makes you happy, and you set your goals in life to reflect this.
Just do what you love, with who you love, and you will find the answer to your questions much quicker than you'll expect.
By the way, the answer to your questions is happiness, that will give you the fulfillment you desire.
Best wishes! Bradley H.
First of all, don't feel like you are the only person who feels that way. Finding one's place in this world is something that a ton of people struggle with, regardless of age. It is a without a doubt a very helpless and discouraging feeling. What matters most is not letting those feelings beat you down and realizing that your life has a purpose, regardless of whether you have found it yet.
The guys of Coldplay have realized success because they are extremely talented and passionate about what they do. They undoubtedly have incredible day jobs, but at the end of the day the reason they are so good at what they do is because they are fulfilling a sense of purpose.
For you, begin by focusing on moments when you have felt an inkling of a sense of purpose, no matter how small. Find a way to make those moments happen more often.
Remember that there may not be a magic moment when everything clicks into place. Life is a day-by-day kind of thing. Make the most of every day by filling them with those purposeful moments. For me that means using a skill that I have for the good of someone else. It is hard to feel discouraged about life when you end everyday thinking of how you will be able to help someone else tomorrow. Lindsey.
Thanks to all those who wrote in with their thoughts. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's question, and send us your answer.