November 7, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 13 November.

I recently lost my Dad. He was 72 and had not been ill, then started to feel tired and unwell. From the start of him feeling off colour to his death was 6 weeks. From his diagnosis to his passing was 3 weeks. He died in my arms at 21.01 on April 16th and passed away very peacefully. If there is such a thing as a beautiful death, then my beautiful Dad had it. The air was so thick with love, that if love was a physical solid thing, you could almost have reached out and touched it.
The trouble is, although I see that it was a blessing that he didn't suffer, he didn't have to experience any traumatic treatments etc and that he was surrounded by me, my Mum and Brother in his final days, I am struggling terribly. He's gone, I'm never going to see him, hear his voice again, smell his amazing smell or hear him call me Looby Lou, and it's heartbreaking. People who know me well can see this has had a profound effect on me, they know how important he was to me and when I'm asked how I am, I just can't explain how bereft I feel. How on Earth will I ever feel like me again.
I keep being told to smile and be happy, that my Dad wouldn't want me to feel like this, but it doesn't change how much I miss him, it doesn't bring him back, it doesn't make it right. I have an 8 year son who had the most amazing relationship with his Grandad and he has been a Godsend, but he's asking me questions I can't answer like where has Grandad gone. Who knows?
I miss him, he was an amazing man who lived a full life, a Naval career for 28 years, an expedition leader to the Arctic several times, a British Empire Medal owner. It seems so unfair for someone so full of life to be taken from us. How does someone cope with the loss of the person who shaped her into the woman she is today, who instilled his life lessons and morals into me? I feel totally heartbroken but in the same breath am trying to keep things normal for my little boy. It's the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I can't see how I will ever feel like me again :(
Any advice is so gratefully accepted. Lisa, UK.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.
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